...the great sadness...

I read my daughter's blog today www.lovelikethat.blogspot.com
I am often amazed at how Ashley and I think the same way - now the thing is, often it is BEFORE I see her blog, or vice versa. She blogged about the "great sadness" and an excerpt out of the book THE SHACK.

I bought this book last year, and the day that Jay was born, I had my journal and THE SHACK with me - as we waited for him to be born, Alvin was reading the book, and I was journalling. That was the last day that we read it - and only decided to resume/pick up reading when we went to Cuba. Alvin read it first, and then me - well, I finally finished it a couple weeks ago. I loved it - it spoke to me - and yes, I realize that not everyone would ever want to even consider God the Father - in the form of a black woman - but you know, the way the author wrote about the relationship between the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit - and things that expressed the Holy Spirit - they really spoke to me.

Thing is, I also resonated with how he talked about "the great sadness" - and that is what Ash wrote about today (check her blog) or perhaps yesterday it was -
And, that is how I have been feeling - yesterday I texted Alvin while he was at work and said I feel like I am in a deep deep fog.... NOT depression (I also remember what that feels like) but in the "great sadness" and as my Grandson's birthday approaches - it seems to get deeper.

Today it feels the same - like all the life has been sucked out of me - like I am moving on rote - and I don't like that feeling - not one bit.
But that being said, today I sang with everything I had in me - to Travis Cottrell's song - I AM PERSUADED -
"nothing in life, nothing in death - no mountain high, or ocean depth. No power below on earth or above - can separate me from your love!! I believe beyond a shadow, You never will forsake me. And your love endures forever - when all my strength is gone. I believe your love will carry me and hold me close - I am persuaded - nothing in life - nothing in death - no mountain high, or ocean depth. no power below on earth or above - can separate me from your love!!"

I have to keep reminding me - because sometimes - this great sadness - it is overwhelming -
thank you for your prayers on my behalf, and that of my family!