Friday, May 3

feeling out of sync - feeling messy

it happens easily ...
or that is how it feels
when my emotional, my physical, and my spiritual get out of sync
it is all so intertwined
when I don't eat right - I have pain (and man, do I have pain these days)
when I have pain - I sometimes feel emotionally messy
when I am emotionally messy I eat for comfort
when I eat comfort foods, I end up having more pain, and also feeling the reality of it becoming
more of a spiritual battle (in regards to filling my needs with food)
and then ...
well you get it.
feeling out of sync
feeling messy
again.
*sigh

in my life lately
there has been so much awareness of brokenness
in my circle of friendships and acquaintances
there has been so much grief
within that circle
broken marriages
walking away from christian values
loss of babies
physical health issues
parent/child issues
struggling relationships within families
within church families too
and
my heart aches

and right about this same time,
as my heart is broken for others
it also breaks for me
and I realize how much MORE
my heavenly Father's heart knows, and breaks, and loves ...
me
my friends
my acquaintances
the ones who feel downtrodden
abandoned
betrayed
unloved
forgotten
the ones who, like me - are perhaps feeling messy
because we feel out of sync inside
because we have our own stuff to bring and lay down before the feet of Christ
let alone our brokenness over others

feeling messy
is nothing new for me
in fact,
i usually can tell right away, almost upon waking
when i am in a funk (which is what I call it)
and it usually means
that i need to cry out even more often
to the one who knows all
hears all
answers all
sees all
and still loves me!!

He is my maker - my God - the great I AM.
And oh my heart -
I love him
My Lord and Saviour - Jesus Christ.

This song has been running through my heart this morning - thought I would share.




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