Prayer is not coincidence! Pray, pray and pray some more!

Pray without ceasing.  This is likely a verse I learned very early in my years.  I always wondered - how does this happen.  How does one pray - without stopping?  How do you do life, and still pray?  What is the posture that God wants us to have?  On our knees.  Face down before him?  

I believe that over the years, I have learned a lot about prayer.  About having conversation with the Father.  I have come to understand how like when my kids were little and came to sit on my lap - this is not unlike what the Father loves too!  I sometimes  no OFTEN, imagine sitting on the lap of the Father, my head on His chest, feeling the beat of his heart, and talking to Him.  I believe this characterizes prayer too.  Oh how He longs for us to come and talk with him.  

I have come to realize that prayer can be like breathing.  You know, we don't even really think of the aspects of inhaling and exhaling ... we just do it.  I believe that prayer is like this and that as we pray more and more, it becomes just well, "second nature" and our expression to the LORD.

Throughout my years, I have had the opportunity and the privilege to stand in the gap (so to speak) for others.  To pray for the homeless, and also for those who are in their comfy homes but needing prayer.  I remember one time when I was Toronto at a conference for our denomination, we went on a "spiritual scavenger hunt" in an area that you actually didn't really want to find yourself in close to midnight.  But in we went, in groups of 2's.  One of the things we were encouraged to do was to pray with someone that God would place along our path, but to have a conversation with them first, and then if they were okay with it, to pray with them.  This night was the first time I ever experienced the feeling of seeing someone with Jesus eyes, and I was brought to tears, as my soul felt overwhelmed with seeing this person perhaps as Jesus does.  This has happened to me just a handful of times since, where I have "felt" this, like the LORD gives me his eyes.  

 I have also been asked to pray for the sick, and also for the dying.  There is something about being there as someone is dying.  It is like being on holy ground.  I thank God for those times as I've prayed for the one being ushered into heaven, and also for the family letting them go for the time being.  

Praying for the sick, has stretched me in places as I have felt like I have put it all on the line, asking God to heal - ad to show His might and power!  

I have had the opportunity to pray for countless women, and men over the years of ministry here.  To stop what I have been doing, and to be invited into a story.  This weekend was no exception.  I have prayed for people ahead of their visit here, and then often have prayed with people around a cup of coffee, or a hug and a prayer prayed into their ear.  

I will admit that sometimes the list of people to be prayed for seems long.  I don't think I am the only person who has willingly said "I will pray for you" only to have forgotten.  I don't think I am the only one that has been thanked for praying, and realizing that I had forgotten.  Talk about feeling like I have let someone down!! I have come to see that with prayer, as a sister in Christ once told me - that the prayers of the saints are eternal!  That God doesn't care if I pray about the same thing over and over - that He knows, and if I prayed once - that is sufficient. 

I have come to believe that if I feel the need to pray for someone, then I need to for sure do it immediately - with them.  I believe I can pray not only in person (which I love doing) but can also pray with someone over the phone (my parents did that with me) or even through text or email.  I also write out my prayer time conversations in my journal.  I don't believe there are rights or wrongs in our prayer life.  Or maybe the only wrong would be to never pray!

I can not imagine life without prayer.  For me, the most incredible gift is also when someone stops me, and prays.  This doesn't happen as much as I would love, but it does happen, and I am thankful.

I have also come to realize that we do not have to know the person that we are praying for.  And I also believe that God enlarges our hearts for people that we may not know, but feel a need to pray.  This has happened alot lately - as God has brought me into stories of two women, who are in ministry and whose husbands died by suicide.  Or the stories of a wife, whose husband is recovering from an extreme head injury where he likely should have died (2 and a half years ago) but it seems God has other plans!  Or most lately Ive been praying for a little girl and her family, who is in rehab after suffering a freak fall off a golf cart.  I have woken up in the night (for no reason) only to have God bring one of the names to mind - and I pray.  

We do not always know the affects of our prayers, but we do know the one who is the Miracle Maker.  As I talked with someone this weekend, I did say that sometimes the way we pray is not answered the way we hope, but we have to trust that God is sovereign and fully in control. We sometimes feel entitled to a certain answer don't we?  We need to remember that God is NOT a vending machine, nor does He operate like Santa Claus.  If you have children, you will agree with me that any good parent does not give their child everything they ask for.  We like to think we know the best for our kids.  I believe this is much like our Abba - who knows exactly what we need and when.    I believe that prayer is about spending time in adoration and confession as well.  Praising him first for who he is - for recalling His faithfulness to us, and to our families.  And yes, there is time to ask ...  

One of my friends experienced a tragedy in their family and told me that one of the family members wondered why even pray if God didn't answer the prayer that seemed like the best prayer that day!  (don't we always ask for safety for our kids?). When we talked, she shared that her spouse felt that perhaps praying was of no value since God does his own thing anyhow.  To be honest, I likely felt this same way ten years later when our grandson was born silently, and we prayed and petitioned God like I have never done before or since.  But to "seemingly" no avail.  We prayed with such fervour, but I asked God - WHERE WERE YOU?  WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER and I even voiced "God I don't even know if you are faithful!"  Oh I am so glad that His shoulders are way bigger than my rants.  BUT truth be told, his lack of responding to our prayer that day, really sent me for a loop.  

I won't ever act like I understand that. 

But I believe I can fully say now, that through each time I have prayed, whether God has answered in the way I prayed or not, that I have grown in my faith, and come to believe regardless - He is still sovereign.  He has not abandoned us and He is still faithful.

Prayer.  Like our breath, becomes something we do more and more of, if we are open to being invited into others lives, and to pray with people.

Prayer becomes our response - in the good - in the bad - and yes, even in the ugly.

Prayer is what we do regardless of color or race, financial status or whether it is a friend, family member or just someone we have read about.

Prayer is our response - and our way to stand in the gap and hold up people's arms (like when Moses needed his arms to be held up by others)

Pray.

without ceasing

Just. Pray.

j

PS

As I was writing this, I was reminded of the verses that talk about the prayers of the saints being collected in golden bowls in the throne room of God ... what a powerful image that is!  Just think - my prayers - your prayers - the prayers of others are there!!  WOW.  

So as I head off to bed, I will be praying .... for Kayla, for Julie, for Eva Love, Dugan and Lindsey, for Laura nd Jonny.  (none of which I know) And then for my family, especially my littlest "grand" who has been up experiencing croup tonight ... and then for my friends, T.T. in Nepal, and Karen in the UK and on and on ...

It is a privilege to stand in the gap ....  

My father used to say "People always say that answers to prayer are just coincidences, but you will soon see that if/when you stop praying - coincidences stop happening!! "     My dad was right.

Prayer does change things.

Okay, off to bed... 

He speaks ...

I began this page of my journal as stated in the picture.  O LORD thank you for the stillness of today. It is a still day.  My grandsons who were staying with us, are in school.  I need to clean up remnants of our last few days, and remake some beds, but it feels like an okay day to procrastinate in those areas and to just be still!

And as I sat, I penned these words - maybe they could speak to you too!

He speaks
through the stillness
His presence tangible
without me seeing his face
I know He's here

Strong arms
wrapped about my shoulders
the same shoulders that sometimes feel the weight of the world on them
and He, with his strong arms - lifts the weight off
and carries it for me
His voice whispers - "Come onto me - all you who are weak and heavy laden
and I will give you rest"      *Matthew 11:28 TLB
His strong arms about me
are a great big hug from the Almighty.

He speaks in the silence
through the beauty of the Blue Jays
and the joy of the Chickadees
Their color.
Their actions.
Their sounds.
remind me that I am created by the same Creator who made them ~ 
my feathery reminders of our God!
And He speaks ~ "Look at all the birds - do you think they worry about their existence?  
They don't plant or reap or store up food, yet your Heavenly Father provides
them each with food.  Aren't you much more valuable to your Father than they?"*Matt 6:26 TPT
And I know those words help me to stop my worrying
because I know that God's Got This!

He speaks
through the warmth of my surroundings, the comfy chair and the fireplace.
through the fragrance of the diffuser, the sound of the trickling water fountain near by,
the rustle of my Bible pages turning.
He even speaks in the mess of my kitchen.
The silence of this space ~
the sites, sounds, smells
speak loudly even though his voice can not be audibly heard.
HE SPEAKS

He surrounds me with a tangible thick sense of His presence
He overwhelms my senses and reminds me "I will never leave you or fail you" *Hebrews 13:5 NIV
He is always with me, even when I think I am alone.
And I don't want to get up from this place 
This place here and now
where I am being held by the Almighty in a very tangible sense.
Papa and Daughter
Holding 
Speaking
Affirming
LOVE ... pure love experienced in the stillness.
He has spoken and this girl has heard.

Maybe you needed to hear this today - maybe you need to stop what you are working at and just be.
Stop.  Sit.  Rest.  Listen to what He has to say to you.  Because my friend - HE SPEAKS.  We just have to tune our ears to his voice!!
Blessings on your day,
With love,
j

hello old friend, its been a while

This statue is at Mission Hill Winery in Kelowna

It has been a while since I have blogged here.  In fact, its been a long while - just over six months of a while.  I have missed it.  I love to write.  But life has taken on a life of its own so to speak, and I have found that I have done little writing anywhere except my journals, which at times are haphazard in themselves.   But I am here today - while in the middle of a babysitting stint for my two youngest grandchildren, one is at preschool - one is at school, and I am finding myself here at my favourite old haunt with a large London Fog tea.  Ah ...  it feels good to be here for an hour or so, and to breathe.

When I realize that it has been half a year since I posted here, I can hardly believe it.  I guess all the posts I thought I wrote are just in my mind.  Yep - my mind.  Often swirling with thoughts that are impacted by deep emotions.  My mind full of feeling "on top of the world" and then "feeling messy" which actually feels like it is more messy than anything.

I know that messy is ok.  I have no doubt that #Godsgotthis .  I often look at my arm which wears a #Godsgotthis black band as a reminder that in the messiness of life - He is fully God and fully Sovereign and fully in control EVEN IN MY MESS.  And that's good, because He knows I make a really terrible job of trying to keep things under my control!!

To recap the last 6 months - since I wrote during the time that I was looking after my "grand dog" at the time because my husband was away doing work with Mennonite Disaster Service (MDS) in Texas for two weeks.  It was such a good experience for him.  I have to admit I was a little jealous of being left at home but I knew I could not go and expend the energy at working in the kitchen, when that is what I do all the time in a volunteer capacity for the ministry here.    Then we had our fundraising dinner - which was a great night and we thank God for those who came, and the donations that came in.  Its alot of work but we are always so glad to have done it.  The day after, I had taken a speaking engagement at a church women's night.  It was so nice to tell my story, and I thank God for those opportunities.  I have told him - if HE wants me to speak and provides the opportunity, I will follow in obedience.  In June Alvin went on his motorcycle trip.  Now to be clear, he would welcome me to come anytime - but I just don't think I could handle such a trip.  Having struggled with some hip and back issues, I need to pick my battles lol.  SO I bless him to go, but TBT I really would have loved to get away somewhere for 12 days as well.

We went into summer - knowing we had two summer students who would be helping us with the garden.  Thankful for that.  We could not do the garden without help.

Normally, the ministry pattern is such that June gets slower and winds down for about a month and a bit and then winds up again and goes into fall head on - full strength.  But summer was unusually constant and there was a three week period of back to back people.  That is great - but for this introvert - it means I have to be proactive at self-care.  And, I am not always on the ball in that department.

Suffice to say - in many ways - summer was one of my hardest in many ways.  And I went into fall struggling. Maybe that word sounds dramatic.  For a person to see me, you may never have known.  I am as good as most that I know, to wear a good facade.  To answer "good" when I am asked how I am.  Life becomes a bit like a game of making moves, anticipating how one will have an affect on the other.  Inside, I knew what I felt.  On the outside I did what I needed to.  And I plodded through the last week of August and first three weeks of September much like someone sloughing through quicksand.  You have the mental picture.

During that time, I took the advice of my son, to connect with a counsellor/therapist who does EMDR (an evidence-based therapy) for unresolved trauma or recent trauma.   Like Rebecca said - we all go through BIG T Trauma but we also go through small t - trauma ... meaning there are many things in life that add up even if we just cast them aside thinking it was no big deal.  Meeting and sitting with RD has been life giving.  She is a believer which I think is even more helpful when walking through some life stuff with a counsellor.  

The other thing that I have seen as key to some transformation is being able to spend hours with the LORD.  Sitting.  Talking.  Worshipping.  Praying.  Journalling conversation. Just "BE-ing"....  and I realized last Friday that I can "breathe" again.  

I had chatted with my doctor about how I was experiencing some anxiety as well.  I was not one to experience anxiety - but had my first episode back in 2008 after we lost our grandson, and I was being pushed into some emotional corners at work.  I will never forget that day - I thought my chest was going to blow up.   During August and early September, I began to notice that feeling again. It was not a good reunion believe me.  

I guess I just bring all this up, to say that summer and fall were hard.  I knew who my LORD was and my relationship with him was good.  But I was still dealing with some past trauma and it wasn't feeling good.  Things that were currently were compounded with things that I thought I had dealt with in the past ... and all in all, it was just plain hard.  HARD with a capital H.  I am thankful for a good husband, family, a couple good friends who prayed me through this time, a great personal trainer who has not give-up on me (yet! LOL), a wonderful massage therapist who I believe also prays over me,  as well as a good MD and therapist, and know I could not have walked through those weeks without any of them, and most of all without God.  Yes life is hard - but oh man, I can't imagine life without Jesus.  It. Would. Be. So. Much. Harder.

NOW after sharing all the above - I can only imagine that at least one of the people reading this will ask me via message "Joy are you okay?  what is happening?"  And I want to say - I really REALLY am good!  REALLY.   I have come to understand myself so much better in the last month or two, and I am thankful for how God is chiseling, and forming me into more of himself.  It doesn't always feel good - but let me tell you - the end product is going to be amazing!!  WHY?  Because that is what God does!!

So, as I sign off for now (which is a week after I started the top part of this post) - on the evening of then first day of October - I say - I am thankful.  For so much.  My family.  My friends.  My prayer warriors.  The ministry God has called me to....  So thankful.  Since this time last week, I have had the privilege and great joy of watching first of all Ash and Mike's kids for two nights, and then now, as I type, I have our oldest two grandchildren upstairs in beds - fast asleep - as Josh and Leah are away this week.  I am so thankful for these grandchildren of mine - extensions of me - and expressions of such love in smaller packages!  I thank God for this joy in my life.  

So again - today - October 1st. I say thank you Jesus - for your love, for your incredible grace to me, and for each day that I can grow - and love others.  

I am so grateful.  

Those are my ramblings,

(for all they are worth lol)

Love, 

j

PS.  So, this song is one of my favourites.  It is an old song - but I love the words.  It is a song of thankfulness - and I also would say it is MY tribute!!  To God be the glory!