Reflections on our reading today (as Kilcona has encouraged us to do)

On the eve of the 2nd day of this new year - I sit in the corner of my great room, in my favourite chair, with my "comfort" pad lol (heating pad) and there are many thoughts swirling in this brain of mine!  Normally they say to page dump first thing in the morning - but here I am about to page dump because otherwise I will no doubt crawl into bed with the same thought swirling, and that never serves me well!

So here I go.  Many of the thoughts come from the combination of my reading for today (Thanks Kilcona for encouraging this) and for the thoughts that came out while I was walking (yep, I began again so I am again #barefootinblundstones)

We are going through the Bible from Genesis, and include 1 Psalm, but most of my thoughts are from the stories in the first Book of the Bible.  Today the focused reading was Genesis 4-7

Here is what I noted:

Cain was a farmer and Abel was a shepherd and God loved Abel's offering.  I don't think this is about meat vs grain.  But I believe it was about giving God our offering off the top!  

Cain killed his brother!  WHAT?  How does blood do that to blood?  Later as I read it says that Lamech who is like the great great great grandson of Cain - also murdered a man.   Is this the first we see of generational sin?  

Cain killing his brother was about jealousy!  It was around here that the verse came into reading about "sin  is crouching at the door eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master."  Okay, this got me to thinking about some of my struggle with weight and specifically with food.   This was not what God was talking to Cain about (food) but I can not help but think of how this verse would/could apply to me today.  My struggle with weight, and with eating too much is not a new revelation to anyone who knows me. And this verse sort of made me think about food.  I do not believe that eating or that any food in itself is sinful.  However I believe that when I make food my idol, and/or run to food to fill a need in my life, then I think that is wrong, and definitely not helpful.  This is a much bigger conversation that I may or may not every have with people but suffice to say, I think that the enemy longs to use whatever he can to cause me to give in, to make something my "go-to" instead of God and I think that is where the problem lies, and where sin can be crouching at my door!!    It made me think of when we lived in Anola and we had barn cats.  There was one in particular that would crouch by the door, and take every opportunity to run in when the door opened a crack.  I think this is what the Scripture is saying ...  sin is there crouching, waiting for the smallest crack.  Scripture says "sin is eager to control you" but you have a part of play in this!  The enemy is not the victor!

Cain killed Abel but then God "marked" Cain so that no one would kill him.  Today I wondered - what did the mark look like.  It was obviously visible.  What are your thoughts?  The mark was enough for people to leave him alone.  

Have you ever wondered if the seal of the Holy Spirit upon you, is visible to others?  

I loved hearing about Enoch and how he walked with God and then God took him.  He didn't die.  he just walked with God and then he was gone!  Imagine if God did that today - what would YOUR family think? Would people look for you?  Or would people just know - here today and then gone with God!  What a thought!

Noah - oh boy - how incredible to be him.  He was blameless and loved the LORD GOD enough to do exactly as God told him.  OKAY remember that it had not ever rained like that before.  Noah had no clue what would happen other than what God told him.  And then the skies opened and the rain fell - and fell and fell and fell and fell ....' And inside the floating barn - what did that sound like?  smell like?   Can you imagine?  We plug our noses when we pass a farmer spreading manure on his property ...  what did that floating ark smell like?  

If there was an ark to be built today - who would God find to build it.  How did Noah have the courage to just jump right in and do what God asked.  Noah - build an ark.  Okay God

At one point, God decreases the number of years for people to live, to 120.  Interesting.  But even more so that Noah was 500 years old when he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.  I. could. not. even. imagine!  I am tired enough at 64, without giving birth to children.  But 500 years old?   With years like that - when would someone say they were having a mid life crisis!! lol ...

NOW - chapter 6 and the word "giant Nephrites" and that they lived on earth and fathered children who became the heroes and famous warriors of ancient times" ... I think I need to do some more reading on this verse!!  HOWEVER the verse a couple verses later that talks about the LORD being sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth and that it broke his heart!!  WOW ...  and then came the flood!

There are so many questions - or so many ways that I can imagine when I read Scripture.  There are places to drop into the story and imagine ourselves and perhaps try to imagine our response.  Let's face it, most of us like to know what is ahead, and like to have the plan.  Too bad life just isn't so predictable.

This is day 2 of the reading plan and these stories although very familiar, continue to bring out a new thought or question or inspiration.  So, looking forward to tomorrow's reading.

Just a few thoughts on Genesis 4-7.   Are YOU reading through a plan?  Maybe you want to join.  It is always more fun when you can talk about the Scripture portion, and joining the group gives you the chance to do just that!!  Thanks Alexis Tjart for administrating the group!!

Stepping into 2023

 

I am at the tail end of the first day of 2023.  What will this year hold?  This morning while in church, we were asked to share if there were any verses that God gave to us, and to read them out loud from where we were standing.  And God gave me this verse:  

Isaiah 43:19  NIV

"See I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

I also love it in the New Living Translation

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Is this verse for Kilcona?  Is this verse for me?  Is this verse for both?  As I have thought of it, I believe it is for both our church, and for me personally.  And in some ways I was not surprised that God gave this to me again this morning as this is a verse He has brought to mind a few times since June.  I believe it is a verse of incredible hope for the time ahead!  Something new!  But also the words that He has already been at this, at the "new" that He making!  For me, this is so exciting.

Yesterday I spent some time writing in the last pages of 2022.  There could have been more I am sure.  In fact the last couple months have been sparse when it comes to journalled pages. But as I wrote yesterday, God brought to mind a conversation that I had with my friend Cathy while I was in Abbotsford for the 3 day silent retreat for women. Cathy asked me if I had built in times of rest and refreshing.  And in the way only Cathy can, with such quiet love and grace, she encouraged me to look at my day timer or calendar, and plan weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly times where I step out and rest, renew and refresh.

(SO I have begun to consider what those appointments look like, but I know it is important for me to put these times in)

Today in church, while my kids Josh and Leah spoke, Leah talked and asked about whether any of us were carrying on with resolutions or goals that we had made last year.  And she shared how they had some goals that were simple and straightforward.  It reminded me of something I had done for a full year and a half and then I accidentally missed the day, and that blew me out of the water as I stopped vs just getting up and carrying on with 1 missed day!  (WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?  you may ask?  Well November 1 of 2020 I had decided to begin to walk outside - minimum 3-5 times a week, for minimum 10 minutes.  And in that first year and a half, I walked through rain, shine, snow, freezing temps, ice and some drivers who passed so close to me that my hair blew in the wind of the vehicle!  But then I went to a wedding, got home late, went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night with the awful realization that I had MISSED walking ... and that was that.  I did not just dust myself off and carry on.  No sir eeee ... instead it gave me this weird permission to just be okay to NOT walk daily.  *UGH I hate that I succumbed to my crazy all or nothing attitude once again!  SO today, I began walking again.  Just 10 minutes barefoot in my blundstones.  But it was 10 minutes and it will just get better I believe!

Today was a day where many of my emotions were visible.  My heart beat with love as I scanned the congregation and looked at each one of my kids and grandkids.  We worship in the same place, members of the same congregation.  Today I watched as my kids Josh and Leah also spoke, giving their last sermon in their official role as interim pastors.  What joy to sit under the leadership and teaching of my children!  My heart is so thankful LORD.  You have been faithful to us, and so good.  

I took my flags to church today as I knew I needed to begin the year flagging in the time of worship.  LORD what do you want me to do with the flags?  You have spoken through someone to me with the words "there will be healing when you flag" although the person who spoke those words to me did not know if the healing was mine, or someone who say the flags being used.  You have also impressed on me a couple months ago, the same thing.  LORD give me courage, and opportunity, and may your healing come to those who you are talking about.

I wept during worship.  I wept while I prayed for some friends.  I wept while I shared prayer time at the end of the service.   God you know all about this weeping.  One of my old pastors, said he thought it was perhaps a spiritual language ... you know LORD that there are many tears that have rolled during prayer.  

I hugged and received hugs.  I was aware of oh so much love this morning.  My soul was full.

I sang.  I raised my hands.  I prayed.  I listened.  I also talked with God.

And I was so aware that this is the beginning of the year.  The start of 2023.  And while as per normal, I do not know what the year holds - I do know the ONE who holds it.

There feels like so much to unwrap, to talk with the LORD about. - the rhythms of rest that I have to built back into my day, and into my calendar.  I need to sit with the LORD and let him speak to me about so many things, I can hardly contain the excitement that is within me knowing that God has such incredible things in store for not just me, but for each one of us!!  LORD GOD - I give you this year ahead.  Help me to trust fully in you, and to experience more of you Holy Spirit - in me, in my family, in my life, in our church.  MORE.

I also need to talk with the LORD about the word he has given me for this year.  He actually spoke the word to me a couple weeks ago.  Was it the word?  I wondered.  And then he brought it back to me again the other day.  LORD would you unpack that word, and show me what it is you wish for me!

And the verse LORD, can you please also open up that verse to show me something that you have specifically.  While I only read vs 19, I am not sure why - because the first part is so important.

FORGET THE FORMER THINGS.  DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST!

O LORD help me to keep my eyes on you.  You are first and last.  You are with me and will never let me go.  You know everything about me.  You know!!  So help me to trust you with the unpacking of this verse, and the WORD for 2023, and with everything you want to make clear at the beginning of this year.

I give you the glory - the thanksgiving in advance for all you have done - are doing and will do.

Help me to remember and to recall.  To live with a grateful heart!  O JESUS I love you.  Holy Spirit do you work in this girl!! Do your work.

Amen