Lose It For Life

Lose it for life -- the name of a book I am reading, a workbook that I am doing, a website that I check into, and a ministry that offers small group coaching with a counsellor, and with others that become an accountability group. Lose if for life... it is my prayer that this will be the year of my life that I do lose it.. the weight that is.
You see, my weight has become like a millstone around my neck. I realize how much it impacts my decisions, my activity, my attitude, my mood, my relationships with my family and friends, and yep, my checkbook.
The other day, as I was rereading an old journal, I realize that this is a struggle that I have had most of my life. I also realize that it is a struggle that is for me, very much spiritually linked. I realize it is all about surrender.
Surrender, a word that we don't use very often. Even now again as I write this, the words from an old hymn surface... all to Jesus, I surrender, all to him I freely give...
Hmmmm.... seems that I have been surrendering very little lately. I have held on to my feelings, my hurts, my dreams, my desires.... perhaps journalling them, but holding them dear to me. Especially when they are tied up in the way I feel about myself, or about how discouraged I feel about myself, or the things that I have not done well. But I realize that He is My Strength... so what is the problem. My questions continue to be "God, why can I not claim victory through this stronghold?" "Why do I continue to give it to you, only taking it back a while later?" "Why do I continue to see comfort in the thing that only comforts for the moment (food) and then causes such great distress?"

I began small group coaching last night, and have felt so encouraged. It was life-giving. I don't know why it was so different.. but it was. I have encouragment through my immediate family, and thank God for that. My kids and husband are very encouraging, but somehow this group I think will be the additional key to get me through. I pray that it will be. Lord, thank you for Lose It For Life minsitry. Thank you for the new friends I have made through this ministry and its extensions. Thank you that today, I feel like there is new hope. Thank you for speaking to me through words and affirmation in scripture, through my family, and through my new friends who are helping to keep me accountable. Lord, be my strength. My fortress. Help me to run to you, and not to food!!

My goal is 55 pounds. My temporary goal is 20. I also have a goal for January 13th when I board the plane for Thailand. It is about 9 weeks away. Who knows what I will be down, but I hope it is good! May this be the start of the rest of my life!
I want to live a strong and healthy life. I want to be able to help my kids, play with my grandkids (whenever I get them) and to enjoy life to the max with my husband.
I want to be WHOLE - emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
Lord, be the center of all things in my life. Thank you in advance for all that you are going to do in and through me and my family. Glory to God!