Today is one of those days... actually, it is early Saturday morning, but I am still unwinding from Friday. I have had a hard time sleeping lately, so perhaps if I delay it a little, the night will be better. I am just thinking back to today, and how I was in contact with several amazing women in my life. My daughters Ashley and Leah... first texts, a phone call, a short visit, and a movie and dinner in that order. It was good to hug them, and visit with them, and go see a movie with Leah, since both of our guys are at work tonight. During the day, I heard by email from Judy - and I had the gift of a good cup of coffee and a chat with Jeannette at Starbucks. Later, a short visit at Ash and Mike's with Ellen. As I sit here and recount the women in my life TODAY... God, you are so good to me! Women of all ages, women that bring a breath of air into my life.
I also have more women who speak into my life, like my sisters, my close friends - especially Josie, and Kim, who call often throughout the week. And of course there are others. Too many to name.... God, how blessed I am! And then, there is the latest gift to me, in the form of our counsellor Mary. I never knew how important she would become in our lives, helping us work through our grief.
Today as I spoke with Jeannette over our large cups of coffee, we talked about where God is at in our lives. We shared insights that we have learned lately. We laughed. We cried. We talked about our kids (who are just recently married to one another!). Jeannette told me how I was an answer to her prayer today. Imagine that!
I realize alot through my friends. They make me laugh, they allow me to cry. They pray with me. Sometimes they just listen and say nothing. I realize that my friends affirm who I am, sometimes challenge what I do, or how much I do something.
I realize that just when I am feeling down, my friends seem to know when to call. I realize that my friends dare to step into the uncomfortable zones, especially lately since my little grandson was born silently. (12 weeks ago yesterday).
I realize that sometimes I take my friends for granted. Sometimes I say things that may be hurtful. Sometimes it seems, especially lately that my "filters" have come off! I realize that if a person doesn't have friends, they would be very lonely.
One of my friends Josie, has been my best friend for 40 years. I think over the times that we have spent together, and the crisis that we have supported one another through over the years. Amazing. 40 years!! That is 4/5ths of my life!! It was Josie who came with me to pick out the flannel for the little quilt I made for my grandson Jay, the one that he was wrapped in. Josie helped me pick out the combination of "blue" flannel, and showed me how to cut the squares, and figure out how to make the first quilt of this kind for me!
I also realize that God has been able to use me in my friends lives as well. Today Jeannette and I were talking about when we were able to visit and pray together years ago, before we even became good friends! I realize that in those times when I visited Judy as she was struggling through chemo, that her friendship blessed me in so many ways... and I always thought I was going to take God's blessing to her!! I realize that Kim has been there for me in many ways over the last 30 years of so... but I will never forget those times when she and Linda cared for me, came and did laundry and made supper, when I was too sick to even hardly get off the couch! I realize how the women in my care group have been very practical in their outreach to me and Alvin through all of our crisises. I thank God for my friend Jeanne, who dares to ask questions that perhaps others only think but never ask. Jeanne makes me laugh alot... and she also shares my love for chocolate!! Then there is my sister in law Corinna, who I have come to know in a totally new way since Jay died, as she has shown me that even though it is hard, it is so worth it to put yourself out there, and walk alongside of a grieving person! How often I open up my email to find an email from her, just asking how I am. Like I said before, there are way to many good friends to mention, and I hope that if one of you reads this, and doesn't see your name, you aren't offended... time just doesn't allow me to say something about each one!
Friends are one of the greatest gifts a person can have. Blessings that God gives to us. God, thank you for each friend that you have given to me... each person that has enhanced my life in ways that are too numerous to recount. May you give me strength Lord, to be the type of friend that you want me to be. To love unconditionally, and to be there when I am needed. Give me grace, give me understanding, show me O Lord, when to just listen, and when to speak. Lord, please also show me when I need to apologize for being insensitive.. that happens with friends too unfortunatley. And please Lord, help me to bring my friends before your throne as you lay them on my heart. Thank you Father God... for friends and family - all ages, all types, all gifts. Amen.
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