cleaning out the closets!

Well, we are under the 1 month timeline until we are out of this old house! Bitter sweet for sure! I am at home today, and will begin some more purging of "paper junk" so that when the packing comes - we don't have to worry about stuff like this. You know old papers, receipts, junk... stuff you think you will file later! Yes I know that MANY of us have these "boxes" that we throw this type of junk into when company comes - and plan to get to it later.
I realized through a number of things this morning - that there is alot of stuff in our lives that we do that with.

I was hit smack dab between my eyes again this morning with some "stuff" that is still lingering inside of me ~ stuff I thought I did tend to, but really never got rid of. Back in November, when God called me to go and make the altar in the back forty, and name rocks, and set them down and give to Him, one of the rocks I actually wrote the word REJECTION on it. I thought I had dealt with it then, but over the past few weeks again, it has reared its ugly head. I think I blogged about the really hard visit with someone who had been a friend but things were terribly off when I visited with them. I felt rejection. Or when I went back into a certain physical place and saw people and experienced feelings of rejection. I know, I know - perhaps you think I am overly sensitive. However, these are my feelings, and they are very real to me.

So it was that this morning when I sat down to have my QT with the Lord - I also use a devotional that Beth and Amanda Moore put together. And the next devotional in it was called "REJECTED" I had a sense that God really wanted me to finally deal with it - to let that stone I placed "stay there" in His hands.

It was one of those "aha" moments... or should I say many aha moments! Beth began with the sentence "few of us will embrace the challenge of being rejected." Well, that doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why! Rejection feels awful. It is a very lonely feeling, believe me (in case you are lucky enough to have never dealt with it in any form).

But then she wrote "a vital and admittedly painful part of God's conforming process in our lives is our willingness to fellowship with Christ in His sufferings."

Somehow this really struck me. Our willingness? In my journal I wrote "sometimes we just do what we have to and personally don't think of whether I am willing or not. But yes, Jesus was the capstone the builders rejected! O Lord, you knew all about rejection over and over! No wonder you called me to lay it down. To Name it and lay it down - giving it to You!

In the devotional she talked about how for the Hebrew people - "they shared a sense of community with which we have little to compare in our society. To be excluded from the fellowship and acceptance of that community was considered a fate worse than death by many!"

In some small ways... I felt like I had felt that feeling. I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but honestly, it feels awful. Like a big deep wound with a scab that continues to get caught and slightly ripped off so that it never quite heals.

The next "aha" moment came when I read what she wrote next. Beth Moore talks about how getting over rejection IS possible but is only possible "by applying large doses of God's love to your wounded heart daily and by allowing Him to renew your mind until the REJECTED thinks like the ACCEPTED!" Okay, isn't that an amazing quote!! Until the REJECTED thinks like the ACCEPTED! I love that!

She ended with "FIND YOUR IDENTITY IN HIM"

At that point, I spent time in out loud prayer with my Lord! As I conversed with God, tears streamed and streamed down my cheeks. I honestly felt like God washed the rejection, the hurt, the pain away. When we were done a while later, I felt like a different person. I realize that transformation or conforming to be what He wants me to be - is not an easy process. In fact sometimes there is a conscious thought that perhaps it would be easier to just carry on in my own strength, but I know where that gets me! I was reminded again this morning about one of my favorite scriptures...


Isaiah 43 (The Message)

Isaiah 43
When You're Between a Rock and a Hard Place
1-4 But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you!
I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
5-7"So don't be afraid: I'm with you.

Isaiah 43 (New Living Translation)

Isaiah 43
The Savior of Israel
1 But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
2 When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place.
4 Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.


I realize that today God spoke to me about cleaning up not just the paper junk in my life - but the thought closets too, and I am so thankful that before my day began, I made the decision to sit down and spend time in the Word and with the Lord.

Now.... onto that paper junk! Wish me luck with that!