Today was full and yet not. How does that work you may ask. Well - it was full in an emotional sense. I met with my friend Mary today. Mary is also my counsellor, and I thank God for her. Over a good cup of Starbucks coffee - we sat and talked... okay, I talked more. It was good. Good to hear that I am not crazy - I am just thinking through many things. It was so good to visit again. I thank God for Mary.
Today I thought about my dad alot. Today I thought about changes that have happened in my life. Today I thought about hurts that continue to bob to the surface like a balloon that one tries to keep hidden under the water...
Today I revisited my time at the School of Spiritual Direction, and I can see where the Holy Spirit is definitely "settling" things down in my being.
Today I realized that I just really REALLY want to DANCE!! I mean, dance with the Trinity!! Dance with abandon - because of the joy that overflows from the Lord, through the Holy Spirit into me!! I want to kick off my shoes so to speak, and dance in my bare feet!! To move, to breath in and feel the beat of the music of Heaven!! O Lord - teach me to dance with my whole being - with wild abandon! To dance because of the joy you give to me!!
Today I realized that I want to praise God - and that I have not been doing as much praise lately, having felt caught up in my own thoughts of discouragement. Dr. Crabb said that our "spirit of entitlement" destroys our "spirit of gratitude" and that is so true.
Today I began sewing my Grandbaby's quilt together - and hope that I will have it all sewn up by tomorrow - I can hardly wait to see it coming together - so far I have just been sewing the x's across each individual square. It is a therapy in itself - and a time to pray with each stitch!!
Today I was sitting here at the computer when I noticed the most amazing sight out my window - the sun was setting and shining "gold" across the top of the trees... I took the picture but it hardly compares to the real thing... it was brilliant!!
I couldn't help but think that it was a "kiss" from God. Guess He knew how much I needed that!!
Today I decided that I needed to give in to the nudge from the Spirit that I have been aware of since last week. I don't want to make it more "spiritual" or "holy" than it is or isn't.... all I know is that He is making me aware that I need to not blog - or facebook for a while. For this week. Why? I am not positive - but I think that perhaps it is all about just spending time NOT on the computer but instead with HIM .... I think it is all about freeing up some time (computer is a great waster or time, especially with "dial up" networking....
So - I am going to leave you with this blog, and with the picture from today.
I am going to ask you, if you want to - to pray that I would be open to whatever it is God wants to share with me. I want to hear him.... I want to experience him...I also realize that our walk with the Lord is not always about the "experience".... sometimes we just have to be still and know that He is God. I think giving up blogging and facebook is a big part about "being still"... so, I am going to do it. I will tell you a little confession - part of me, a big part is resisting... afterall, being that I am not working on the outside so to speak - I am not with people alot, and I miss that.
Please pray that we would continue to trust him for the next steps. As Leah put it on Saturday - we have been trusting God with next steps in the journey for the women's ministry - and then I quit my job, and put our house up for sale - it feels like we have really stepped out - or taken a huge leap of faith.... and now at times it feels like we are in this long free fall - waiting for God... O Lord God, please help me to grow during this time - as I wait, read, pray, study, write, think, ....all of it!
I think He has something in store - time will tell. I just feel like I need to obey.
So with that I sign off until next Monday morning....
If you want to get a hold of me - please email.... alvinjoy@mts.net
I am checking email.
Oh, and please pray as our plans for the retreat center are coming closer and closer to completion. This is exciting. Talk soon!
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