Hey Dad
I know that I am writing this for my own sake, as seriously, you are in heaven living your best life, but you know Dad, I just wanted to say a few things on this day, which in about ah hour will mark 28 full years since your heart exploded and you went to be with Jesus.
I miss you. You know Dad, in these past few years, I have really worked hard on many things to do with my life, my heart and soul. And also going into the growing up years, those lovely teen years, and the years that I was an adult, and you really let me be that adult, and encouraged me in my journey.
When I was little, you were the one that holds the warm fuzzy memories for me. Those times when I felt so loved and cherished, and held. I realize that the way you loved me, your baby girl (well for a few years anyhow I held that rank lol) but as I was saying I realize that the way you loved me is what helped me to see the love of my Heavenly Father. Thanks for that Dad. Some of the women I know have trouble with their fathers, and can not see the Father as a male version, but you loved me so well as my Dad, that you helped me to grow in my walk with Jesus.
I knew I screwed up a couple times - like when I denied smoking, but then you guys found out. Or when I snuck out to go somewhere that I had not asked permission on ... you know, those teen age things. But you still treated me with respect as your daughter. You had such amazing taste, and I will not ever forget the beautiful red midi winter coat you bought me, with dark fur on the collar. Or the palazzo pants, or the whole Easter outfit from shoes to hat - gloves to purse, dress and coat. You had such a sense of style and you purchased so many beautiful things for Mum too ... I guess I loved being on of your girls.
You showed me how a man CAN apologize and say he is sorry. You showed me how you lavished love o Mum for no reason, buying her flowers because you loved her. You took us out for birthdays and celebrations and we aate Chinese food at Shanghai as you conversed with the Chinese waiters that you had come to know.
There are many things, and most I have tucked away in my memories.
But the things that you taught me about following Jesus, loving the LORD with all your heart, serving the LORD, loving others..... I am glad that you taught me those things. I think I likely took that for granted for a lot of my life. Thank you for showing me how Jesus takes a person and changes them.
Dad, I won't forget that day. November 2nd. Three months from when you had gotten married. And in that time I felt like I got my dad back again. For a while there, I felt like you were someone else. I realized very quickly that second kick at love makes men (and perhaps women) kind of crazy. I was really glad for you Dad, that your life was going to be with someone again. I gave you my blessing because seriously why would I want to withhold it. You missed Mum so much. You had been married for almost 50 years (less than a month short) and then she passed away. So I really was glad that you had found love again. And that was all that counted I guess. And during those three months since your wedding, you and I had spent some time chatting. I love that we were always able to do that. I appreciated knowing that you were my encourager, and also you prayed for me. The last time we had spent time together, I was in a bit of a hard space and you knew it. I got in the car to drive you back to Winnipeg from Anola and before we left the garage you said, "Honey how are you doing..." Dad, you always knew where I was at.
That is why that night, we were literally blown out of the water. I had come to visit you in the afternoon. Ash and I. And then things began to happen ... And a couple hours later we called the ambulance and you headed to the hospital. You had no clue that when you left the house, it was the last time you would see it again. Within a couple hours ... you were gone.
28 years. And oh my goodness Dad, how I miss you. I miss hearing your voice on the phone, or your singing. I miss seeing your beautiful blue eyes that you passed on to us. And I also miss knowing that that day, I had no one praying for me every night as you went to sleep. I miss not being able to talk to you about hearing God's call to ministry and all that those years held. I miss our car rides together. You always let me drive which I was glad about because Dad, sometimes your driving scared me lol.
We all miss you. So very much. 76 was too young. But obviously God knew it was time.
So Dad, thank you for being my dad. For being the one who just taught me so much.
I loved you then and love you still now. Till Heaven Dad ... till heaven.
with love,
Joy