thoughts, musings & the odd butterfly along the journey

30 things about my Son

2012-01-22T01:13:00.000-06:00

Happy 30th Birthday to my Son

Joshua Gerald

Saturday, January 21st, 2012 ~ a celebration!! 30 years ago today, I gave birth to our firstborn, our Son, Joshua Gerald Klassen Klassen! (yes, Klassen Klassen!) (More about that in a minute). Today we spent time together as a family. As we have done in the past two years we get requests from the "Birthday" child and then go ahead and make the meal, and celebrate at Josh and Leah's. Since they are the ones with the children so far, it makes sense to do the birthdays there so that it is easier all around for the children.

So today we celebrated Josh's 30th birthday! THIRTY. I can hardly believe we have a child who is now 30 since it seems like we aren't much older! Hmm guess we are!

Joshua said today, that he wants to make "30" the best year of his life. I remember 30 too. It was not a bad thing at all, in fact, it was just the beginning of the rest of our lives! And, it really has gotten better and better. So since he wants to make "30" his best year, I want to write 30 things about my firstborn today on his birthday.

Joshua Gerald Klassen Klassen is his name on his birth certificate. We realized this just a few years ago when going to get a passport. Klassen Klassen? What the heck? Well, as it seems, in my excitement to fill out the information on the birth papers, I wrote his WHOLE name on the first line: Joshua Gerald Klassen. And then on the SURNAME line, I put Klassen. Thus they took it to read Joshua Gerald Klassen Klassen. I told Josh that I would pay to get it changed, and well, he liked that it was different, so nothing has been done about it. (although I think on his passport there is just one Klassen after all!)
We prayed for a boy first. We would have been thrilled with boy or girl (and I didn't have an ultrasound so we did not know anything ahead of time) I just wanted a boy first, so that the next one would have a "big brother" . We only had one name picked out. A boy's name. There was NO girls name picked just in case. I had a strong sense that we were having a boy, and well - God gave us the desire of our hearts with a boy born first!
Josh is named after his Poppa Thomas (my dad, Gerald). My dad was so thrilled.
At birth, Josh was 7 lbs 11 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. Jay and Roger were both very similar to their daddy's birth stats.
Josh shared the nursery at Concordia with a friend that he met in grade 3. Actually Bryan's mom and I shared the same hospital room, but only realized it when we met while in a mom's prayer group. Josh and Bryan felt this unique friendship after finding that out. (Bryan was taken to Heaven at the young age of 16, in 1998)
My dad's sister had a dream about Josh being born. I am pretty sure in the dream she also knew his name. Interesting.
From the beginning, my dad told me that God was going to do great things through Joshua. My dad was right!
Josh started Sunday School when he was 2 1/2, and he cried even though he liked to go.
Josh only spent 1 hour in the baby nursery at church. It was not a great experience, he cried alot and they did not come and get me. I felt so bad! Thus, I never tried out the nursery again!
Josh asked Jesus to be his personal Saviour at the age of 5, and one time had his cousin in the closet and explaining that he needed Jesus too. Josh does not take this aggressive approach, but instead "lives" what he believes and is able to provide answers to those who ask him about Jesus. I have learned alot from watching Josh grow in his faith.
For the first 13 years of life, Josh was the only boy on my Thomas side. He and Poppa had a very unique relationship. When Josh was thirteen, his only other male cousin Daniel, was born.
Josh played hockey (Hazelridge); football (Eastside Eagles) (I think that is what they were called); took Tai Kwan Do. He also was the mascot for a while at MBCI. I especially loved watching him play hockey. He also became very good at being an "illusionist" ... ask him to do a few tricks for you!
Josh loved his sister Ashley, who was born when he was just over 3 years old. He has always looked out for her, and has been the "big brother" I had prayed for her.
Josh grew up at Faith Bible Camp (which his Poppa started after God gave him the vision for Children's Camps). The first year he didn't really want to go, but Poppa and Granny promised to bring him treats for him and his cabin (and so did Mom!!) This is where he later worked, counselled, co-directed and met the love of his life Leah!
Still unable to reach the stirrups - Josh was an avid horseback rider, and loved to ride KING who we bought from Bird's Hill stables.
Josh tried hard to teach Nikki how to pull a sled! However Nikki was not the least bit interested, and on the first test run, went directly into her doghouse with the sled pulled right up to the opening!
Josh has always been an entrepreneur, and often convinced me to help out (paying for some of the supplies, and at times even dropping off things on the route for him). His first t-shirts were KTS which stood for Kiss the Sky. He had Grandma making him knit toques with KTS on them, crocheting hacky sacks, and later helping him make fleece boxer shorts with mesh for breathability!!) Grandma let him keep all the money.
Josh played trumpet like his Dad ... but band was short-lived.
Josh graduated from Brandon Fire College in 2002 at the age of 20 and got hired with the city of Winnipeg in fall. An answer to prayer! (one of many) Not many people have gotten hired at such a young age of 20.
Josh fell in love with Leah! The best friend and wife he could ever have! We love her!
Josh's first trip to the hospital was when he was about 2 and a half or so. He was so excited to see me arrive at Granny and Poppa's and took one run around the living room and dining room, only to fall and hit the little rocking chair. We took him to Concordia where he got his first stitches in the top of his forehead.
When Josh tells you something funny, his eyes water. He has always been able to make us laugh! At one point he was going to write a book, but instead used some of the chapters he had written for some stand up comedy. I still think he could write that book!
At the age of 5, for kindergarten, they had "career" day and each child had to dress up in however they wanted, to represent what they wanted to be when they were older. Their kindergarten teacher filmed them, since they were the class of 2000. She called them all together and they watched the film. Josh wanted to be like his Dad, a firefighter. I made the costume. He also wanted to be (later in life he added these) a Youth Pastor and the Prime Minister of Canada. He did part-time Youth work with Leah. However, he has never run for PM!
Josh and I often went for mom-son lunches. If there were times when I knew he was having a bad day, or something was up, then I would pick him up from school and take him for lunch. I am glad for the chance to still eat lunch or drink coffee with him only from time to time. There is a very unique mom-son relationship I figure.
Josh and his dad are like two peas in a pod! Every kid wants to hear that right? I watch them walk together, and they are so similar! Alvin has the greatest respect for all that Josh has done and learned to do, and loves working alongside of him!
Josh is very skilled at plumbing, and also tiling, and well.. you name it, he can do it. His dad says there is really nothing that Josh can't do!
Joshua is a friend to all. He looks out for the "least of these". One time he came home and told me that he had given his brand new down jacket plus some pocket change to a guy who was begging. Another time, he gave his sweater (I think it was one that his grandma had knit) to a person who needed one. He looks out for all, and has a heart that is compassionate, loving and giving.
Joshua is not prone to gossiping. I really admire this in my son.
Joshua loves fully. I have felt his love and I am so proud to call him my son. I have been blessed by him. When he was in Brandon at Fire College, I missed him alot. It was his first experience living away from home, and on his own. One day I got a Mother's Day card in the mail. I think it was April. In it he said that he realized it was not Mother's Day yet, but that he saw the card and wanted to send it to me, and tell me how much he loved and appreciated me as a mom. I wept. You see I did know that, but it was another thing to see the words written in a card for me! And to think he took the time to send it in the mail! Totally blessed!
God gave me a son 30 years ago. We have walked through alot together and I admire the man of God that he has become. I have learned and continue to learn alot from him. I watch him as he loves his sons, and I see that he will have a wonderful relationship with them too. I watch as he loves his wife Leah, and I am so thankful.

I am blessed! My Son, you are a gift to me. There is way more NOT said, than SAID. Way more than 30 things. These are not in any specific order either, just as some memories came! Robert Munsch says it best in his story:

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be!

love always,

Mom xo

Wednesday with Everett and Roger

2012-01-19T12:05:00.000-06:00

Today was a full day ~ start to finish. We spent the day with our 2 year old Sweetness ~ Everett. There were so many things about today that makes me smile! Like for instance, the way he runs to the door, saying "Granny! Poppa!" There is just pure joy written all over his face! I am sure that he also greets his Grandma and Grandpa this way too! Absolutely heartwarming for any grandparent!

Everett quickly spied the watermelon that I had brought for him in a clear cup! "Melon?" he asked. "Yes, I brought it for you!" He quickly ate it up!

We played upstairs for a while. He has a little kitchen, and gave Poppa and I "sausages" to eat. (We all pretended to eat the same ones). Then we went downstairs to play with the farm. Out of all the gifts we have chosen for him, I think the farm is the most played with toy. It is so much fun watching him play. And talking as he plays. When I was in daycare, I remember observing the different children and the stages of play that developed as they grew. Our Everett never ceases to amaze me! He just loves life! I am glad that he is still so small and doesn't yet know how hard life can be at times. Right now, the hardest thing is when he is done his "One Show" and can't watch another show on tv. Or when we are done the book and now it is time for bedtime!

He was pretty excited yesterday. Of course that makes sense. His world has already changed. His mommy isn't home right now, and he also knows there is a "baby wodge-er" and well, that alone is enough to throw his little world off kilter a little.

We went to the hospital yesterday and he was so happy to be there.

He was also so happy to see the new ball that his brother gave him :) and to check out the ice maker when he went with daddy to get some ice for mommy. Oh, and the bed. When Leah got up, he quickly climbed in, and proceeded to get a little ride ~ which he loved! (see the video)

Later we went back home, watched the "one show" that he was told he could watch (Curious George and the boats) and then we had supper, played, had a bath, and then quickly got into the bedtime routine ... jammies, teeth brushing, sing together and pray and then tuck in. Everett was tired! He played hard in the bathtub.

Poppa read his his book, and then we went into the bedroom. He didn't want to sit and pray, but got immediately under the covers. He also said no when I asked if we should sing. However, after I prayed, he said "sing" and we sang the song "I Love You Lord and I Lift my Voice" We actually sang it three times (mainly because I just love to hear his little voice singing!)
Then it was kisses good-night and we shut the light off and shut his door. And he was fast asleep. He had embraced life to the fullest yesterday. He had a couple hard moments, but when I think about it - he is processing alot of stuff for a little 2 year old. So a couple hard moments, heck - that is nothing!
(I need to learn that lesson for myself!)

I am so glad to have the blessing of being a granny to my sweet grandsons. It is truly a gift from God. I always want to watch with eyes wide open, as I see the gift of life through their eyes. I want to continue to revel in watching their glee from their perspective and vantage point! I want to continue to marvel at how quickly they learn, how quickly they grow and how readily they love! (of course, watching this will come with our little Roger since he is only 2 days old!) I am so thankful for our 3 grandsons, and thank God for the blessing.

Oh and one more thing! Today I did get a picture of me with my newest Grandson Roger! The Sweetness just keeps going!

Welcome to the World Little One: Roger Thomas Klassen

2012-01-17T22:58:00.000-06:00

Announcing the arrival of our precious 3rd Grandson:

Roger Thomas Klassen

What can I say ... Poppa is as proud as punch of this little bundle!

Auntie is pretty happy too!

He has the sweetest little face!

God has blessed Josh and Leah with 3 boys:

Jay Benjamin who is in Heaven

Everett John who just turned 2 and

Little Roger Thomas - born today!

I love this picture ... with Roger in the forefront and

Leah watching from the back!

Just one more of Poppa and Roger

I was there too - just didn't get any pics of me and Roger on my camera!

We will have to remedy that one tomorrow!

To our sweet little Grandson Roger Thomas

Sweet boy

how our hearts overflow with joy

again

and again

and today again!

we have waited for you little one

we have dreamed

we have imagined

we have prayed

and prayed

Sweet One

we waited to hear of your birth

and then delighted when we got to hold you for the first time'

and view your little face

your little rosebud lips

your sweet little shoulders

your little ears

your fingers and toes

your belly button

you are fearfully and wonderfully made

thank you Lord for our little Sweet One

You have made our joy overflow

And we can only imagine the fun you and your big brother will have

We imagine the sight of you two

walking arm in arm

helping Mommy and Daddy

or even riding over to Poppa and Granny's

Sweet One

You are not yet a day old

And we don't want to miss a moment

but instead to savour it all

to take the things we see

the things we hear

the things we imagine

the things we pray about

the things that make YOU the special little guy that you are

we will take those things

store them away

treasure them in our hearts

and enjoy each moment of each day

watching you grow

We love you little One

You and your brothers have brought us much joy

We promise that we will be here for you

to pray

to hold

to love

to hug

to kiss

to listen

to wipe tears

and bandage booboos if needed

We are your Granny and Poppa

and we love you so much.

Welcome to the World Sweet Roger Thomas Klassen

We are so glad

that you

have arrived

love
Granny & Poppa
xo
xo
xo

(we love you to the moon and back!)

transformation

2012-01-15T21:22:00.000-06:00

I have thought about transformation lately. Sometimes I am even unaware of transformation that is happening in me. At other times I wish transformation would happen overnight and get easily and quickly disillusioned with the slow progress. (transformation should be measureable somehow shouldn't it?)

I have sat with a friend who raises monarch butterflies and saw the beautiful "chrysalis" stage. If you have never seen the green chrysalis with the thin gold line around it, you have to look into that! (our God is such an amazing God, and the detail He puts into transformation is amazing!)

Today Pastor Dave delivered his part 1 sermon on Transformation (can hardly wait for next Sunday) and he talked about how "true transformation needs something greater than ourselves and our "will" to change. Oh don't I understand that one! He also asked those of us who have made resolutions and already broke them, to raise our hands. Not sure anyone did!! But really, resolutions are about things we want to do/change in our lives, and I will speak for myself ~ it really is about my will!! WHICH IS WHY AT THIS POINT I AM ALREADY FRUSTRATED WITH FALLING OFF THE WAGON so to speak, in regards to the resolution I may have made on Jan. 1. (then again, maybe I didn't write it down, so maybe it didn't count!)

I will be honest. And it will be no surprise to anyone who knows me. MOST OF MY LIFE I have struggled with weight. Actually TOO MUCH WEIGHT. I have done all kinds of things to bring about transformation in that department. I have read (and bought more books than I have read) on weight loss. I have paid more money than I care to think about trying to find the right program for me and my weight loss. (In fact I have often joked that I likely own Weight Watchers or have a big share in the company). I have wept over the dilemma. I have made rules. I have used systems where I checked off days exercised. I have ....(on and on and on!)

But today it made sense. Pastor Dave referenced one of my favorite passages in Romans.

Romans 7:15-25

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power^[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

He talked about how we desire to do better ~ or be more ~ and yet how we continue to return to the very thing(s) that we don't want to return to! He talked about how we "assert our will and draw on ourselves" to do the transformation but it just doesn't work! He talked about how e were made by God to have our BODY ~ SOUL ~ MIND working together in harmony.

Pastor Dave said that "true transformation needs something greater than yourself. " Oh don't I know that one. I KNOW how much i need the Lord. On the 26th of this month it will be 46 years since I knelt by my bed and asked Jesus to forgive my sin and be my personal Saviour. I have walked with Him for a very long time. I know that I have experienced great transformation in areas of my life. I know that.

I know that I need God in a big way in my life, but why why WHY in the area of weight, is the transformation NOT happening. After all, haven't I given it to Him so that it could happen? Why can't I experience transformation out of that big chubby cocoon stage into the transformed butterfly.

Side Note: In the summer of '76 I think it was, someone sent me (in the mail) a cute little Hallmark book titled The Fable of Fat Fanny. Fat Fanny was a caterpillar that ate herself into a cocoon frenzy. All of Fat Fanny's worm friends laughed at her and called her names. She ate herself through life, and then went and spun her cocoon only to emerge as a beautiful butterfly that took the breath away from all those who witnessed her transformation! I am not sure why the sender sent me this cute (NOT) little Hallmark card/book, perhaps it was because they wanted to encourage me, or if there was some other hidden meaning in the Fable, but I think I may still be dealing with some scar tissue over that one!

Now Dave was not talking about my weight or anyone else's this morning. He was talking about transformation. It just happened that I had been having a little chat with Alvin this morning about my journey in making some changes to do with my health (wanting to be around for a long time yet) and then we get to the pews and the sermon was very relevant to me (and most likely the other few hundred in attendance this morning). Paul, in Romans really says it the way I have often paraphrased. "I always seem to be doing the things I do not want to be doing .... and the things I want to do - I keep screwing up on" .

It clicked again this morning. I. CAN. NOT. DO. IT. IN. MY. OWN. WILL. It is all about letting HIM transform ME!!! It is not all about what I want to do - need to do - it is about allowing God to make the transformation and allowing Him to change me in the process. I guess I am more stubborn than I will admit. For some reason I keep thinking it is ME that does it .. obviously which is why in 29 years I have not tasted success.

Okay, I am rambling again. What else is new! Bottom Line: I do not want to be a slave to sin. My stronghold with food is a spiritual struggle that I need to give to the Lord many times throughout the day! True Transformation is greater than what I can do for me ... it is all about needing something greater than myself to have the transformation! That something/someone greater is Jesus.

Pastor Dave encouraged us to "allow God to invade our heart" and to focus on Him (Jesus Christ) and to will that God would do the transformation that we are unable to do on our own. (feeling a weight lift) (sorry, a play on words!) And in the end he encouraged us to do something that I had decided to do anyhow. That being to memorize Scripture which will help us to keep Jesus as our focus.

So, this is a long blog post, but it was such a freeing sermon that I needed this morning. Timely in regards to the discussion my husband and I had on the way into the city. Interesting how God does those things! Looking forward to the transformation! The cocoon is getting way too tight! (insert smile here)

thanks for listening,
~~Fat Fanny~~
Joy :)

the First of 66 Love Letters

2012-01-12T13:58:00.001-06:00

I am a lover of books by Dr. Crabb. Shortly after I was taught in his School of Spiritual Direction Class 33, he came out with the book he wrote called 66 Love Letters. He refers to each book of the Bible as a Love Letter that God has written to us. I have given this book to my kids, and bought one for myself, but I will admit, it got mixed in with my "books to read" pile and although I began it, did not get much farther than the opening intro chapter. SO I decided this is the time to read through the WORD start to finish, and to read through the book start to finish, allowing Dr. Crabb to be my commentary along the way.
Thus I began the other day, with the beginning - GENESIS. I have read through this before, and often we wonder what we will glean afresh from it, but that is just how God is through the Bible ... he often "opens the eyes of my heart" and allows me each time to learn something new!

I will admit that the first two verses of Genesis however, always speaks to me! That morning I read it from THE MESSAGE which is the translation I am going to use with 66 Love Letters. I love how it is written:

Genesis 1:1-2

The Message (MSG)

^1-2First this: God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss.

Genesis 1:1-2

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.^[a] ²The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.

In other translations such as NIV and New Living Translation which I use the most, it describes the HOLY SPIRIT as "hovering" . Hmmm... you see right in the very beginning the Holy Spirit is mentioned as being present! Hovering. Brooding.

Growing up I will admit that I found any mention of the Holy Spirit rather scary. The Holy Spirit was always referred to in my church as the "Holy Ghost" which when I think of it, would scare any little child! I can't say that I had much teaching on the Holy Spirit other than I knew the Holy Spirit was one of the three parts of GOD as the Trinity. (Father ~ Son ~ Holy Spirit)

I became very interested in learning more about the Holy Spirit when I was in my 30's. I guess part of it was the charismatic movement that was happening in many churches. I had a couple friends who had an experience with the Holy Spirit and no one could tell me that the change in them was not real as a result! I know that I put up a wall toward one friend when she talked about this ... after all "those things didn't happen today the way they did in the New Testament days!" Hmmm.... I am so sorry about that "defence" I put up. All the time, my interest was piqued more and more.

I think that was when I began searching Scripture. I also began asking the Lord for a revelation of himself in my life ... for a strong presence that was tangible. It was around this time that I heard God speak audibly. That was an encounter! And, I found as I hungered and thirsted more after him, the Holy Spirit within me became alive more than I ever knew before. I started to do more waiting on him... more listening ... and as a result heard him speak more and more often.

The Holy Spirit hovered. The Holy Spirit "brooded like a bird above the watery abyss". The Holy Spirit was there in the beginning just as he lives within me now and will be for eternity. Hovering.

I checked some online definitions for both hover and brooding. And really, the bottom line is that hovering means you are staying in one place, standing over someone or something and watching all that is happening. Bottom line for brooding is being in serious, deep and persistent thought or meditation on something.

In some cases these words have had a negative connotation as in "quit being a mom who hovers over your children" or when you tell someone to "quit brooding" because we think it isn't a nice thing to do! But in the case of the Holy Spirit - to me it brings peace and comfort and reassurance that HE IS PRESENT even if we can not see him hover, or brood.

Personally speaking, I struggled with moving ahead in my walk with God because of the fact that I really was not taught about him (limited) in my first 20 years of life (although yes, I knew the HS was a real part of the trinity. Period) At one point I wrestled with why did I need to know more. Why did I want to know more. Why did I want to experience the HS in a powerful way? Was this right or wrong? Was it necessary?) To me, it was and it is. Period.

I am thankful that the Holy Spirit was there hovering and brooding above the waters. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit is the part of the Trinity that takes up presence within me. I am thankful that when Jesus left to return to Heaven that He told the disciples to wait for the promised gift - the Holy Spirit to come as comforter!! Oh Jesus thank you for that promise. O Holy Spirit, thank you for living within, for your guidance, and for your presence in my life! Help me never to quench you!

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth ... and the Spirit of God hovered...

also posted on The Journey on

www.zephaniah3verse17.blogspot.com

finally a "resolution" for 2012

2012-01-07T00:04:00.002-06:00

For this year - there ARE some things that I want to do ... or resolve to do ... or set as goals. (whatever word you want to use is fine by me.) This post is going to be short - mainly because it is something I have been thinking of, but only for the past little while, and I am trying to figure out how to do the things I desire. What are they?

Well, this year I resolve to be ME .. to live a life of integrity, tranquility, transparency and authenticity.

Big words. Bottom line - I want to live life fully with Jesus as my Lord, and live so that others will see Jesus through my eyes, through my words, and through the way I live my life. I want to forgive fully and finally those who hurt me deeply. I want to do what I do - with excellence, as a testimony to the Lord. I want to love those who are unlovable and to give grace generously especially since the Lord did that for me! I want to love fully. I want to be aware of the God-moments in my life. I want to take less for granted and become more thankful! I want to include God in the daily grind ... and not just when things get hard, or stressful. Really I just want to live fully!

I want to sing more... laugh more ... listen more ... talk less. I want to reach out and be helpful ... to sense when to pray with and for someone. I want to swing with my grandson and listen to him talk. I want to hold my new grand baby and smell their sweet baby skin. I want to enjoy time with family and friends around my table or over a good cup of coffee at Mountain Bean. I want to read through the Bible (finally) and also to journal every day (in some form or another) This is the year I finally want to write and finish my story. I want to eat better, and move (aka exercise) more. I want to embrace life an live each day as if it is my last!

I want to be ME!!

With God's help -

I want to be authentically JOY.

and through it all - to bring praise to the Lord!

also posted at www.zephaniah3verse17.blogspot.com

Reflecting back to Sunday's Sermon: Seizing God's Moment for You

2012-01-05T09:38:00.003-06:00

I am a note taker. Always have been - likely always will be. Taking notes helps me to focus. It also helps me to remember. And, it is something that helps me to reflect! Last Sunday, as I listened to Delbert's sermon, it was no different. I took notes.

Of course, being January 1st had something to do with my "reflection" backwards. I don't think I am at all unlike most of the population that looks back in order to help look ahead. We all know that January does bring new chances, new starts (just posted about that on my other blog zephaniah3verse17.blogspot.com ) There is just something special about a fresh start don't you think?

Delbert talked about looking at our past year and asking "what moment last year was a transcendental moment in my life?" and "What if you entrusted your life completely to God?"

He said "too often we just want God to "tickle" us and then we walk away with nothing changed."
hmmmm..... yes. He invited us to "seize the diving moment" and said that "most important moments rarely come at the most opportune time!" (oh so true)
He talked about how God has given us the opportunity to make choices. To choose. And then suggested that there may be three markers in making choices:
1) Choose to live and "other-centered" life. In Jeremiah 29:4-7 it talks about doing some things very intentionally! He talked about how sometimes we may have some fear but asked "Can God choose your greatest fear or weakness to be an opening to your greatest moment?"

2) Choose to live as a "broken" person. 1 Peter 5:6 He then talked about UNbroken people vs Broken People. Oh, I know a bit about being a broken person. (I actually have this button on my coat. see pic)

a little blurry, but you can see it here

3) Choose to pray. Jer 29:7

I can choose. God gave me the free will to make choices! Oh Lord, today and all the tomorrows of this year, help me to make the best choices that will reflect YOU and bring you praise, honor and glory!

2012 ~ welcome January!

2012-01-02T21:50:00.001-06:00

It is January. A time to make changes. A time to make "resolutions" or "goals". A time to begin using a new day-timer. A time to clean up Christmas stuff and get on with routine. Days are getting a little longer with each sunrise and sunset. Somehow the turning over into a new year just feels right. It just feels like a clean slate ... a fresh start... or a new chance to make changes. I don't know about you, but I actually "feel" more optimistic, more promise, more excitement!

I look ahead to this next year and wonder exactly what it will hold. As we were driving to Eastview yesterday morning, I was sharing with Alvin that I had such a strong peace about the year ahead, and a strong overwhelming sense of God's presence in my life. It feels like I am constantly sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what God is going to do!

Today I had the pleasure of sitting and talking with Kristin. She wanted to spend some time with me and to hear more about what God is doing in my life. Before she came, I was reading some stuff from the past, from some journal entries ... and I came across the entry from my journal 11 years ago! I read it out loud to Ashley. It was written by Betty Stam who had been a China Inland Missionary. This quote became my prayer to the Lord: “Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my time, my all, utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. Fill me, and see me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt. Send me where Thou wilt. Work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, now and forever.”
Sometimes we say things, sometimes we think them to ourselves, and sometimes we write them, not understanding the seriousness of the words. Did I really mean this? At the time? For sure. In hindsight, I realize God really took me at my word (not sure He does that, but you get what I am trying to say) It made me realize what I HAD really said ... "work out thy whole will in my life, at any cost, now and forever." This part actually made me stop in my tracks when I read it today, and thought backwards over my life. Work out Thy whole will ... at any cost ... hmmmm.

So this year ahead, I have not yet committed myself to any resolutions. Believe me there SHOULD be a number of them to write down if I chose to! I do want to make some changes. Changes in my spiritual walk with Jesus (in my devotional life, in my QT with Him) Changes in my physical life (perhaps THIS will be the year I lose that darn weight that is affecting my life!) Changes ... all over, I can improve many things about me!! (lol) Is it all about the "term" that we use?? (resolutions? goals?) I don't want to do anything out of legalism ... but instead want to live all out for Jesus and do what brings the glory to Him. Lord give me strength.

The one things I do know that I want to do is fall more and more in love with Jesus! I want that love to be reflected in my love for my sweet man Alvin, and for my children: Josh and Leah, Ashley and Michael, and for my sweet grandchildren: our Jay in heaven with Jesus, our Sweet Everett who is just into the wonderful age we call the 2's, and for our little Sweet Grandbaby to come, being born by c-section in two weeks (January 17th!!)

O Lord, thank you for this new year. Thank you for the fresh start. Thank you for walking us through the past year(s). We give you the honor and the praise for all you have done and ask you to continue to give us the strength to be used of you. Change us Lord. Use us. Thank you for your blessings! I love you Jesus!! Amen.

My daughter took some pictures of Alvin and I - I especially love the one that says "blessed" ... this is how we feel! Take a look at her photography blog. She is talented with a camera!
http://photographybyashleymarie.blogspot.com/2012/01/blessed-2-of-my-favourite-klassens.html

Christmas reflections ... leading up to the end of 2011

2011-12-29T21:27:00.004-06:00

Christmas has come and gone. My little 3 foot tree still shines brightly. This is the second year in a row that we used the little tree that we had given to Mom K when she moved into her apartment. You see, this is the THIRD place we have lived between moving from Anola July 2010 till now, December 2011. I have been "temporarily housed" for 17 months. Honestly, we did not think it would ever be this long, but we are dealing with it :)

Our tree decorations, house decorations, and tree stand are all stored in our semi trailer on site here. Not sure where they are in the stuff, but it is in there. I put up some garland that I bought, with a couple strands of little lights ... to get in the Christmas mood since Alvin was jokingly accusing me of being a Grinch about decorating! (gotta love that man!)

I wanted so badly to enjoy the season this year. And I believe we did ... more than normal. I had done a fair bit of my shopping on line - so that took some stress away. I had made a wish list (few posts back) and there are still many things on the list that I don't know if I will get done before January 1st. Some may have to carry over to next year's Christmas.

We celebrated with our kids - in our "traditional" Christmas Eve style ... got together at Josh and Leah's - ordered in Chinese Food and played cards and just hung out for the evening. We got to spend some time with Ev - and well, that is simply the best!! Before we went to their place - Alvin and I went to the first of 3 Christmas Eve services at Eastview. At the end, anyone wishing to join the choir for the Hallelujah Chorus, was invited to come up. Alvin and I went. That song simply gives me goosebumps!!

Christmas Day - our kids were spending time with their other side of the family (Hayes and Thiessen's) and so Alvin and I went out to the Lake and spent Christmas Lunch at my sisters, with many of my Thomas side. It was relaxing and fun, although we missed those that were not there. We did not consume as many mashed potatoes as normally since my "little" brother Tim, and Jody and niece Amanda were in Hawaii. The day was so beautiful, and above normal temps.

The kids, Everett and Alvin and I had our "Christmas" on Boxing Day. We began with waffles - and then gifts - then later we went to Josh and Leah's after Ev's nap - and spent time walking and playing in the snow at the park. And then back to decorate a gingerbread house (Ev licked a few candies before putting them in place!) and then supper, and more play time, and then after Ev went to bed we hung out in the downstairs and watched a Christmas movie together.

Our Christmas was relaxing and just so good. It was quite something to see Everett enjoying Christmas from his 2 year old view!

One thing that we also included on Christmas Day, was a trip to take some flowers to Sunnyside Cemetery. We didn't feel like we HAD to ... but we WANTED to. You see, our firstborn Grandson would have really been enjoying Christmas here with us - as he would be 3 and a half. So often I see kids and size them up, and realize how big our little Jay would have been and the things he would be doing! What a great pair of buddies Jay an Everett would have been, We parked the car, and I grabbed the flowers from the backseat. We walked to the little headstone, and I laid them down. I know that our grandson is in Heaven - and honestly, he doesn't care if I lay flowers. But, every celebration, every milestone - Jay Benjamin is just so much a part of my heart.

I stood there and wept. All of a sudden, they just flowed. Alvin put his arm around me and hugged me. I just miss our little boy so much. We can only wonder what he would have been like, or how much he and Everett would be alike ~ or maybe not. Only God knows that really.

I also realize that Jay is spending his eternity now already, with Jesus, who was the baby that came to the manger, and the Saviour that died on the cross for our sin, and the one who rose again three days later. I sometimes just dream about heaven - dream about what Jay is doing and what my parents are doing. Reading the book HEAVEN IS FOR REAL was such a good thing for me. It has been suggested to me that I have not "worked through" my grief yet because I still talk about our little Jay. WORKED THROUGH??? Only those working IN their grief knows that you never get THROUGH it .. but that the journey changes you and also changes with time, but you are never "over" it or "through" it ... as if grief only hits for a period of time and then voila! it is gone!! (sorry, maybe I am sounding a little abrupt here) My grief/Our grief journey WILL change with the years ... but it will always be "our" journey and we won't be THROUGH it till we get to kiss our sweet boy in Heaven when we go there! THEN we will be THROUGH it!

It was beautiful at Sunnyside. Springlike weather. Not much snow. And so peaceful. I am thankful that we were able to stop their before heading to the lake.

Many emotions have made up my season of Christmas. Music has moved me. Movies have made me laugh. Scripture has challenged me. My grandson Everett has brought so much joy into our Christmas. We have enjoyed this season ... and have also enjoyed reflecting in this post. We have hugged friends, laughed with family and friends, talked over coffee and plum pudding, wrapped gifts and unwrapped gifts! But the greatest gift of all ... see the Scripture below!

Isaiah 9:6

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁶ For a child is born to us,
      a son is given to us.
   The government will rest on his shoulders.
      And he will be called:
   Wonderful Counselor,^[a] Mighty God,
      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

PS ... sorry, I think I rambled!!

PSS ... thank you to Betty, my sweet friend, who helped me realize something on my wish list last night, when she made me a nice hot cup of homemade hot chocolate with whipped cream!! Now I can check that one off too!!

lulling myself to sleep

2011-12-28T23:07:00.001-06:00

I am sitting here in our kids house. Alvin left to go home and since we are here in separate vehicles, I am waiting until our kids get home. Everett is fast asleep in his room. His "new" room as we call it. His "new" bed (no crib for a few weeks now). His room is pretty nice - his daddy and mommy have painted it, and made it special. It has a bit of a "wildlife" theme going on, complete with a little "bear head" mounted on the wall to complete the theme. Don't worry it is a child friendly bear head! They have given the room a fresh and new color and coat of paint, and then drawn some mountains, and trees and a few other little things. Everett has adapted quite well to his new room. And, he loves having it pitch black, and does not want anyone laying down beside him. He made that clear to them right away. So after the bedtime routine is finished (get his jammies on, brush and floss teeth, read, sing and pray) then he goes into his sleep sack and they kiss him good night and shut the door. It is a very easy routine, and has made babysitting very easy ever since he was very little! ANYHOW. Tonight I came and didn't see him because they were already in process of putting him down for his sleep and I didn't want to create any stir. Then they came out, and turned his baby monitor on.

It was very cute to listen to. Everett was busy talking. "Elmo. Elmo. Elmo. Me. Me. Auntie. Auntie. One Show. One Show. Daddy. Daddy. One show. Poppa. Tractor ..."
Those were a few of the things he said. It is cute actually because I realize he loves ALL of the things he said!! He talked a lot more ... interspersed with some other stuff - a sort of sing-song-talking or LULLING himself to sleep. Leah said he has been a real busy two year old - with many activities/family/friends/Christmas gatherings/later than normal nights/fuller than normal days and that he is tired, but is likely trying to wind down. Before too long, it was quiet, and has been since. Our little Sweetness is fast asleep. Lulled to sleep. I have to admit, his talking made me smile! I think I even heard my name mentioned!!

I looked up the definition of "lull" in the online free dictionary. Here is what it says:

ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms

Noun	1.	lull - a pause during which things are calm or activities are diminished; "there was never a letup in the noise" letup pause, suspension, intermission, interruption, break - a time interval during which there is a temporary cessation of something
	2.	lull - a period of calm weather; "there was a lull in the storm" quiet calmness - an absence of strong winds or rain
Verb	1.	lull - calm by deception; "Don't let yourself be lulled into a false state of security" calm, still, tranquilize, tranquillise, tranquillize, calm down, quiet, quieten, lull - make calm or still; "quiet the dragons of worry and fear"
	2.	lull - become quiet or less intensive; "the fighting lulled for a moment" calm down silence, still, hush, hush up, quieten, shut up - cause to be quiet or not talk; "Please silence the children in the church!"
	3.	lull - make calm or still; "quiet the dragons of worry and fear" calm, still, tranquilize, tranquillise, tranquillize, calm down,quiet, quieten lull - calm by deception; "Don't let yourself be lulled into a false state of security" compose - calm (someone, especially oneself); make quiet; "She had to compose herself before she could reply to this terrible insult" appease, assuage, conciliate, gentle, gruntle, lenify, mollify, pacify, placate - cause to be more favorably inclined; gain the good will of; "She managed to mollify the angry customer" reassure, assure - cause to feel sure; give reassurance to; "The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe" comfort, console, solace, soothe - give moral or emotional strength to

It has made me think - what would I be saying as I lulled myself to sleep? What would I say as I tried to make myself calm, or still! (oh boy, being still is sometimes the hardest thing to do!) Sometimes I hop into bed, and it takes a very long time for my mind to settle down enough so that I can fall asleep! It seems that is when the thoughts of the day are going a million miles an hour in a million directions! A few times I have finally just gotten up, turned on a light, found a paper and pencil and written down something so that I don't have to worry about forgetting int he morning.

Sometimes though, I have found that I have prayed myself to sleep. Praying for an old friend whose daughter has been going through some cancer ... praying for a friend who is trying to regain her strength after having cancer .... praying for my kids... praying for our ministry.... praying for myself ... praying for my friend's husband's job hunt .... praying for a friend with depression ... and on and on.
I find that more often than not, I fall asleep praying.

The other night I put on a beautiful CD that I bought at Eastview from an artist who used to be with the Beautiful Unique Girl tour through Family Life Network. (sorry I don't have her name here with me) but it is such a nice CD that she made especially for those who find it hard, like she does, to go to sleep.

I am going to try to begin to go to bed earlier so that hopefully I can wake up easier in the morning. I am not a morning person, but I really really want to be, and think that perhaps this is the answer. When we begin to do B&B/Retreat, I will for sure have to get up early!! Thinking I may have to wear some earplugs when Alvin is home, since we are in a temporary one-room set up and the TV would be a bit hard to fall asleep too (although I have no problem falling asleep on the couch!). I have a constant ringing in my ears too. CONSTANT! Have had this since June 2009. And when all is quiet - the ringing is even more noticeable!

Lulling myself to sleep! If there was a "baby monitor" put in beside me, with someone listening in - what would I be saying to lull myself to sleep? Perhaps you would tune into my dialogue with my Father! You may hear things like Thank You Lord! I am so glad that all I have to do is meditate on things of Him. To be still. To quiet myself! Actually to allow Him to lull me to sleep! Safe in His arms!! (will have to tell you about my dream some time!) I leave you with the verse in Philippians 4:8. As you go to sleep tonight, may you and I both think of these things as listed here - and may God grant you a sleep that is restful - refreshing, and renewing! Night my Friend. Good-Night!

Philippians 4:8

The Message (MSG)

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

updating my wish list

2011-12-27T17:48:00.000-06:00

So, today is December 27th. I have a wishlist for Christmas ... and I have added "and the week ending January 1st) onto the title. I just seemed to run out of time, and still consider this the Christmas Season.
If you scroll down you will see that all of the ones in BLACK are the things that have been done. Note that there are still many unmet wishes!! These are the things that are still in RED. Have to do something about this. Some of the things are "in process" while some are just well, still unmet and I have no plans for them yet.

My WiShLiSt for Christmas: (and the week ending January 1st!)

have a hot chocolate with whipping cream on it
find a new ornament with "Joy" written on it, and purchase it
get a photo taken of Alvin and I for our christmas card
write our Christmas letter and get it out BEFORE Christmas
buy someone I don't know, coffee or hot chocolate
watch a Christmas movie
go and tour the "lights" of the city with Alvin
have coffee with a friend at my favorite coffee shop
sing a christmas carol while driving in the car, and don't worry about who is watching
make something special for my co-workers - just because they bring me such joy
donate my time in some type of volunteer activity
put together a christmas hamper for someone who needs it
make a gingerbread house with my grandson Everett
go for a hike in Bird's Hill Park, and end with coffee at Pineridge Hollow OR a weiner roast
write a note and mail it by snailmail, to someone whom I have not seen or talked to in a long time
visit with someone older than me
take flowers to someone
make peppermint cookies
put a puzzle together with my husband (I bought one, and took it out of the box, does that count?)
go Christmas caroling with friends
get a pedicure with my daughters
make a snowman
knit something for someone
try a new recipe
spend some time "retreating" and use the time to read through the Christmas Story as recorded in the gospels

Our little "sweetness" turns 2

2011-12-18T00:12:00.001-06:00

an open letter to my Grandson Everett John, who turns 2 today!

Auntie Ashley took these pictures of Josh, Leah and Everett in fall, at McIvor Park

How can it be little one, that you have grown into a sweet little 2 year old that we see today
Gentle and sensitive
Kind and loving
Funny
Busy
Determined
Learning new things
Taking it all in as you run, and talk, and touch, and play
Oh sweetheart, how I love you so.

Two years ago
Can it really be two years?
that we waited together ~
anxious for your arrival
and rejoicing when we finally got to touch you,
to gaze at your sweet little face, to smell you, and to kiss your little cheeks.

How can it be 2 years already
~ that we have loved you
and you have loved us in your little two year old way
Every time we hear your little voice calling us - "Granny" "Poppa"
Or see the little twinkle in your eyes
Or get the sweet little kiss from you
Our hearts melt.
You have completely got us, hook, line and sinker
This Granny and Poppa, are absolutely smitten.
We were from the very first time we laid our eyes on you!

How can it be little one
that you are already 2.
What this year will hold, we can only imagine.
It will begin with you becoming a brother to your new little sibling
How will you adapt and adjust?
Time will tell, but somehow, we can imagine that you will want to help,
you will want to touch the soft baby cheeks
and you will want to plant those soft little kisses on your baby's cheeks too.

How can it be little one
That you have gone from the little one snoozing in the laundry basket
to the sweet toddler we celebrate today,
who loves to run, and slide
who loves to ride the old wooden horse
or the riding toys
who loves to swing
and climb
and read
and color
and play
and dance and twirl
and enjoy your friends.

Where has the time gone sweet one?
And how quickly it will continue to go.
Granny somehow doesn't want to miss any of this
I love to see you growing so strong, active and healthy.
And I am often taken back to the days when your daddy was your size
you are so like him
and yet so like your mommy
Only God can create you with all the best parts of both of them!

We love you so little One.
You will continue to grow
You will exercise your will
You will challenge your parents as only a two year old can!
You will learn
You will copy
You will live life with the gusto that a two year old has
And we will love you more
and more
and more with each day!
The way a Granny and Poppa can!

Happy Birthday to our little sweetheart!
Everett John Klassen
You are 2 today!
We celebrate YOU!!

Everett the day we celebrated his "half" birthday in June.

Everett "driving" the boat in summer, and watching as Poppa backed it down and into the water.

Ev and his Mommy

My Christmas WiShLiSt

2011-12-04T18:47:00.001-06:00

What do I wish for, for Christmas?
Not the things that you can buy, but the things that bring some joy.
Things that involve special moments, with special people during this special season!
Things that are perhaps a surprise, and other times planned.
Spontaneous, and yet intentional.

Perhaps this will be the year that Christmas comes without the "hurried, worn out, rushing about" feeling that ~~often~~ usually accompanies my Christmas season (unfortunately). SO... I am going to do something, and make a list of things I would love to do before Christmas, or part of this season! (I won't lie, I got this idea from my daughter and her friend!)

My WiShLiSt for Christmas:

have a hot chocolate with whipping cream on it
find a new ornament with "Joy" written on it, and purchase it
get a photo taken of Alvin and I for our christmas card
write our Christmas letter and get it out BEFORE Christmas
buy someone I don't know, coffee or hot chocolate
watch a Christmas movie
go and tour the "lights" of the city with Alvin
have coffee with a friend at my favorite coffee shop
sing a christmas carol while driving in the car, and don't worry about who is watching
make something special for my co-workers - just because they bring me such joy
donate my time in some type of volunteer activity
put together a christmas hamper for someone who needs it
make a gingerbread house with my grandson Everett
go for a hike in Bird's Hill Park, and end with coffee at Pineridge Hollow OR a weiner roast
write a note and mail it by snailmail, to someone whom I have not seen or talked to in a long time
visit with someone older than me
take flowers to someone
make peppermint cookies
put a puzzle together with my husband
go Christmas caroling with friends
get a pedicure with my daughters
make a snowman
knit something for someone
try a new recipe
spend some time "retreating" and use the time to read through the Christmas Story as recorded in the gospels

just something about the past three weeks...

2011-11-28T10:08:00.001-06:00

I have been off work for just over 3 weeks now, and return tomorrow to my "donor service rep" job with CBS. (which by the way - if you have ever THOUGHT of donating blood ~ now is the time!!)
I am feeling like I am starting a new job even though I have only been off work with my hurt leg! I love that I love my job! I love that I actually miss my co-workers. I do not take that for granted.

SO that being said, as I look back on the past few weeks, they have been a "gift" in a few ways ~ NOT THAT I WOULD CONSIDER THE FALL A GIFT ~ but the time to just sit and to just "be" was very timely. Timely but hard. It IS hard to sit and get other people to bring you stuff (especially the first week and a half when I was on crutches) Hard to walk with crutches and carry my cup of coffee. It forced me to become quite inventive!

Before my fall, I had poured out some of my thoughts to God one day - thoughts about struggling with lack of discipline in my life in all areas. In fact my journal entry from October 28th said this:
"Is my lack of journal entries an indication of my heart? O Lord ~
I think my struggle is a lack of discipline in my life. In all areas. I want to do, what I do not do. I am so pitiful at times. So pitiful!"

That morning as I wrote in my journal, I was waiting for something to be completed, so I had taken my journal because I knew I would have time. I wrote some more as I sat waiting.
"It is a time to sit and wait. Seems I sit and wait when I have to and yet Lord, I often don;t choose to willingly sit and wait!"

Ohhhh.... little did I know that less than 5 days later, as a result of my fall down the steps, I would be forced to "sit and wait" and make the best of it! But God knew that. And in retrospect, I am thankful for the time as I sat, waited, listened, journaled, read, had my QT with the Lord, worked on my online course in Soul Talk, and was just able to "be" which I totally understood even before this forced waiting time!

It was also a time for me to become very appreciative of all that my husband (my sweet man) and my kids do for me. And all that they mean to me.

But as I look back, I realize that as I become more mobile and as I become more involved in being able to work again, and as I become involved in the fullness that leads up to Christmas, I really do not want to lose what I learned during the time off. How easily I fall back into old patterns, into old routines and into old undisciplined life style.

I want to live fully in all ways but do not want to become consumed by being BUSY. Man, I hate that word! It is just NOT a good word! So I will become more intentional about my time and the best things to put into it. I don't want to miss a minute of the amazing moments that each day holds!
I want to develop some more discipline ... some routine (although even the word routine sounds kind of boring!) I want to embrace life and live a life of thankfulness. I want to make sure that I DO put "first things first!!"THESE are my thoughts today! O Lord, please help me because I can't do it alone!

we remember

2011-11-11T10:08:00.001-06:00

I want to live for peace. Peace in my life. Peace in the life of my family. Peace in the world.
My dad, who was a WWII veteran, and amputee because of it ~ spent the last years of his life as an advocate for peace. He spoke at many schools. One time Shaw Cable produced an interview that a student had done with my dad being interviewed. My dad went to war. He said it was the thing to do! Each young man wanted to fight for the King. In my dad's family - two of them went to war. Both returned, however they returned with many scars of war - some visible, most not.

My dad used to tell the kids that were spellbound ~ listening to his story ~ that we have to live in peace. That War should not happen again.

When my dad went to war, he left behind a mom and dad (and many siblings). His mom gave him something to take. It was a little black leather New Testament. She asked him if he would promise to read from it each day that he was away. My Grandma Thomas - I wished I had known her. A woman of great faith. A woman who embraced life to the fullest. A woman who loved her family so much. I can only imagine the hug that she gave to my dad - her son who was 3rd youngest in a family of 13. Or should I say I really can't imagine. I have had to send my son off to study in a different city - and that was hard enough. I have never, Thank God, had to send my son off to fight in a war.

My dad loved his mom. I know that just from the way I saw him talk about his mom. At this time, before he left, he promised her that he would read it. And, my dad said that he did. He read it every day - even if it meant reading it while sitting in the latrine. My dad also said that he carried this New Testament in the inside breast pocket of his uniform.

My grandmother's faith was strong. At the point where my dad went away to war, he knew about God but had never given his life personally to Jesus. He had never made that choice, for whatever reason. But, I have no doubt that he knew what it meant to accept Jesus forgiveness, and what it meant to make Jesus Lord of his life. He just did not see the need. After all, he was young - just barely a man - and he had his whole life ahead of him. He surely didn't need God at this point. I have no doubt that my grandma was on her knees in prayer ALOT while my dad was growing up and then away fighting a war.

Fighting was his choice. Fighting was his obligation. He went away strong, healthy, full of life and ready to do what needed to be done for the sake of freedom.

My dad was hurt in Italy. A country that is so full of romance these days. It held many memories for my dad. Memories that woke him up in a cold swet often during his nights. Memories that he kept hidden away for the most part - except for the obvious schrapnel wounds, and the very visible loss of a leg. My dad began to tell his story in written form, about the night a shell landed close to where he was in the trenches. He said that he laid there for a very very long time. In fact, so long that when his comrades found him - they thought that he was dead.

He said that as he laid there thinking that this was his end, his thoughts turned to his Mother. He remembered how she had asked him to read his bible daily. He said he laid there knowing that if he died, he would die without giving his heart to Jesus BUT he said that he hoped that his mom would think that perhaps he had, and that she would have some peace thinking of that. I found that really interesting. Interesting that there he was - faced with death (which he thought was just a matter of time) and yet he still did not choose Jesus as Lord. There was no deathbed conversion happening. That to me is very very interesting. It was not until my two sisters were born that my dad gave his life to Jesus Christ at a gospel meeting at St. James Gospel Chapel. And he lived all out for the Lord for the rest of his life - fully embracing the grace that he experienced, and the forgiveness of sin! Thank you Jesus!

As a little girl - I remember sitting on my dad's knee and taking my finger and touching his scars and asking him why he had them. His answers were always short - and I didn't ever ask him more. My mom told me how hard it was for him to learn how to walk again. She met him at Deer Lodge Hospital when he was flown home from the hospital in England. It sounded like love at first sight. My dad however had to learn how to adapt to life minus a leg. My dad had a girlfriend then who didn't have time for him any more when she realized life would not be the same. My dad had been a dancer, and a square dance caller ... how in the world would he dance now!! My mom told me how, when he began to use crutches, and then to get used to using an artificial leg - that he fell alot. She talked about how she would want to run and help him, but my dad did not want help. And he for sure did not want any pity!

As a little girl I remember when my mom would let me take out his medals and look at them. I remember asking about them and imagining them pinned to my dad's uniform. As a little girl I would look at the picture of my dad as a soldier, that my mom had on the dresser. Handsome as all get out!
The picture taken before his life and mind was filled with the horrors of war.

War - should never happen again.
We have to live in peace.
These were my dad's words.
In fact, my dad died November 2 - just mere days before he was scheduled to speak again at Sun Valley School.

We must never forget. NOT that we are glorifying war, but that we will remember not to take freedom of country for granted.

We must never forget the families that lost loved ones on the fields during WWI, WWII and all of the wars that have been fought, and are being fought right up to the present day - combat missions.
The tears that run down the faces of the mothers ...
The broken hearts.
The sacrifice of life - for "freedom"

O Lord, let there be peace on earth and please let it begin with me! This is my prayer on this day when I am choosing to remember the past. Let peace begin with me!

This version of In Flanders Fields was written by Helen Litz, and sung by her choir, Winnipeg Mennonite Children's Choir. Ashley (my daughter) sang with the choir from time she was 9 till 18. It is a beautiful but haunting rendition.

timing is everything even when we think the timing is all wrong

2011-11-10T10:29:00.001-06:00

So, I am one week in to the "off work" part of my injury. My form from the doctor says "absent from work beginning November 3 for 3 weeks" or something close to that effect. Someone mentioned that they wondered if this timing was God ordained. Now part of me has thought that "if" it was God ordained, I have to wonder about God's timing. But the other part of me has often said that "God's timing is always right". SO .... which is it? (guess I need to stop being so wishy washy hey!)

I have to be on crutches and in this big boot with minimal weight bearing on my booted foot for 1.5 weeks until I begin physio with Jay. My first app is next Tuesday. THEN I think I can let the crutches go and walk without them although still minimally until the three weeks is up, at which time Jay has to say if I am good to go back to work or need more time. I have to say that my employer Canadian Blood Services and my co-workers have been amazing to me. I have a feeling that my coworker DSR's are working extra shifts to cover mine. How will I ever repay them! (I really miss those women!!)

Now, that being said, I do remember back a week and a bit ago, when I was talking with God and sharing how I am struggling with lack of Quiet Time with Him in my life - and lack of time to just sit and soak in the Word, and the lack of journalling, and lack of doing the things that are feeding my soul with true nourishment. I was lamenting the lack of routine in my life that INCLUDED the things that satisfied my thirsty soul. And here I am now, with lots of time on my hands! (so it is hard to think that this time off is NOT God-ordained!) I am not saying God did this to me. NO, I stepped off those steps in my hurry and obliviousness ... but I also believe that nothing happens outside of His knowledge and plan for us.

Yesterday morning was glorious ...
Today began even earlier. Alvin went out the door at about 6:40 - heading off to work. Normally I would head back to bed, but instead I began the day with my study by Beth Moore - Stepping Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent (which are Psalm 120 - 134) Today I had finished (finally) week 2 which was the study of Psalm 124 and was able to watch the video download for session 2. The video finished off with Travis Cottrell singing. WOW.

From there, I read a little from the book by Eugene Petersen "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction" which is also on the Psalms of Ascent. I just read the first chapter but all I can say is another WOW.

Then I went to our church's website. Last Sunday Alvin went to Eastview Community Church without me. He thought I should give my leg a rest and NOT try to go. But he came home saying that Dave Ens had a really great sermon again. SO I went to eastview.org and watched online. And, another WOW.

So here it is - almost 11 and I still have not begun to do the filing that is so badly needed. (have to try to drag the boxes of stuff to file over to where I am) HOWEVER man alive, have I enjoyed being in the presence of God this morning, and being totally blessed by people who have spoken into my lives through the media.

God, you are so good. Regardless of how things go in my life - your goodness does not hinge on THAT. Your goodness is all about my relationship with you and how you love me so much, and long to be my all in all! I give you thanks and praise for all you have done, for what you are doing, and for all you will do in me, through me, and with me!! I love you Lord.

now .... I have some filing to do, gotta run!! there is "other" work to be done!

our sweet little man

2011-11-07T22:41:00.000-06:00

Today Leah and Ev came to visit us here at the land. Josh was working with Alvin and so by coming out not only did I get a visit, but so did Josh and Alvin. It is always a good reason to stop working when Leah and Ev come. Anyhow - being relatively still since I hurt my foot - I was very happy to hear them knock and say hello!

Everett is our little sweetness ... there is just no other way to describe him. He is so much fun. He is saying more and more phrases each day it seems. He has a cute little voice although it is a little raspy because of his cold.

He makes "eyes" and knows especially when he is being cute! (which really is most of the time!) He makes us laugh alot. He loves to cuddle. He loves to be sung to. He likes to do "round and round the garden went the teddy bear" and also "cut the pickle, tickle tickle!"

I bought a set of Elmo hands and I keep them with me, or bring them to his house when I come to visit! When you press Elmo on one of the "tickle hands" he sings and tells you to do the tickle dance. Everett loves this. He spins, dances, laughs, and when Cookie Monster says "cowabunga" Everett repeats it!

Today while we were waiting for lunch I was holding Everett as Leah was making the potatoes for our lunch. (I appreciated this, as working in the kitchen while using crutches has its drawbacks!) So, Everett and I sat and took some pictures and some video with my ipod. You will see how cute he is! Yes, I am unabashedly bragging! Isn't that what Granny's are allowed to do?

I just love our sweet little man!! Enjoy this cute little video clip from my ipod.

doing the unexpected

2011-11-04T23:38:00.000-05:00

won't be wearing my right runner for about 3 weeks!

It is a stupid thing that I have done. Stupid because I did it not just once, but twice! Yes folks! TWICE.

I walked down the steps from our current living quarters. The steps have no railing, but that was not an issue up till about 6 weeks ago, when early one morning, I stepped off of the second last step thinking I was on the ground. Such it was - my first fall from the steps! Luckily, I did not break my foot or anything else! BUT I did end up with a bit of a sore hip again :(

Fast forward to Wednesday - early morning. I was going to go and get my keys which Alvin hung above the freezer at the door. I wanted to start my car so that I could defrost it - as the early morning frost was thick on the windshield. I needed to go to the gym (which I was procrastinating about) and had to be at work in time, so my schedule was pretty tight if I didn't get going.

SO down the stairs I went - carefully, or so I thought! AND I am not sure what happened... I think I was looking straight ahead at the hooks on the wall for my keys, when I stepped off of the second last step (again) and went down. Down hard. And down in a different way, with my feet landing under me in a kneeling type of position. And it seems like it was all in slow-mo with me thinking, "oh my, what have I done again? this is not good!" And as I fell, I heard a very distinct "pop".

I always wondered if when trees fell in the jungle, if people weren't around - would they still make a sound? Well - let me tell you - when this "tree" fell onto that cement floor - it made a big sound - a few crying sounds! Man, it hurt. And, I was scared ... because in those early seconds as I laid there - I was not sure IF I would be able to get up, and what would I do since my cell was UPSTAIRS and Alvin was gone to work? Were would I have to crawl?

Slowly and surely, I was able to get up - stop howling, and get myself upstairs slowly but surely. I surveyed the damage and thought - well - there was no blood, no blue bruising, and no bones sticking out. Must be a twist or a sprain.

Fast forward to the end of the day when Alvin took a look (after I did drag myself into work and hobbled around) and Alvin's words to me were "oh no, I think it may be broken". SO, I went into the sports injury clinic here in the city (Pan Am) and 7.5 hours later, got home with a "boot" and a pair of "crutches" and my wallet $130 lighter. NO BREAKS but severe ligament damage. The instructions were to use crutches and put very little weight on my booted foot ... and to begin physio in 1.5 weeks, and to be off work for 3 weeks, perhaps 4 depending on what the physiotherapist says.

(insert sad face here)

So, here I am - hobbling around - trying to figure out how to use crutches. With my fibromyalgia, I find that my wrists are the weakest spot, but now they are having some work put on them (using crutches). I realize that it is impossible to walk with crutches and carry a cup of coffee! (or anything else unless it can go in a bag). I realize how much I took my two legs for granted AND have thought about my dad alot - as he became and amputee in WWII and had to learn to walk with crutches and an artificial leg. My dad always made it look so easy!

I also wish I had lost the 75 lbs that I have been trying to - cause it would have made it easier to support my weight on my arms! Maybe now that I can't get to the fridge as easy (or carry food with my crutches) I will shed a couple!!

Being that it is my right foot means that I can not drive (warned that it is not good if I get caught driving with my boot on, and I think it would be terribly hard to even try to drive with it) SO if I want to go anywhere by myself - I will have to de-boot to drive!

I will admit - I was feeling a little down today - it just seemed too hard to try to shuffle around. Too hard to try to make lunch. (last night I had popcorn for supper!) I realized it could be really easy to just be pitiful, which I really do not like! And then I talked with a sweet friend - who has been the recipient of the boot as well - with the same 3 week off work prescription! She doesn't have to use crutches, BUT she is still laid up, different injury but same foot! THING IS ... J actually sounded upbeat about it! She sounded like she was going to fully embrace this (literal) down time - and make the best of it!

If I believe God is sovereign (which I do) and that nothing happens out of his control, and that sometimes He allows things for reasons we may never know (which I also believe) ... then I need to embrace this time of rest! I struggle still with this - because I think that my husband really needs a rest, and yet for some reason this rest has to be taken by me! I fight the feeling of "adding to his work" daily, as he helps me get things, move things, etc. But after I got off the phone with J. I realized that this is my down time and I can make the most of it - or just be down about it! I have chosen to somehow - make the most of it!

So I will likely travel down the steps very little over the next little while. Maybe I just needed to slow down. What can I do during this time? Well - there are things - like some filing that has piled up, or my online course that I am taking but haven't been able to get to lately. Or read the books that are waiting to be read. OR maybe just getting my Quiet Time and journalling in daily. I have been talking to God about this too. Time will tell - but I really want to make the most of this down time!

And one day - maybe I can actually say thank-you Lord for this boot and set of crutches!
In the meantime, Lord, help me to take advantage of this season of rest!

hello tuesday

2011-10-25T09:15:00.002-05:00

Hello Tuesday
so far you are a good friend to me
with your beautiful morning sunrise
the sky filled with reds that are too beautiful to describe
white frost on the car
but no snow on the ground
I am loving you so far Tuesday!

Good Morning Lord
thank you for this new day
a new chance at life
I love YOU Lord ~ please use me today
for your honor and glory!
may my words, my actions, my thoughts
be pure
be wholesome
be truthful
be loving
may I be a reflection of You dear Jesus!

Hello Tuesday
I look ahead to this day
past this great cup of coffe
to my exercise time
my work day
and I do not know what all it holds
but I do know WHO holds it.
Thank you Lord.

Hello Tuesday
hello stillness of early morning
hello smell of fresh coffee
hello Jake who is here doing some electrical work
hello inspector who will come later and do the final electrical inspection

Hello Tuesday
good-bye to Monday, you made my daughter stress about her exam at university
it is a new day
and I want to live it to the full

Hello Tuesday
May you be full of wonderful surprise
Lord, may I see YOU throughout my day
Lord, please bless my sweet family
bless my friends
bless my co-workers

Hello Tuesday
Thank you Lord for reminding me of your Scripture which falls sweetly upon my soul
for your reminder to me!
I love you Lord.
Thank you for this TUESDAY!!

Hebrews 13:5

The Message (MSG)

^5-6Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote,

   God is there, ready to help;
   I'm fearless no matter what.
   Who or what can get to me?

Turn Your Eyes

2011-10-20T11:59:00.003-05:00

This morning as I worked through my devotional time with the Lord, I have been struck by the fact that I am often like a "kid in a candy store" (figuratively but also literally) as I go through life! I am often star struck by the things that appeal outwardly to me, or inwardly to my sugar cravings. I often go through life when things are going well (which does happen) and it seems at those times, I do not turn my eyes fully on my Jesus who is the author and creator of my life!! I continue to struggle with being self sufficient!

This morning I read through Scripture, and did my Bible Study that I am doing (Stepping Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent by Beth Moore) and TODAY I was really profoundly struck by a few things that she said. One of them was that:

WHERE I LOOK impacts WHAT I HEAR which impacts

WHAT I FEEL which impacts WHAT I EXPECT

In his book, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, Eugene Peterson says it like this (page 63)

"We are not presented with a functional god who will help us out of jams or an entertainment god who will lighten our tedious hours. We are presented with the God of exodus and Easter, the God of Sinai and Calvary. If we want to understand God, we must do it on his terms. If we want to see God the way he really is, we must look to the place of authority - to Scripture and to Jesus Christ.

And do we really want it any other way? I don't think so. We would very soon become contemptuous of a god whom we could figure out like a puzzle or learn to use like a tool. No, if God is worth our attention at all, he must be a God we can look up to - a God we must look up to ... The moment we look up to God (and not over at him, or down on him) we are in the posture of servitude."

I have realized that I look to things often. I struggle with my weight and continually give in to "the candy in the candy shop" because I look at it and want it and if my defences are down - I will buy it and eat it!! Why don't I look to Him to help me with all of it? I continually want to, but often don't. Isn't it Paul that said he does what he does not want to do?

This morning, as I read through my devotions, as I began the time with face-down prayer with the Lord, there is one song that has continued to run through my heart and mind. I used to sing this alot in the little chapel and camp I grew up in. I am including the rendition sung by Michael W. Smith who blesses me with his music.

It is my prayer today and in the days to come, that I will TURN MY EYES UPON JESUS and look FULL in his wonderful face!! O Lord, have mercy!!

my sweet man (a fun post/video for today)

2011-10-05T09:57:00.000-05:00

My sweet man. I have known this guy for 37 years and dated him for a couple months short of 37 years! We fell in love at 16, married at 20, had our son, built our house, had our daughter ....
We farmed "on the side" getting up to over 80 cattle/calves at one time in a cow/calving operation.
We farmed pigs and cattle in a farming partnership for a couple years (until the disintegration of the other couple's marriage made us decide to get out of the farming partnership since it would get complicated)
We had dogs ...
We had cats... and cats, and cats, and cats
We entertained family and friends in our home and loved it! If our dining room table could talk - we would hear many many hours of laughter and conversation and prayers coming from that wooden table.

And now - after 33 years of married life, and almost 37 years of dating (smile) we are in a new adventure, madly and wildly following the call of God on our lives. I stand amazed at how Alvin believes in what God has called me/us to. He works far too hard. But he is one of the wisest, most knowledgeable, craziest (in a good way) man that I know - loving God, me, his kids and grandkids with a passion like I have known in no other! Is marriage always easy? Of course not (I am not going to lie about that!) However - it is amazing and I would marry this guy again in a second. (which is what we did on our 25th.)

ANYHOW ... this isn't our anniversary (it passed in Sept) but I was just sitting here thinking about my sweet farmer/builder man Alvin after I watched (again) a very cute little video our kids sent us in an email. Somehow whenever I see this - I think of Alvin. So, I thought I would share it with you - and perhaps those of you who know him - will understand why it makes me think of him.

Kind of a fun post for today!

No Doubt

2011-10-03T22:32:00.002-05:00

This morning, as I drove into the city (at about 6:50) I was moved by a song that I heard on CHVN 95.1

I just looked up the schedule because I could not remember a title - and I found it! It is No Doubt by the band Petra. Not sure when they wrote it - but it spoke to me this morning!

compassion beyond measure

2011-10-03T00:15:00.003-05:00

The title of the post today - was the title of Dave's sermon this morning at Eastview. The sermon was about showing compassion. Dave said that we often feel uncomfortable when we talk about showing compassion, and that there "is more at stake, for us living compassionate lives, than we know"

The Scripture passage was from Acts 3 where Peter and John are on their way to the temple and encounter a beggar who is lame. They didn't have silver or gold, and told him such but what they gave him was way better. They look at the lame man, and in the name of Jesus - tell him to get up and walk! And - he does!! And goes away walking, leaping and praising God!!

Dave said "the church gathers and shows compassion in ways that change people's lives. Compassion is at the heart"

BUT that being said - why don't we show compassion more? Well - because it is hard. Because it is risky. Sometimes we may find ourselves "judging" who needs compassion and who doesn't!! When we look into the Word of God, we see that Jesus himself, went to the fringes of society... he ate with tax collectors, and prostitutes! (he lived a risky life - he was also ridicules for sitting with "sinners")
There was so much more to the sermon, but at the end, Dave encouraged us - that we would grow compassionate hearts! That we would walk around every day, looking with Jesus eyes!

I have often prayed exactly this before - that God would help me see through the eyes of Jesus. I have experienced this profoundly a couple times, and it left me a weepy mess. Two times that stand out in my memory are once when we were with a team in the inner city of Toronto (also known as the "tenderloin" area, as it was where prostitution was rampant, along with streets full of drag queens, and young male prostitutes. We were there late at night - and were there with a mission oriented purpose. All of a sudden, I felt this intensity in my being, and felt like the lens had come off my eyes, and I wept. I believe God helped me feel the compassion that Jesus felt for the broken among us.

The other time that stands in my memory, focuses on my street friend Barry. Barry, who often would come in so dirty, and so smelly from street life. Barry who would ask the ushers if they could get "Joy" and they would come and get me - sometimes out of the service - to help him out. Barry who would croon Amazing Grace to me, and recite scripture to me. (Create in me a clean heart O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me. This was one scripture he recited one day. However one of the coldest days of the year, I sat with Barry as he sipped a hot coffee and tried to warm up. He was high again. Not sure if it was the Listerine he had drank, or sniff ... but he was high. The holy spirit kept nudging me - prompting me to ask Barry "Barry, do you want me to pray with you?" To which he replied "Yes" and immediately bowed his head. It was like he immediately sobered up. I prayed. Again there was this stirring in my heart, and my eyes were opened again, and I felt this compassion ... only Jesus could do that. After we were done, he got up and said good-bye and went into the cold... and I wept.

Compassion is risky. Sometimes it costs us ... a few dollars to the person begging around the corner of the McDonald's drive through (where management could not see him). ... or a kind word to the woman who just told you about the journey since her son was murdered a couple years ago ... or the person who is just hungry, and you give your fresh coffee and donut to. Perhaps it is more - like donating money to the food bank, or to places like Mennonite Central Committee for their response to the famine... or brand new coats donated to Koats for Kids campaign.

Imagine what would happen if the "church" responded with compassion ... with more compassion. I am talking about the "church" as each of us who claim Jesus as Lord of our lives! Imagine if we reached out - in his name. If we gave a cup of water to "the least of these."
If our hearts great with compassion that looked the way Jesus told us. Imagine! Compassion beyond measure!

May that be my prayer daily!
To see others through the eyes of Jesus and to respond with love and compassion!

To what degree do you believe you want this in your life?

2011-09-27T10:08:00.003-05:00

A couple years ago, I had the privilege of sitting under the tutelage of Dr. Larry Crabb, as one of 30 students in the Spiritual Direction Class 33, at beautiful Glen Eyrie Retreat and Conference Center in amazing Colorado Springs, Colorado. This was an experience that I will never forget, and will cherish forever. God's timing for this - I just can't begin to explain.

Since then, I have had a great desire to do more with it. I have looked into becoming a "LIFE COACH" ... I have thought of a number of things, but I continue to be drawn to care giving and spiritual care of others. Such it was, that I decided to proceed with doing the SOUL CARE courses via on-line, and proceeding toward a certificate in Spiritual Formation, as taught by Dr. Crabb. I have to be honest - I love the fact that he is a christian counsellor, who believes that we all can speak into the lives of others who need "soul care" and that this is a huge thing in society - the fact that many do not have anyone to sit face to face with, and talk/listen with.

Now that I have prefaced this post ~ I have been thinking of one of the discussion questions that I had to answer the other night. Here it is:

Consider the radical nature of the proposed goal for SoulCare (“To arouse an appetite for God that is stronger than all other appetites”). Discuss whether you think this is a reasonable goal. Understand what is being said ... that you can actually long to know God more than you long for anything else (i.e. good health, a good marriage, godly kids, good feelings about yourself, etc.) To what degree do you believe you want this in your life?

So it is, since Saturday night, that this question has continued to resonate in my soul. Really, I answered it Saturday night but ... the question stands today still, and I continue to ask myself, being that I can actually long to know God more than I long for anything else, to what degree DO I believe that I want this in my life?

Sometimes our life crowds in doesn't it. I love my husband more than I can ever express. The love that I have for him, I have known for no other man before. He is a gift from God, given to me 37 years ago!! (yep, we were 16!) I want to spend my life, my days with him. Do I love God more? Do I long for God more than I long for my husband?

I love my kids (Josh, Leah, Ash and Mike) more than any other kids in the world. I have been greatly greatly blessed by these 4 gifts to me (and Alvin). I don't know what I would do without my kids in my life! Do I love God more? Do I long for God more than I long for my children?

I love my Grandbabes: our little Jay who is in heaven, our little Everett who blesses our lives here on earth, and our little Grandbabe in utero who we look forward to welcoming in January. Being a Granny is something that no words can describe! Do I love God more? Do I long for God more than I long for my grandchildren?

These are my thoughts today. My initial response is to say YES, I do long for God most. But when I really really think of what I am saying, it is something that is very sobering. Loving God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might! Saying it is one thing ... believing it with all my heart is another!

How DO I measure the degree to which I believe this?

Jesus gave his life for me. HIS LIFE!! All he wants for me - is that I would believe this, and walk daily in relationship with him. O Lord Jesus ... grow my love for you. I can hardly comprehend your love for me, the closest thing I can compare it to, is the love I have for my sweet husband, my kids and my grandbabes! And yet, you love me even more! Grow my love for you sweet Jesus and may I long for you more than anything else.
Yes Lord, more.

Where Everyone Knows Your Name

2011-09-25T22:10:00.001-05:00

It was great to be at church today. With having many Sundays away at the lake - I was just really missing church. I love the worship time (through music). I love the passionate way both Delbert and Dave speak. (Delbert spoke this morning). I love the way the church reaches past its doors into the community.
I realized today that this is the first fall that we are sitting in the pews at Eastview Community Church. It has been a huge transition for us, to leave the place we called our home church (after 32 years) and move to another church. (that move is a whole other blog post that likely will never be written, but know that the move was not something that we did without much prayer, much tears and grieving)

Anyhow ... today, as Delbert got up to give the welcome, he shared the sermon series that we are beginning right now, and the worship team broke into the song from Cheers

Now, okay, lest I offend some of you who think that singing a portion of the theme song of cheers is sacreligious or something ... let me explain.

Something happened when I heard the theme song begin to play on the piano. Actually I got goose bumps. Now, I liked the series CHEERS and watched it often with my husband. But I think the thing that I liked the most was the fact that people knew one another, and that when Norm came in - they all said "NORM" because they KNEW HIM!! (one of my friends was positive that when I walked into Mountain Bean, they all yelled JOY since I spent alot of time there while I was a Pastor. He said that he always wanted to be in the coffee shop before I came in, to see if it happened!!) I think I actually got goosebumps because I have heard people refer to the cheers community before. (No you won't catch me sitting and hanging out in a pub, because that is not my idea of a good time HOWEVER I love the idea of community. I love it when people KNOW me and allow me to get to KNOW them. I know that I love to be "in" community!)

Today Delbert's sermon was titled "Risk IT! Community in a Timmy's World and it was on Acts 2: 42 to the end. Delbert made us laugh as he had Tim Horton's props (cups and Timbits) because they are a CANADIAN thing, but he admitted that he loves Starbucks more!

He talked about how the first "church" was a community of like minded people - of one heart and one mind. That they were DEVOTED (totally committed to what they believed) but that beyond devotion, we have to have PASSION (which is a powerful and compelling emotional response to something we have experienced) . Imagine - Peter preached with passion (Acts 2) and 3000 were added to the church that day! WOW imagine if that happened today! We have a lot to be passionate about! I will never forget the night that I asked Jesus Christ to be Lord of my life!!

Delbert also said that besides PASSION we need to add LOYALTY. At this point, Delbert said that he had read the book "The Gospel According to Starbucks" (which is a book that Alvin also read and enjoyed) and within the book the author talks about an EPIC LIFE. There are 4 essential ingredients to establishing a Christ-like community (which we should all want to have right?) and they are

Experience: mainly teaching. If we are only here to entertain, then the church has missed the point!
Participation: we were all encouraged to roll up our sleeves and get involved, and bring others to come and know Christ!
Images: at this point we celebrated the Lord's Supper (aka communion) together. The images of the bread and wine representing the Lord's body which hung on the cross, and his blood shed for our sin. I love celebrating around the Lord's table together.
Connection: in the Acts church it said that they devoted themselves to teaching, to fellowship, to sharing meals, to prayer. They knew one another's NEEDS!! You can only do this if you connect with people! If you know others by name, and if you are known by your name! It was this type of community that attracted others!

It was at this point that Delbert encouraged us, as he was closing, to do an impromptu lunch invitation with someone. Go out of our way and go out with someone else. Impromptu!
As we were leaving, we were asked to go out with our friend Judy and her new husband Dennis. It was a wonderful time together, getting to know them and hearing how God had brought the two of them together.

I was blessed today through the service. The service that included worship time through music, Scripture reading, a sermon, sharing communion together and yes... even hearing the Worship Band sing the first part of the Cheers Theme Songs.

You want to go where everybody knows your name!!

My prayer is that God will help me to be open to the needs of others and willing to step out of my box, to step out of my comfort zone and to be HIS hands and feet to others! I want to be a community that reaches out and loves on others! O Lord, this is my prayer!

Lucille ~ an unexpected friendship

2011-09-24T23:44:00.001-05:00

Over the past year, Alvin and I have gotten to know the sweetest lady, our neighbor across the street from us (where we are building on Henderson Hwy). Last year, in October, we went over with flowers, and shared a glass of wine with her - on her 90th birthday. This year, she is turning 91 but you would hardly know it. Except that is, for the fact that her knee replacements have slowed down her walking, and her arthritis has made getting dressed harder for her.

The other day, we went to visit her. She has home care that comes to help her dress in the morning, and then again to get ready for bed at night. Thing is, they come quite early in the evening. Much too early for her to be in her nightgown, but what do you do when you need help?

Alvin and I had just come over to visit with her when her home care worker pulled into the driveway. I said that I would gladly help her get ready for bed later, and so with that, the home care worker left. We visited outside for a couple of hours and then decided we would have to get going. So in I went with Lucille. It was not the first time I helped her in her house, although I had never helped her get ready for bed before.

It didn't take too long, but I did help her undress, and before getting on her nightshirt, she asked if I could put some stuff on her sore and aching shoulders and arms. I gladly did this. After getting her nightie on, she said "sometimes I rub my feet with something but they can wait until tomorrow." I told her I would gladly rub her feet and she was so happy that I was willing. So, there I was, kneeling at her feet, and rubbing Watkins "greena smear" as Mom Klassen used to call it ... it actually smells like Vicks, but I use it on my feet too!

It was a humbling experience for me. And no doubt for her. It was a teachable moment for me too. You know, sitting at the feet of someone, and doing something like that, makes you both thankful, and grateful. Thankful that you are able to help someone out. Grateful that God allows such moments in our lives, to see how he wants us to be like him - servant hearted. Loving others as he loves us.

When I was done, I asked her if there was anything else she needed, and she said no. SO, I said, "well is it okay if I give you a hug then?" And I hugged her. To which she promptly replied, and I will give you one more, to which she gave me a hug and kiss. It was at that moment, that I realized she had entered my world, and I had entered hers, and a bond was struck.

Since then, we have been added onto her life line as contacts. She has also called us, just to see how we are, and vice versa. Today I called to see if I could go over for a visit. I realize she is like a grandma to me. Having lost my mom and mom-in-law, I appreciate the fact that there are older and wise women in my life still. Lucille is very "with it" and we have had some nice talks over a cup of instant coffee!

Today as I left, I again asked if there was anything she needed before I went, to which she said no.
So, before I left, I once again, gave her a hug, and she once again, gave me a hug and kiss.
And as I left - I walked away "blessed" by this woman, who unwittingly came into our lives when we bought the land! God knew that this special friendship would happen. The thing is ... her house has been sold, and she is looking for a place to go into. She is sad to go just when she has "new neighbors" (us) but I have a feeling, no matter where she goes, I will always be welcome to visit, to talk over instant coffee and to leave with a hug and kiss.

It is my prayer that as we both enjoy conversation, friendship and fellowship ~ that God would bless our friendship and use me in whatever way He sees fit. And, if you are one who believes in the power of prayer, please pray along with me, that something will open up in a home. She would love to go into a home where she can still live independently but with the option of help if needed. I am praying that a place will open soon for her, as she has to be out of her home by the 1st of December since it has been sold. Thanks for praying for my sweet friend Lucille.

Out Walking on the First Day of Fall 2011

2011-09-23T15:45:00.000-05:00

Today is such a beeeee-uuuu-tiiii-full day!!

Absolutely beautiful.

The sky is blue with a smattering of white cloud.

The Blue jays are calling and flitting from tree to tree.

The squirrels are running to and fro, I presume they are gathering acorns for winter.

The colors are turning.

Leaves are falling with the slight breeze.

The corn is standing straight in the fields.

People are driving past me, and I wonder where they are going on this wonderful day.

I left home with my little camera in hand... and captured some moments.

This is the first day of Fall.

I love fall.... the colors especially, and the smells.

I love the sound of the geese flying.

In the Bible is says ... "To everything there is a season!"

Welcome Fall!!

leaf blowing across the highway

and takes a rest on the shoulder

this bell chimes on Sundays
it belongs to the church below, which is our neighbour directly to the south of us

22 things about Yesterday

2011-09-23T11:38:00.001-05:00

22. It is a good thing that the my husband woke up without the alarm because I had reset the clock for pm not am

21. It was a working day and even though I had laundry to do, I was glad that I had one pair of underwear left in my drawer (after all my mom always used to say "always wear clean underwear in case you are ever in an accident!)

20. I went through the drive-thru at McDonalds and got a fresh medium cup of black coffee. It lasted me right through to my coffee break. ummmm.... good

19. I love work and can't thank God enough for the job at Canadian Blood Services. I am able to take note of people as they come through the line and God often puts some on my heart to pray for.

18. The women I work with make me smile! There is usually a good conversation and often a hug or two.

17. My shift was over at noon today and I still had half a day left!

16. Sunshine and some blue sky!! What more can I say. Hot days ahead on the weekend.

15. Noticing that the leaves are slowly changing. I guess yesterday was the first day of fall right?

14. This morning we noticed alot of geese flying south. They were still trying to get into formation, and there were many V's within the big formation. Geese are so interesting.

13. I had banana bread left over from last night, and I took if for coffee break. I love banana bread!

12. This afternoon I met two good friends at Mountain Bean for a cup of coffee and couple hours of conversation.

11. Exercising at curves ~ it felt good.

10. Jumped into my car which was full of dirty laundry (neatly arranged in baskets in the back seat) You know what happens with a warm car and laundry ... I was so glad I didn't smell funky when I came out of the car too!

9. Picked up my man at the firehall and he was waiting for me outside. I love that guy.

8. Ate supper with Leah and Everett. He has some new woods like pizza (which he ate two pieces of) and geese, and moose and happy ... and many other words.

7. Got to read to Everett, and sing with him, and hug him, and he gave me a big kiss good-nite as I put him into bed with his blankie and elmo and lovey (his favorite night time stuffy)

6. Got to see 3 of my 4 kids today and hug them!!

5. ate ice-cream (a once in a while treat)

4. felt the coolness of frost on my window in the morning (reminder of what is to come)

3. did 4 loads of wash ~ nothing better than the freshness of clean clothes. I am thankful that I have this luxury ... some people don't

2. heard bluejays cawing

1. hopped into bed at the end of the day, with my sweetheart - kissed good - nite and prayed myself to sleep.

THIS WAS STARTED YESTERDAY AND FINISHED TODAY!

the cookies!

2011-09-18T17:54:00.003-05:00

Today I have laughed again

as I watched my little grandson Everett and his Daddy

"play" with the cookies that Everett was given to eat.

You will hear Josh giving voices to the cookies,

asking Everett "Do you want to eat me"

as he makes the little teddy shaped cookie come closer and closer to its end!

Everett loves this.

He squeals with anticipation!

It made us all laugh!

Enjoy!

oh, to be young again

and to eat cookies with such delight and anticipation!

I have just been thinking ...

2011-09-15T21:09:00.002-05:00

These last few days I have not blogged. I have worked a few shifts, including an out of town one. On top of that I have been battling a big-time cold which has made me consume far too many cold meds!
The weather has been much colder this week - a rather rude awakening to those of us who have been basking in above normal temps all summer (here in Manitoba). It feels like I have been in thinking mode lately or perhaps God has just raised my level of awareness many more notches. I should journal all this down but instead I will journal it in my blog. Perhaps you have wondered about some of this too.

I watched an older man pushing his shopping cart across Logan Avenue. He was heading into the wind, and his body was leaning into the cart as he pushed it. The thing that struck me was that he was not dressed for the change of weather. He had short sleeves on. I wished that I hadn't cleaned stuff out of the trunk - because I would have grabbed a jacket of Alvin's and given it to him. My heart hurt. I have close friends/family who have spent more than one night on the street. I just can not imagine!

I watched the news with Alvin the other day - and saw starving children. Their big eyes looking out. Their extended tummies and anorexic bodies. They are literally starving to death. Starving. I look at the mothers and can not imagine their thoughts. Every parent wants to provide for their child. We can. In fact, we often could be found guilty of spoiling our kids. I watched but inside, I felt sick. They need our help. The government is multiplying the money given toward this need. And here I am, trying to lose weight because in my lifetime, I have over-indulged. To have children starving and dying in your arms ~ to have them look up in my face and not be able to give them what they desperately need to live ... I can not imagine. O Lord, have mercy.

I talked with someone - a young adult in their late teens - who had recently taken an Aids test. My heart broke. When I verbalized this, the response to me from a peer was "well Joy, that is the reality of high-schoolers ~ they are having sex." Yes, I know that this is a reality. But my heart still broke at the fact that this young man, with so much ahead of him, has already had to face the possibility of aids. O Lord, protect my grandchildren, and help them to keep pure until marriage. Personally I know that is hard, but I also know it is absolutely possible.

I watched a dad and his son the other day. Both dressed in orange t-shirts. The little guy was about 3. I watched their interaction. A couple days later I laughed at the antics of our little grandson Ev. I watched as he danced, as he wrestled with his dad, as he hugged his mommy ... as he blew us all kisses as his mom and dad took him for his bedtime routine. Watching three year olds laugh and play, make me realize how our grandson Jay would have played with his younger brother Everett. While other little three year olds make me smile ... it also makes me miss our little one so much. We will always miss him. The same day we visited with our grandson, I was also aware that there was another mom and dad not too far away that were missing their little guy who is also in heaven. There are times when I still ask God "why?"

I sat with a good friend today and chatted over coffee (actually here in the same place as I am now sitting and writing.) We talk about some of the things in life that are just plain hard. We talk about family. We talk about jobs. We talk about depression. Lord, Life is so hard sometimes - and emotionally we are often very weak. But you are strong. O Lord, give us strength and healing.

I watched many of the 9-11 stories on Sunday. I remembered where I was the day that I first heard the news. We all remember. I watched people weep as they listened. I watched people as they did pencil rubbing over their loved ones names. I marvelled at the bravery of the firefighters (this is especially close to my heart with my husband and son both in the same career of firefighting). I wondered what people thought as they ran with the huge cloud of debris and dust following them. And I realized that watching all of this made me feel like it had just happened again, even though it hadn't. I listened to the man who was then the mayor, as he addressed the people in the service and read Scripture. The same scripture that I have heard before. The same Scripture that is often read at funerals. The same scripture that we can likely all recite, and that a song is even written after. You know it ... "to everything there is a time ..."

I will end my thoughts, my ramblings with this scripture, the one Rudy Galiano read, the one subtitled "A Time for Everything" Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, New Living Translation

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

what does the worker gain from his toil?
i have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
he has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever, nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.

creation speaks without saying a word

2011-09-07T18:30:00.001-05:00

behind every cloud there IS a silver lining!

coming home from Selkirk one night,
we caught these pics of the sun setting.

the sun's reflection was on the silo ~ although my little camera didn't capture that real well
but it was beautiful to see the reflection as the sun set

one of the storms that came and went quickly through the city
this was captured from the balcony of the condo

daisies
are
such beautiful flowers

these pics are all taken at the cottage (this one and the next ones)

the extreme dry weather has made everything look like fall already!
leaves are drying up and dying prematurely
although fall is right around the corner!

Creation speaks through its beauty
It reflects the glory of the Creator!
Our God is an Awesome God!

drawn to this psalm

2011-09-06T11:43:00.000-05:00

This morning I sat in my newly selected Quiet Time Space ... I have put a chair in a corner, close to where the sun streams in in the morning. It is an old chair, but feels good. It is covered. Nothing special about it other than it "works" for now. I have a little table beside me to hold my coffee and my journal/bible etc.

I went there this morning and randomly opened my Bible. I didn't do the "open and point" thing that some people use to find their Scripture reading for the day. But it just seemed to open at this place. And Psalm 145 caught my eye. SO, I read it ~ OUT LOUD! And, it blessed my soul. Before I read it, I asked the Lord to write the truths indelibly on my heart - (I remember when my mom had indelible ink pens ~ or at least that is what they were called then ~ and if something is indelible it means it does not come out! EVER. ) O Lord, please write YOUR truths on my heart!

Psalm 145 - originally written by David - you know him, Shepherd, King and a very very human being and yet was known by God as a man "with a heart after God's own". In this Psalm I read it and wrote what I saw about "I" , about GOD, about the LORD, about "THEY" .... and realize that we are all in it together!! We have responsibility to praise GOD. THEY means "everything that God has created" ...
just sit outside for a while - you will hear and see Creation praising God!

Read this Psalm through and let it bless you too this morning!

Psalm 145 from The Message

David's Praise

¹ I lift you high in praise, my God, O my King! and I'll bless your name into eternity.

² I'll bless you every day,
      and keep it up from now to eternity.
³ God is magnificent; he can never be praised enough.
      There are no boundaries to his greatness.
⁴ Generation after generation stands in awe of your work;
      each one tells stories of your mighty acts.
⁵ Your beauty and splendor have everyone talking;
      I compose songs on your wonders.
⁶ Your marvelous doings are headline news;
      I could write a book full of the details of your greatness.
⁷ The fame of your goodness spreads across the country;
      your righteousness is on everyone's lips.

⁸ God is all mercy and grace—
      not quick to anger, is rich in love.

⁹ God is good to one and all;
      everything he does is suffused with grace.

^10-11 Creation and creatures applaud you, God;
      your holy people bless you.

   They talk about the glories of your rule,
      they exclaim over your splendor,

¹² Letting the world know of your power for good,
      the lavish splendor of your kingdom.

¹³ Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal;
      you never get voted out of office.

   God always does what he says,
      and is gracious in everything he does.

¹⁴ God gives a hand to those down on their luck,
      gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

¹⁵ All eyes are on you, expectant;
      you give them their meals on time.

¹⁶ Generous to a fault,
      you lavish your favor on all creatures.

¹⁷ Everything God does is right—
      the trademark on all his works is love.

¹⁸ God's there, listening for all who pray,
      for all who pray and mean it.

¹⁹ He does what's best for those who fear him—
      hears them call out, and saves them.

²⁰ God sticks by all who love him,
      but it's all over for those who don't.

²¹ My mouth is filled with God's praise.
      Let everything living bless him,
      bless his holy name from now to eternity!

nothing but the sound of the fan and the sunbeams through the window

2011-09-05T15:40:00.001-05:00

it is absolutely quiet right now
except for the sound of the ceiling fan
whirling around
it is good
the quietness

today began with the sound of the birds
the distinct caw of the bluejays
the rascals
but they are a gift to me
and their sound
and their beauty takes my breath away

there is alot to do
rug to vacuum
dust to sweep out of corners long neglected
but there is no rush
because it will just begin to collect again
as soon as the mop is put away

i love the quietness
it is a balm for my being
like the sun that shines on me
the quietness shines into my soul
and it is in this time
that i can think
that i can listen
that i can commune with my Lord
that i can pray
that i can just BE.

this day has been a day of blessing
a day that has felt like days gone past
like some of the days when i was in my old home
or the days i lived in the loft near my kids
this day feels reminiscent of those ones
and as i putter around this place
putting away
sorting
cleaning
sitting
i am thankful that it feels good

in the midst of this day
i have sat with a good cup of coffee
i have chatted with some of my kids
i have sat and conversed over lunch
i have hugged my boys
and prayed with my son
and i am thankful
that God has given me this day as a gift
and all that has been a part of it

so as the fan whirls
and the sun shines
as the bluejay caws
and the wind blows through the trees

i. am. thankful.

very very thankful.
thank you Lord

if you are interested, I have also posted today on www.womenrefreshed.wordpress.com

those that wait upon the Lord ~ (oh Lord, please help me)

2011-09-01T20:55:00.001-05:00

^{I will admit - I have had a hard day today. It has been full of physical pain (another fibromyalgia flare up) and I find the pain makes me even more emotional than I usually am! Last night, about 8 pm, we concluded another chapter in our lives, and a new one began. Last night's sleep was hard (due to the pain and stiffness) and when the alarm went this morning and I needed to get dressed for work - I felt like the "tin man" again. (guess I would be the tin woman!)}

On the way to work - I stopped at a McDonald's ... and before I got my Golden Bran muffin and black coffee, I used the washroom. Now, THAT was quite the experience. I walked in, and immediately noticed a yucky smell (checked to see if there was pee on the floor somewhere) and there was toilet paper scraps on the floor (some used, so that was equally gross!) I did the "squat" thing (which I got down pat during my trip to Thailand a couple years ago) and then went to wash my hands. GROSS again ... water all over the messy sinks. I was never so glad to get out of a bathroom (using something to cover the handle so that my hand didn't get contaminated on the way out!) BUT THEN ... as I was leaving, I notice that (um-hum...) I was in the MEN'S BATHROOM. So now, I was REALLY grossed out!! (and may I add that when I got into the car, I pulled the hand sanitizer from my purse and used it!)

As I drove, I wondered how I made this mistake? Was I just tired? Ya, I figured that was a good answer! Honestly I just really did not like this start to my day!

^{But here, at the other end of the day, I can say I have been reflecting back onto the day, and actually onto the other days in this terribly full week, and I realize a couple things. The most blatantly obvious is that my "busy-ness" has occupied my day - and has crowded out the Quiet Time with my Lord. I have not spent the time I have wanted with Him. I have not bowed low daily, giving Jesus all my cares, and "laying them down at the cross" so to speak. And I realize that this neglect in itself, has set me up for some hard times lately.}

^{You see - I know enough through my 53 years, that life IS hard at times. That life is EXCRUCIATING at some times. That life can also feel "easy" at times. I also know that often when life does get hard - it is much easier to walk through my days when I have come before the throne in time with my Jesus! So it made sense that today, amidst the physical pain, that I just felt totally out of energy - out of emotions - out of strength. MINE was depleted over and over and over - years ago ... and because of my lack of QT this week - I was not being enriched and strengthened the way I know I can be when I include HIM in my walk.}
^{(okay, now I feel like I am babbling)}

^{Anyhow - the tears have flowed today - for many reasons. Today we marked the first few paragraphs in the next chapter of our lives. One day - over coffee I can fill you in more. But for now - I know I want to get back into the practice of coming "face down" before Him daily - waiting on HIM - listening - praying - because I know that Scripture says - that those who wait on the Lord - will renew their strength. And right about now - I need that. Thank you Lord for your promise! O Lord, help me to wait - help me to worship - help me to love you fully with all my being. O Lord, hear my prayer!}

^{Isaiah 40 verse 27 to the end of the chapter, in The Message puts it this way:}

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,

or, whine, Israel, saying,

"God has lost track of me.

He doesn't care what happens to me"?

Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?

God doesn't come and go. God lasts.

He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.

He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
   And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
   they walk and don't lag behind.

or as it is in the New Living Translation, same chapter in Isaiah says it like this:

²⁸ Have you never heard?

Have you never understood?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of all the earth.

He never grows weak or weary.

No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

²⁹ He gives power to the weak

and strength to the powerless.

³⁰ Even youths will become weak and tired,

and young men will fall in exhaustion.

³¹ But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint.

Blessed daily by Faye's "FAITH"

2011-08-23T10:41:00.005-05:00

I go to Curves, and each day that I go - I am blessed in new ways. One of the ways is that when I go into the room to change - I see a poster for an Art Show that is being held by Faye Hall (for more details see http://www.fayehall.com/2011/08/turning-my-home-into-a-gallery/ )

If you go to Faye's site, you will see why I am blessed each day that I go into Curves and see her poster on the bulletin board. I am daily blown away at how God weaves details of our lives together to make an amazing LIFE PICTURE.

Let me share a story that I shared in part, on January 6th of this year (you can see that blog post if you wish).

I don't always share such intimate details of my walk with God. However I am going to do that today. I don't usually share them because I don't always think that HE wants me to. I also don't always share them because I will be honest ... when I say that God speaks to me, not everyone believes me, and some people think that doesn't happen today. BUT ... whether you believe me or not, I know that God speaks. In fact, he speaks alot. (Personally I think more of us would hear him more often if we were less busy, less distracted and more inclined to just sit and listen without talking ourselves!) Anyhow... I have told my kids that when I die, if they choose to read my journals, that if they see "conversations" ~ that they will know I was writing as I was listening. It was so refreshing one day when I met with my dear young friend Karen, and she shared how she finds out that she writes conversations in her journal. I totally understood what she was saying as that was happening to me too. This has not always been the way things have gone with me. But definitely during the last 10 years or so. Personally I think it is because I am just so thirsty for the LORD. Which is what this post is all about.
(and here comes the details of my conversation with the Lord, on the morning of Jan. 6 of this year, 2011)

That morning, in my QT he had directed me to Isaiah 35:7 "the parched land will become a pool and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land"

When I journalled about the word parched I wrote down these definitions:
parched: desperate for water; dry to the extreme; dried out by heat or excessive exposure to sunlight; needing or desiring drink - thirsty; archaic thirst; to make dry, hot or thirsty.

the key thought for that day, from my devotional book was "hot sands will become a cool oasis"

From there, I started to journal, and here are my thoughts and my conversation with God, word for word.

"Good morning Lord. Thank you for your Word given this morning through Isaiah 35. The verse that I focused on was verse 7 which talked about the parched land coming to live - with water quenching it - and springing forth!

I have looked up the word parched. Does this often describe my soul? Does the dry and barrenness describe my life often? Lord ~ forgive me. Sometimes the "heat" in my life just overtakes me and leaves me very dry - very lifeless - very crusty like the soil that has not gotten water in a very long time.

What has made my life dry and cracked - what has made my life parched? I think perhaps the times when the day gets going and I have not chosen to renew at the well - the springs of living water!! O Lord help me to get into this practice again!

I thirst ... O Lord please fill me.
I see this image/picture you have just given me - of a woman standing under a waterfall with the water streaming down onto her face. She is standing in all her clothes - and her face is looking into it. Her eyes are closed - her arms are up as if to catch even more of the living and refreshing water. There is a serene look on her face -
O Lord - this is ME!!
Fill me to overflowing
Wash over me with your living water
Please Lord. Please"

A couple months later (I think it was) I got an email from Faye, in regards to Steve Bell. As a result of reading that over, I came to see a picture (I think it was tiny and beside her name or something) and it literally took my breath away! THERE WAS THE PICTURE THAT GOD GAVE TO ME ON JAN 6 OF THIS YEAR! Honestly I had never seen this picture before, even though she painted it in 2010.

The reason why I am writing this again, and why I am blessed with going into Curves and seeing Faye's poster is for exactly this reason ..If you go to her post, and see the poster, it will explain itself! AND HEY ... she is a very very talented local artist. Look through her site - read her blog about some of her paintings - and attend her first ever art show!

God moves in mysterious ways. And, he has certainly used Faye Hall to bless my life! AND she didn't even know it when she painted a picture that came as an inspiration to her.

Our God is an awesome God! He never ceases to amaze me at how he brings people together! Now go - check her website out! www.fayehall.com Guaranteed you will also be blessed!

Hello Monday

2011-08-22T08:16:00.000-05:00

hello beautiful day
hello lazy river flowing past my balcony
hello birds that sing, and hot air balloons floating by

hello unplanned schedule
hello fresh cup of coffee
hello Lord - thank you for quiet time with you in a while

hello family
hello friends
hello walk in the community and taking in creation around me

hello exercise (you will feel so good)
hello weigh in (hope I am down a pound or two)
hello unexpected meeting of people I know

hello today
hello all that it holds
hello Lord, and thank you for giving me breath for another day
and the promise of good things

hello Monday!

neTTLes

2011-08-17T11:04:00.003-05:00

Today I began my day with Isaiah 55: 10 - 13 and it seemed like I was reading the Word with new eyes. Here is the Scripture in two versions: The Message and also New Living Bible. I like to often read it in The Message because Eugene Peterson just seems to bring it to everyday language.

Isaiah 55:10-13

The Message (MSG)

^8-11"I don't think the way you think.

The way you work isn't the way I work."

God's Decree.

"For as the sky soars high above earth,

so the way I work surpasses the way you work,

and the way I think is beyond the way you think.

Just as rain and snow descend from the skies

and don't go back until they've watered the earth,

Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,

producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,

So will the words that come out of my mouth

not come back empty-handed.

They'll do the work I sent them to do,

they'll complete the assignment I gave them.

^12-13"So you'll go out in joy,

you'll be led into a whole and complete life.

The mountains and hills will lead the parade,

bursting with song.

All the trees of the forest will join the procession,

exuberant with applause.

No more thistles, but giant sequoias,

no more thornbushes, but stately pines—

Monuments to me, to God,

living and lasting evidence of God."

Isaiah 55:10-13

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁰ “The rain and snow come down from the heavens
      and stay on the ground to water the earth.
   They cause the grain to grow,
      producing seed for the farmer
      and bread for the hungry.
¹¹ It is the same with my word.
      I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
   It will accomplish all I want it to,
      and it will prosper everywhere I send it.
¹² You will live in joy and peace.
      The mountains and hills will burst into song,
      and the trees of the field will clap their hands!
¹³ Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
      Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
   These events will bring great honor to the Lord’s name;
      they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”

I know for sure I have read this. I also know that a couple years ago, my dear friend Phoebe sent a "word" for me, along with a flower - and on the paper were the words from verse 12 about the mountains and hills will burst into song and the trees will clap their hands! I remember at the time, that it was a word of encouragement.

The thing that struck me today however - was verse 13 that talks about trees growing where thistles and nettles grew. Have you ever been "stung" by nettles? You will know if you have. As a little girl I remember getting stung and it hurts. So much that to this day - I do not want to brush by any if I see them!

And then the Word says - that "these events will bring great honor to the Lord's name; they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love!" THERE came my "aha" moment. A moment that was filled with the thoughts of all the "thistles, thorns, and nettle stinging moments" in my life. AND YET out of all that - things will grow AND FLOURISH and God's name will be praised! Really, that is what my life needs to be about. As much as I get caught up in my "woe is me" moments ~ my life is all about HIM! All about my Lord!

It seems that as I walk through life - many things do sting. Many things become thorns in our flesh that we just seem to not be able to remove. There are also so many things in life that are like those nettles I walked into as a little girl - they looked pretty but felt terrible when touched. Life - is fragile. Life - is for the most part "unseen" as far as what the future holds. I am so glad that in looking backward, that is when we get the whole picture and see the journey that we have walked, and the parts where God has carried us through.

The other day I was reminded of the goodness of the Lord Jesus Christ through a song by Chris Tomlin. I love the words - and perhaps they will also speak into your soul and bring peace, comfort and a healing balm to the "sting of any nettles" that you may have encountered lately!

if you are also reading "the journey" I have also posted on zephaniah3verse17.blogspot.com

sympathesizing with the TIN MAN

2011-08-15T17:19:00.002-05:00

When I was young, I knew that my mom lived in pain. She often slept up in a chair. I didn't understand it but I knew this was a fact. Living in pain is a fact of life for many many people. I know that too. I also understand it. Pain has been a very constant part of my life. Physical pain that is ... for a number of years. OFFICIALLY my pain was recognized as my doctor in 1995 and given a name: fibromyalgia.

However, it is not noticeable for the most part by others, unless they see a limp, or a stiffness, or my hands on my back, or taking some extra strength pain meds.

In my life - I have just kind of worked through it. Mainly because I hate PITY. Don't want to hear any "oh poor you" ... I hate that. I also lived through it till now because - it makes no sense to complain as that changes absolutely nothing, and only gets you PITY or puts you in your own "pity-party" and I hate that too.

Over the past 16 years - my FMS has had a few flare-ups, and most of them were stress related. At some points, changing gears on our standard car was hard to do ... or holding my arms at my side caused aching right through to the middle of the bones! I don't know how to explain it other than feeling like the "tin man" from the wizard of OZ. Can only imagine how his rusty limbs felt!!

Last week I stepped up my exercise - and my walking. Not sure - was that why the FM hit with a vengeance this past weekend and on into today? But it is such a catch 22. Everything feels like it is rusted and can't move - and so you don't want to move - but then you know if you don't move - you will feel worse so you do move and exercise but it is painful - but that is good even though it feels bad.

hmmmm.....

anyhow - yesterday I did not do anything - I didn't even walk. DIDN'T feel good about that. SO I was back at Curves today and I clipped my pedometer back on this morning - at this point I have only done about 7000 steps, but hey - that is about 6000 + more than yesterday!

Just needed to vent a little. But more than that - if you are praying friends - would love your prayers for this. Pray that I will continue to walk through this - and take it as it comes. Pray that I won't ever get to the point where I can't pick up my grandkids, or get down with them. That is what really scares me. And pray that I can continue on, without landing in my own little pity party! Thanks all.

GOD IS GOOD. HE IS HEALER .... and He knows about every ache and pain in my and your lives! Every one - spiritual, mental, emotional and especially as I speak today - the physical!

With that - I am going to get these joints moving - got some cleaning up to do!

ps
I have just sat down again after the clean up blitz in the condo (not a big clean, just the mini one - you know, dishes in the dishwasher, crumbs off the table, dirty clothes in the basket, etc) I read through the above again, and my first thoughts were: "what kind of post was that!! sounds like a whole lot of pity calls to me!!" AND my next impulse was to just delete the post. BUT I will leave it. It is my reality but what I think I want to add as a ps is that ALL of us have pain of one kind or another in life. I AM NOT ALONE!! But, the redeeming thing is this: all that I go through ... I think can cause me to be more compassionate with others who also have pain. So that is my prayer, that while walking through this tin-man pain, that I will be able to come alongside of someone else, and offer encouragement, support, prayer, and hope! There is so much of life to live!! It is my prayer that regardless - God will use me to his glory! So.... forgive the "poor me" post!! I really didn't intend it to sound that way. :)

looking up

2011-08-10T13:10:00.003-05:00

I am doing a Beth Moore Study - called Stepping Up - the Psalms of Ascent - and I am actually not doing this in a group setting, but I am doing this on my own. Just wanted an in depth study during summer, and have always wanted to do this one. So I am.

Yesterday and again today, my thoughts were focused on Psalm 121 - a psalm that I love. I often read this Psalm to Omi (Mom Klassen's mom) when she was dying, and I also read this Psalm to Mom as well. I love it. It directs my gaze upward.

It talks about our Lord God as our helper, our protector along our journey. Yes ... along the journey! And what a journey we are on. Each of our journeys are different - but none the less are not always easy. My journey has been full of uphill climbs and down hill coasting ... it has been full of mountain top experiences as well as deep valley lows The journey has not been an easy one, but it has been one where I have been stretched, and grown and changed to become the woman that I am today. Sometimes I don't recognize myself or the life now ... but I know who has carried me through all the steps and the journey, and I am thankful that HE, my Lord, is the one fully in control. Yes FULLY ... even though I still ask him many "WHY GOD?" questions.

At the end of today's Quiet Time, I was asked in study to transform PSALM 121 into my own prayer:
Here it is. Perhaps you could write your own too, based on this favorite Psalm 121.

My Psalm 121

I stand and look

my face upward toward heaven

to ward you O Lord, MY God.

You are the One who is my helper at all times

you watch over each step I take and you guard me along my journey

I don't have to worry because you are always alert

you are watching and waiting.

You never get tired or sleep

You always watch over me - like a parent over their child

watching every rise and fall of my chest with each breath

listening for every sound that is murmured or spoken

watching for danger or distractions along the way

When the heat of this present life overwhelms me and threatens to sap all my strength

You provide the shade, and the green grass to rest in

You give me what I need to renew, refuel and refresh

It doesn't matter what time of day or night

You are there.

You keep my from harm

in the past

in my present day

and in the future

You care about each step of my journey

You love me so much

You direct each step I take and when I can't walk another step

you will carry me when I am too tired.

You have been

You are, and

You always will be

my helper

my protector

my Sovereign God.

And I love you so much.

So very very much.

NOT impressed but impressed

2011-08-04T21:40:00.000-05:00

Years and years ago, after coming home from camp - Josh proceeded to do graffiti art on some of our sheds/cow lean to's etc in the back. He went to town with spray paint, and later when his cousin came, Gord did a little art of his own back there. Then when Josh and Jer were running a skateboard park in the church parking lot - he was able to secure a semi trailer (just the trailer) and got it moved into the yard, and then they got a guy to do graffiti on it. Actually I like graffiti - or should I say I like SOME graffiti. I do not like the stuff that the gangs tag on buildings/signs/mailboxes etc. BUT I do like the graffiti I see when the long trains go by. Some of the graffiti is very creative - very artsy. I like the colors, the flowing lines, and often the abstract art form.

Well this morning, as I was on the way to work - I went over the Chief Peguis bridge and on to work. I turned onto MainStreet and was not too far south when I noticed the flowers and the graffiti. I don't know which I noticed first, HOWEVER I did notice that there were the purple and white flowers - multiplying/blooming/growing on the median boulevard right close to Kildonan Park. Maybe I also got to take a little more in since I had a red light at that intersection.

The flowers were beautiful. I especially liked the purple petunias I think they were. And then I saw the graffiti - and although it is by the looks of it, just a tagging with initials, it was done in PURPLE!!
And while I was not impressed with the tag itself - I was impressed by the fact that the tagger did it to match the flowers! Perhaps he/she didn't plan it like this - but I am giving them the shadow of a doubt ad saying it was planned this way. Perhaps in the midst of tagging property that is not theirs - just perhaps they had some thought to it - to make the tag blend instead of stick out! Regardless - it really wasn't that offensive as it would have been in black!

It made me think of how we want to blend in, but yet keep our originality. Hmmm....
It made me think about as one who follows Jesus ... do I blend in or stick out? I am not sure that sticking out is a good thing. Too many people are turned away from Jesus by Christians who stick out so much they make other people feel like they would never measure up - or be good enough to get close to Jesus. (no wonder Jesus came for the broken, the sin-filled, the messy ... cause he doesn't care if we measure up, he just wants us to follow him!)

Maybe blending in a little, and yet keeping the originality of who God made me to be is similar to the tag done in purple among the purple and white flowers. I don't know ... just a thought!

Soul Care 101 by Dr. Larry Crabb

2011-08-02T00:03:00.001-05:00

Two years ago, just before I resigned, I had signed up for a week long course with Dr. Larry Crabb, down in beautiful Colorado Springs, at Glen Eyrie Retreat and Conference Center. This week long time together, which was the School of Spiritual Direction (class 33) ~ was one of the most amazing weeks I have experienced. I was in a beautiful part of the world, being taught by Dr. Crabb (which was amazing in itself) and to meet some amazing men and women (especially Paige and Jason, who were my friends in my triad) This week was costly - but I can not say how amazing it was for me spiritually. Absolutely amazing. I thank God for the opportunity to go and learn.

I have thought of that time away alot and thank God for what I experienced. It was at a very raw point in my life ... I had just resigned from my 7.5 years in pastoral ministry because I knew without a doubt that God was calling me out of ministry at McIvor. However, leaving ministry there, was not without some personal pain and heartache which had occurred in the year following our little grandson Jay's silent birth. While losing our firstborn grandson Jay was the hardest grief I have ever ever ever experienced ... our journey was compounded by some misunderstanding and hurt. Hard to say, and sorry to say, but true. SO going away to sit under the teaching of Dr. Crabb (christian counsellor/teacher/author) was so timely. I wept as God began the work of healing in my life. (which is still ongoing).

Since that time I have thought alot about getting more insight, more teaching in the areas of spiritual direction and Alvin and I are currently reading the book SOUL CARE by Dr. Crabb. I love it when we are both reading the same book at the same time! It involves creative reading so that we never lose one another's spots! BUT ... tonight I just signed up for a course by Dr. Crabb, called SOUL CARE 101 which can be taken online - and will only grow my understanding and ability of caring for others - through daring to care for someone!

This is the first of 4 courses, and then I hope to be able to go to the next Step week long course once again under the instruction of Dr. Crabb. While it in the end with give me a "certificate" ~ I think that the real thing I look forward to is having more insight, more knowledge into caring for others. I am thinking perhaps I need to start saving my money for the next week long course !!

I am very excited about this ... very, very excited! Just thought I would share that with you. I think perhaps God will use this in the retreat ministry with women! O Lord, please grow my love for you, my love for your Word, and my love for others. Please use me Lord. Use me to bring you honor and glory. amen.

just be

2011-07-29T13:32:00.003-05:00

I had many conversations with people this morning - family and friends I bumped into and talked with on the phone. However since one of them, God has really been speaking into my being. And, I have been hearing him loud and clear. I love that about God. He speaks .... and often I am too busy or distracted to hear - but today he is really speaking some simple words to me. Words about just being still. Timely words in many ways.

Lately, I have not allowed myself to "just be" . My QT with the Lord has been lacking. The fact that I am fighting with fatigue these days (presumably accented by low iron) just adds to the way life has been.
I give it all at work - but then on the off days, find myself just wanting to get other things done, odd jobs tied up. I have been missing a regular schedule quiet time with my Lord, and I am seeing how that lack affects my life so drastically. I am finding that I am not allowing time to just BE STILL and sit with Him. I miss that.

I think God has used several things in my life to try to impress on me the fact that it is so necessary to just be! I don't know any other way to put it. Sometimes when I talk to people, they totally get the "just BE" part. Other people just don't get it. That's okay - it is their life. Lately I have had people asking me - "so what are you going to do at the retreat centre?" "What are you going to offer for the women as far as types of retreats" "What topics/sessions will you offer"

I was trying to answer their questions, and as I mentioned to Alvin, I often came away from there feeling like "what in the world are we doing?" But today ... after a conversation about the retreat bed and breakfast for women that we are building - God just kept saying and reminding me that when He first gave this vision to me 10 years ago - He said it was to be a place where women come come and "just BE!" God never gave me the impression or the go ahead to plan a place where it was so busy that women went away overwhelmed, or as tired as they came. NO ... the vision was all about offering a place where women would be able to retreat to - and just be able to rest, renew and refresh by providing a place where women could feel relaxed and able to just rest if they wanted to rest ... walk if they wanted to walk... read a book in their pj's if they wanted to .. sit in a hot tub ... get a nice lunch or perhaps breakfast in bed if they stay over night. A place where they could come alone or with a sister, or a friend. A place where they could journal, or paint ... sit or sleep ... talk with others or enjoy quiet ... walk, or bike or just sit on the porch with a great cup of coffee and listen to and watch the birds!
I realized today that when some people ask me "what am I going to be doing ... what am I going to be offering etc..." that it makes me feel hurried.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever happens in the house will be made very clear to me, so while I work on writing down ideas and reworking some of them ... I am going to continue to just be and listen to what God is saying. I do not want to offer a place where there is so much happening that I lose the initial instructions from God . He said to offer a place where women could come and just be. That is my intent . O Lord, may you find me faithful to this.

I came across something I journalled in summer of 2002. Seems I always have a tendency to run hard and then realize I am not taking time to have my quiet time with the Lord. Today, He has spoken again, and well, after two full FULL days of work - I am so glad I can have the quiet time - and to hear him loud and clearly saying ... JOY JUST BE ... be still.

Thought I would share this writing with you - if you wish to read it! As we go into the Long weekend - may you find the time to just be ... and to be able to rest, renew and relax! Enjoy "be-ing" ...

With Him

Lord?

Lord? Are you there?

Yes my child ~ but where have you been?

I've missed you

It's been a few days since you and I

have really spent some quality time together.

Father, please forgive me.

I haven't intended to be neglectful

I love you Lord

But my life just got full ...

I've been running with all kinds of things that occupy my life

I have been so tired and ...

My child, I don't need to hear your excuses, its okay

I am just so glad we are communing again

I long to walk with you

There is so much I have to give you

SO much I want to tell you

Ah, here I am Father

It feels so good to be here

Just rest in my presence dear

Quiet yourself

Lay your head against me, and just "be"

Don't let your head run with schedules, or lists, or plans

Just enjoy my presence, and our time together

Lord, I can feel your arms around me

I can't see you, but I feel like I am wrapped tightly in your embrace
Yes my child, just like a parent holds their child

And Lord, your shoulders are so big...

Big enough to carry all your cares and concerns,
and still have room for you to lean your head on

Father?

Yes?

There is something I feel as I rest against you ~

It feels like the beating of your heart

Can you feel it my child?

Yes Lord, I can.

It is my heart and it beats with a passion for you my child.

Feel it ... let it become one beat with yours

Know that my ways, I want to be your ways too.

It beats with love.

Love that is everlasting and overflowing

It pulses with grace ~ that is abundant and full

Don't rush away my child

Just rest here

Rest in my love

Just "be"

Renew your spirit and refresh your weary soul

And then Joy ~ go out and share me with others around you

oh and one more thing...

hurry back to me

I am missing you already.

I love you

written in the summer of 2002

but resonating strongly in the summer of 2011!

reliving the "old" days

2011-07-27T01:12:00.000-05:00

So last week Alvin told me that Tim (my youngest brother aka the "baby brother") said we should take his brand spankin new Victory motorcycle out and go cruisin'. On Saturday, Jody followed up to make sure we were taking Tim up on the offer. (Tim was out of town on a golf tournament). So, we decided that we would take it out Sunday afternoon. We spoke with friends ahead of time, and in the end, went cruising with Wayne and Jo (on their bike) and Willy and Betty (in their little convertible).

Now first of all - I have to tell you this just isn't ANY motorcycle. It is a brand new - shiny black/chrom Victory cycle by Polaris. I had to laugh because well, if any of you know my little brother when he was just old enough to talk, he has always been a dedicated, true Polaris fan! I think it all started because Dad sold Polaris (was head of the Polaris plant that was built in Beausejour and ran for about 5 years or so). When Tim was little (knee-high to a grasshopper) he would not let my mom cover him with a yellow blanket because "those were Ski-doo colors!!" and when my dad phone home once, Tim was overheard saying "And Daddy, I didn't say ski-doo once!" SO needless to say - it is just in this guys genes!! ANYHOW... his long awaited dream came true and he is the very proud owner of this beautiful bike! The one that he let us take (and it was HIS suggestion).... and since we used to have a motorcycle - Alvin still has an active license for driving, and we were very excited about the adventure. So, the four of us on bikes, followed the little red convertible through twists and turns, over beautiful country.

We rode, we stopped for ice-cream, we rode, we stopped for supper, and we rode some more! By the time we brought it back - I will admit, my butt and back were sore. I know I am out of shape - but really? I didn't know I would feel it so much after riding a motorcycle!! And that is WITH a nice seat and back rest!

For a couple years I have been telling Alvin that we should buy a bike. And then well, I thought we should buy a convertible. I think for us, (or for me especially) a convertible would be a better choice!
I would hate to think I am too old and out of shape for motorcycling ... but I think (I feel) I am.

Thanks Tim and Jo for lending and encouraging us to borrow Tim's bike!
Love you guys!

Remembering our little Jay Benjamin Klassen ~ born three years ago today

2011-07-24T00:55:00.002-05:00

I would love to share with you again, the beautiful pictures taken by our family friend Jeremy.

You can still watch the dvd which he lovingly put together, and has kept on the internet.

The song still speaks deeply into my being.

Check out jeremyhiebert.ca/jaybenjaminklassen

(this label was one that I sewed on, and wrote a little message on for our little grandson Jay. The message was written on a piece of my grad dress. I wanted a "little piece of Granny" to be with our little guy no matter where he went with his blanket. Jay was lovingly wrapped up in the blanket that I made with so much love.)

Our little Grandson ~ Jay Benjamin Klassen

July 24th, 2008

Dear Little One

how much we miss you

not a day goes by

that we don't think of you

and our hearts don't ache to hug you

Jay Benjamin Klassen

what a sweet boy you would be

if you had stayed here with us

but what an amazing boy

you are

in the presence of Jesus

the One who created you

and the One who took you home to be with Him

before you were even born

We still don't understand

and yet we trust

We still weep

but not as those who have no hope

We still imagine

what you would look like

how fast you would run

the sound of your voice

the way you would hug your mommy and daddy

and how you would play with your little brother Everett

We wish you were here

the depth of our pain is still greatly felt,

daily we continue on in our journey of grieving

and God is carrying us

We know that for sure.

Poppa and I speak your name often

We watch other little children

and wonder aloud at what you would be doing...

thinking...

saying...

I wonder how many dandelions you would bring

in a bouquet for your mommy.

I wonder how many tools you would take of your daddy's.

I wonder how many pushes Poppa would have given you on a swing

I wonder how many times I would have whispered in your ear

"Jay, Granny loves you!"

Or how many time I would cuddle and sing to you!

I imagine the treasures that your mommy would find in your pockets

And the bottom line is

Poppa and Granny miss you so terribly much

We will always miss you

but one day

we will see you again

And then sweet Grandson

We will hug you tightly when we see you in Heaven.

But for today

I know you are with Jesus

and with your great grandparents

I know that you are having the time of your life there

And that makes me imagine

and smile

But I still miss you

so terribly

terribly

much.

Jay Benjamin

I love you sweet one!

Jesus - please tell him just how much!

love

Granny

James calling...

2011-07-23T23:08:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness. What is happening to me? Am I really losing it? (okay, don't all say yes at this point!) I am thinking that life has just become a little "full" .

This morning I did have the alarm set. Alvin came home from work as the alarm was going off. I kept snoozing. The wind coming in through the bedroom window was absolutely wonderfully cool. It was a nice break after the hot humid weather we have been having.

All of a sudden I hear my phone ringing. By the time I got to it - it had stopped ringing. I looked at the number displayed and thought it was one more of those telemarketer calls. But thought I would check the voicemail "just in case." That is when I heard James' voice. James. My boss. He left a message just wondering if I was okay, as I was on the schedule for today but wasn't it.

Well - 15 minutes later... I was in at work. 15 minutes! To change, and to leave. All the way wondering what the heck happened and WHY I forgot? I have changed a few shifts lately, including a Saturday shift in August. (perhaps that mixed me up) Thing is - it was on my daytimer... I just for some reason had not checked and had actually told someone that I "didn't work until Monday".

Oh Joy... :(

When I got into work - everyone that knew I was MIA was relieved to see me. Rose, my co-worker texted and called. She was concerned. One of my co-workers told our charge nurse "that was unlike Joy". Oh, you bet it is.

You see, yesterday I was talking with Rose, Debbie and Lesley and made the comment "I have never been sick or late since I started". And then ... this morning happened!

You have heard of the saying PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL?
hmmm..... experienced it first hand today. Thankfully my boss said not to worry ~ "it happens".
I hope that it doesn't happen again!

the birds upon the treetop

2011-07-22T12:45:00.001-05:00

When I was a little girl (53 now, so that means many moons ago!!) I used to sing a song called "The Birds Upon the Treetop" or (Birdies in the Treetop) and while it is just a short short chorus - it has stuck with me. I first found myself singing it when my grandson was born and I would hold him. It just came out, this old song. Thing is, I found that if he was a little bit restless, he would settle right down when I sang this little tune.

As he has grown I have continued to sing it again, and again, and again. Yesterday I was in the park with him, and I am sure I pushed him in the swing for half an hour straight. He was looking at everything as he swung in the little bucket swing. He pointed to the moon. He sees each plane that flies even before we do. He loves to watch the birds and turns toward the sound of them. He just swung and swung, and I said "Should Granny sing" and he smiled and shook his head "yes".
So, I sang the song:

The birds upon the treetop sing their song

The angels chant their chorus all day long

The flowers in the garden blend their hue

So why shouldn't I

Why shouldn't you

Praise Him too.

He swung, I sang. We called birds (that's what we call it when he makes little screams) and listened for them. We pointed to the planes, and looked at the moon! That was part of yesterday.

Today, I came to watch him while Leah did some errands and met a girlfriend for lunch. (working only part-time has its perks for me!) And we played, and we read books, and we sang. It was so funny because as I sang it, he went into this little "quiet spell" and just listened. I loved it when it sounds like he is trying to sing along with me. After lunch, we got ready for his nap. He ran and got his blankie, and we picked a book (which he laughed through as each new page was turned) and then I sang to him my favorite song (yep, the birdies one...) He cuddled up against me, and hunkered in close and quiet. I sang it three times, told him "time for sleep time, Granny loves you" and laid him down in his crib. Once again this little song did its little trick.

It is funny how, in this day and age with all kinds of music - and with all the actions and wild lyrics, the one that settles is just pure and simple. Just me and my little grandson praising Him too!!

Pure and simple delight!

lately

2011-07-20T13:54:00.000-05:00

Not sure what is with me ~ whether it is the heat (which we pay to have in winter!) or what (still struggling with fatigue due to low iron) BUT whatever it is - I am finding that lately - I am NOT in a routine or a "disciplined" lifestyle and so a few things go by the wayside including (I hate to say) my time with the Lord. Why is it - the things I LOVE to do - I struggle to do! O Father, forgive me!

I have decided to get back into the Psalms. I used to use the Psalms daily - and sometimes I would go "ah, yes, this one is for me" and my heart would truly sing! Other times the Psalms were used as my "lament" when my heart was heavy and tears were many. And then other times, I would read the Psalm and wonder what in the world it meant for me today!

So - I am getting back into them, and I will also be using some of Beth Moore's study called STEPPING UP ~ a journey through the Psalms of Ascent.

I want to share something she writes. I read this and it was like an "aha" moment - and resonated deeply within my heart. (My heart which I feel is parched like our gardens are in this intense heat wave we are experiencing). Thing is - I know the one who can quench the thirst and fill me to overflowing. O dear Jesus ... I need you.

Here is what Beth Moore says in her intro of her stepping up manual.
"I expect nothing less than a new level of intimacy with God through these pages. I ask you to settle for nothing less as well. The more we bare our souls to God, the safer we'll feel with Him and the closer we'll draw to Him. If we'll let Him, God will turn each of us into true worshipers, fully released to celebrate Him, reverence Him, laugh with Him, cry with Him, and even make our complaints to Him. God is our hiding place. Our shelter through the storm. Let's find Him in a way we've not yet known."

Oh Lord Jesus ... yes. I say YES Lord - I want to love you more fully, get to know you more intimately, and ask you to refill, refuel and renew me!

Exit Stage Left

2011-07-13T00:20:00.000-05:00

When I was young (some days it seems like a LONG time ago!) I used to watch cartoons with Snagglepuss in them. He used to always say - EXIT STAGE LEFT (or maybe it was stage right?) Whatever.... I had an "aha" moment the other day.

I was leaving for work, bright and early on Friday morning, and I had this moment where God used some thing that I do every day - to speak into my life! God is SO like that!!

I walked down the hall - took the elevator down to the parking floor - and got out of the elevator at "P" ... and it was so weird, every time I get to the parking level - I want to walk out and turn right! EVERY TIME!! I think it is because when I go up to the condo - that is what I do. I get out and turn right since the condo is down the hall to the right!

Anyhow, when I realized that the other morning (my inclination to go right all the time) it made me think of when we went with the kids to Florida in 2005. Josh decided that since he read that everyone normally goes right at the theme parks - we went left! And of course - we did encounter less traffic, and shorter lines (although at times it did feel like a salmon going upstream!).

This made me think about our lives and how we somehow want to keep repeating our same mistakes - or we want to keep on turning right when we know we should be heading the other way. Somehow it is just easier to do the same thing over and over - by rote! (even if sometimes it is not the BEST thing to do!) Why is it that we are such creatures of habit! We like to pick the easy way - instead of the road less travelled.

Sometimes following Jesus Christ seems like it is hard - but eventually, as we make His Way OUR way - it will feel more and more like the ONLY way, which is what it really is! I can hardly wait for that moment when there is nothing else I want more - each step of my day, than constantly turning to follow HIM ~ no matter where the crowd is going! He said "I am the way, the truth and the life - no one comes to the Father except through me!"

Wherever He goes - I want to follow!! Exit - Stage "JESUS"

sitting at the Bean

2011-07-05T16:20:00.001-05:00

I am back at the "bean". MOUNTAIN BEAN that is. I was here this morning with my good pal Kim, and it was good to sit outside under the umbrella, with enough sunshine on us to make us enjoy it. A good cup of coffee and two hours later, and we hugged good-bye and went on our way. However, now I have a little time to kill - I still need to walk, but wanted to stop for a quick iced tea and a little time to write.

Writing seems to take time lately. I don't want to be someone who just blogs for the sake of blogging. I also sometimes wonder what my kids will do with my journals when I am gone! HOWEVER I have found that lately my writing has been decreased. I bemoaned that to my husband yesterday "I have not been writing in my journal as much lately." To which he said, "I noticed". Knowing that he HAS NEVER read my journal (although I have sometimes read entries TO him) I wondered how he knew this. He said that he notices that my journal has sat in the same place for days. Which he then assumed meant that I had not written in it for days. And well - he is right.

Normally I am into my 3rd journal by July... and I am just nearing the end of my first. This isn't that big of a deal, however I know that I journal MORE when I spend more time with the Lord ... and I will say that has been lacking too.

It seems that as much as I hate to admit that I like routine - I really do. And in the past year I have realized how little routine I have in my life. When I look back to when I finished pastoring and began walking in my journey, I stepped out of "routine" and into a new routine which meant alot of walking in the back forty as I called our acreage in Anola. It meant alot of talking with the Lord - alot of reading my Bible, alot of just "snuggling" up to him and resting in his presence. It meant that I could go out on my deck with my coffee, bible, journal and a few cups later wrap up my QT with the LORD and feel refreshed, rejuvenated and refueled!

But my life had a major change in it - and looking backwards, I see that the first change was never quite worked through when another one came and another, and other.

I spent July packing and moving. August 1st we woke up in our kids loft - our new home. HUGE HUGE CHANGE after living 27 years in our Anola home! Less than two weeks later Mom K went into the hospital and I spent a good portion of almost every day over the next 10 weeks in her room at Seven Oaks Hospital. I would not trade that time for anything - and I was so glad I was able to do it HOWEVER I really had not even learned how to adapt to life in the loft ... Then two weeks with Mom at home before she went "home" t be with Jesus. ANOTHER HUGE CHANGE ~ adapting to life without our last parent here! A few months later we moved again ... this time into Mom's condo (March to present and likely till August 31st when the new owner takes possession). We moved into Mom's condo with laundry baskets (how optimistic !!) and our possessions have morphed into her space. On top of that, we had another terribly hard and HUGE change ~ we changed churches after being at McIvor for 32 years. That was so hard. You just don't leave "family" on a whim. It is something we wish we never had to do - ever ... and yet the blessings have come from that. (we thank God for our invitation into a care group at Eastview!)

Then ... Toss a couple holidays (Mexico with our family and Alaska with our friends) and a new job (Nov 16 till now) and sometimes I understand why there is no routine! Thing is... I don't feel good about it. Like I said in my resignation at McIvor - I do fly by the seat of my pants often but I do still like my "ducks in a row" and honestly there is not a single duck lined up in my life right now! Okay, may-be one ....

I am only working part time so you figure I would be able to get into routine...
You figure I would get my QT into a pattern because I LOVE spending that time with the LORD...
You would figure I would get my exercise time down pat ...
You would figure I would have LOTS of time to journal ...

Looking backwards there are alot of things I still can't believe have happened. My breath still gets taken away when I think of the biggest loss in our life, our little grandson. I still want to ask God "why" ... but find that I don't do the asking as often. I see how even in the out of routine life - God has carried me, walked me, held me through the change. And boy is there change. For the most part - it is "inside me" and you may not be able to "see" it unless you are close to me ... but I am a different woman.

While I sit at the bean - I remember the times I sat here - often 5 times in a week - often having my early morning QT outside around their patio table. Precious times. Journal filling times!
I really want those back. I don't like the unsettled feeling I get from having an undisciplined no-routine routine!! Thing is - I know the Lord wants me to spend more time again. So ... what is taking me?

Good question!

Perhaps as I sit and drink this iced tea, I can ponder that question AND perhaps I will close this computer and pull out my journal and bible beside me!

May you have the chance to sit - and think.

To ponder and pray.

To read and reflect!

BUT most of all
To sit and snuggle on the lap of God!!

thoughts, musings & the odd butterfly along the journey

30 things about my Son

Wednesday with Everett and Roger

Welcome to the World Little One: Roger Thomas Klassen

transformation

Romans 7:15-25

the First of 66 Love Letters

Genesis 1:1-2

Genesis 1:1-2

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.[a] 2The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.

finally a "resolution" for 2012

Reflecting back to Sunday's Sermon: Seizing God's Moment for You

2012 ~ welcome January!

Christmas reflections ... leading up to the end of 2011

Isaiah 9:6

lulling myself to sleep

Philippians 4:8

updating my wish list

Our little "sweetness" turns 2

My Christmas WiShLiSt

just something about the past three weeks...

we remember

timing is everything even when we think the timing is all wrong

our sweet little man

doing the unexpected

hello tuesday

Hebrews 13:5

Turn Your Eyes

my sweet man (a fun post/video for today)

No Doubt

compassion beyond measure

To what degree do you believe you want this in your life?

Where Everyone Knows Your Name

Lucille ~ an unexpected friendship

Out Walking on the First Day of Fall 2011

22 things about Yesterday

the cookies!

I have just been thinking ...

creation speaks without saying a word

drawn to this psalm

Psalm 145 from The Message

David's Praise

nothing but the sound of the fan and the sunbeams through the window

those that wait upon the Lord ~ (oh Lord, please help me)

Blessed daily by Faye's "FAITH"

Hello Monday

neTTLes

Today I began my day with Isaiah 55: 10 - 13 and it seemed like I was reading the Word with new eyes. Here is the Scripture in two versions: The Message and also New Living Bible. I like to often read it in The Message because Eugene Peterson just seems to bring it to everyday language.

Isaiah 55:10-13

Isaiah 55:10-13

sympathesizing with the TIN MAN

looking up

NOT impressed but impressed

Soul Care 101 by Dr. Larry Crabb

just be

reliving the "old" days

Remembering our little Jay Benjamin Klassen ~ born three years ago today

James calling...

the birds upon the treetop

lately

Exit Stage Left

sitting at the Bean

¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.^[a] ²The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.