March 21st, 2006 - around noon - I almost died. Thing is, I didn't realize that I was so close to death. I remember some of it - the pain I was in (this was my second hospital stay in less than a year) - and the nurses being so late with my morphine...and I remember crying and rocking in pain as I waited.
Then I remember my friend Lena coming in and saying hi. And my friend Tim -- I remember he got some warm blankets out of the warming unit in the hall. And then I vaguely remember my sister Heather giving me some water on a sponge.
March 21st - a Tuesday. She had come and checked in on me in the early morning before she started work. She visited for a while and then said she would be back to see me at the end of the day. But Heather told me that at noon, God made it clear to her that she needed to go and see me. And, when she did, I was rather "blue".
I guess I didn't look so good - and not much like me. Actually I heard that my friend Tim didn't recognize me and thought he was in the wrong room.
I remember the flurry of doctors and nurses... asking me if I knew where I was...getting oxygen on me. I was told my oxygen in my blood was down to 40%. My husband said it wouldn't have been too much longer for me.
I am so glad that my sister listened to the prompting of God... and apparently He was not done with me yet.
Three years later, I am thankful. Thankful that I am here, and healthy. Okay, except for the fibromyalgia pain and 50 lbs that I want to lose and I am working on!!
I am thankful that my children still have me as their mom... that my husband still curls up with me at night... that I have friends and extended family that love on me.
I am thankful that I have become a grandmother to the most perfect little guy, although that dream was cut short. I am thankful that I will see my grandbaby Jay again in Heaven. I am thankful that I have been able to enjoy seeing my kids build their house, and move into it, that I have been able to watch my baby girl get married, and that I can hug up my new son Michael. I am thankful that God has gathered my tears, and shown me his mercy and grace. I am thankful that lately, we have heard laughter in our family once again. I am thankful that my friends love me and stand around us, "lifting our heads". I am thankful that I wake up each morning to the promise of another day, and another chance at living all out.
I am thankful that God is going to give us more miracles in our family, and that He is helping me trust, and wait - even when the waiting is so very hard at times.
I am thankful that He continues to carry me when I am too tired to walk, and that sometimes He just holds me.
Today, three years later, three years older, three years wiser in many ways, God, I am so thankful....................
me too
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