transformation

I have thought about transformation lately.  Sometimes I am even unaware of transformation that is happening in me.  At other times I wish transformation would happen overnight and get easily and quickly disillusioned with the slow progress.  (transformation should be measureable somehow shouldn't it?)

I have sat with a friend who raises monarch butterflies and saw the beautiful "chrysalis" stage.  If you have never seen the green chrysalis with the thin gold line around it, you have to look into that!  (our God is such an amazing God, and the detail He puts into transformation is amazing!)

Today Pastor Dave delivered his part 1 sermon on Transformation (can hardly wait for next Sunday) and he talked about how "true transformation needs something greater than ourselves and our "will" to change.  Oh don't I understand that one!  He also asked those of us who have made resolutions and already broke them, to raise our hands.  Not sure anyone did!! But really, resolutions are about things we want to do/change in our lives, and I will speak for myself ~ it really is about my will!!  WHICH IS WHY AT THIS POINT I AM ALREADY FRUSTRATED WITH FALLING OFF THE WAGON so to speak, in regards to the resolution I may have made on Jan. 1. (then again, maybe I didn't write it down, so maybe it didn't count!)

I will be honest.  And it will be no surprise to anyone who knows me.  MOST OF MY LIFE I have struggled with weight.  Actually TOO MUCH WEIGHT.  I have done all kinds of things to bring about transformation in that department.  I have read (and bought more books than I have read) on weight loss.  I have paid more money than I care to think about trying to find the right program for me and my weight loss.  (In fact I have often joked that I likely own Weight Watchers or have a big share in the company).  I have wept over the dilemma.  I have made rules.  I have used systems where I checked off days exercised. I have ....(on and on and on!)

But today it made sense.  Pastor Dave referenced one of my favorite passages in Romans.

Romans 7:15-25

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power^[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

He talked about how we desire to do better ~ or be more ~ and yet how we continue to return to the very thing(s) that we don't want to return to!  He talked about how we "assert our will and draw on ourselves" to do the transformation but it just doesn't work!  He talked about how e were made by God to have our BODY ~ SOUL ~ MIND working together in harmony.  

Pastor Dave said that "true transformation needs something greater than yourself. "  Oh don't I know that one. I KNOW how much i need the Lord.   On the 26th of this month it will be 46 years since I knelt by my bed and asked Jesus to forgive my sin and be my personal Saviour.  I have walked with Him for a very long time.  I know that I have experienced great transformation in areas of my life.  I know that.  

I know that I need God in a big way in my life, but why why WHY in the area of weight, is the transformation NOT happening.  After all, haven't I given it to Him so that it could happen?   Why can't I experience transformation out of that big chubby cocoon stage into the transformed butterfly.

Side Note:  In the summer of '76 I think it was, someone sent me (in the mail) a cute little Hallmark book titled The Fable of Fat Fanny.  Fat Fanny was a caterpillar that ate herself into a cocoon frenzy.  All of Fat Fanny's worm friends laughed at her and called her names.  She ate herself through life, and then went and spun her cocoon only to emerge as a beautiful butterfly that took the breath away from all those who witnessed her transformation!  I am not sure why the sender sent me this cute (NOT) little Hallmark card/book, perhaps it was because they wanted to encourage me, or if there was some other hidden meaning in the Fable,  but I think I may still be dealing with some scar tissue over that one! 

Now Dave was not talking about my weight or anyone else's this morning.  He was talking about transformation.  It just happened that I had been having a little chat with Alvin this morning about my journey in making some changes to do with my health (wanting to be around for a long time yet) and then we get to the pews and the sermon was very relevant to me (and most likely the other few hundred in attendance this morning).  Paul, in Romans really says it the way I have often paraphrased.  "I always seem to be doing the things I do not want to be doing .... and the things I want to do - I keep screwing up on" .

It clicked again this morning.  I. CAN. NOT. DO. IT. IN. MY. OWN. WILL. It is all about letting HIM transform ME!!!    It is not all about what I want to do - need to do - it is about allowing God to make the transformation and allowing Him to change me in the process.  I guess I am more stubborn than I will admit.  For some reason I keep thinking it is ME that does it .. obviously which is why in 29 years I have not tasted success.

Okay, I am rambling again.  What else is new!  Bottom Line:  I do not want to be a slave to sin.  My stronghold with food is a spiritual struggle that I need to give to the Lord many times throughout the day!  True Transformation is greater than what I can do for me ... it is all about needing something greater than myself to have the transformation!  That something/someone greater is Jesus.

Pastor Dave encouraged us to "allow God to invade our heart" and to focus on Him (Jesus Christ) and to will that God would do the transformation that we are unable to do on our own.  (feeling a weight lift)  (sorry, a play on words!)  And in the end he encouraged us to do something that I had decided to do anyhow.  That being to memorize Scripture which will help us to keep Jesus as our focus.

So, this is a long blog post, but it was such a freeing sermon that I needed this morning.  Timely in regards to the discussion my husband and I had on the way into the city.  Interesting how God does those things!  Looking forward to the transformation!  The cocoon is getting way too tight!  (insert smile here)

thanks for listening,
Fat Fanny      
 Joy   :)