Selah

I grew up in a Brethren chapel, and my favorite time of my 20 years in the little church on Arlington Street was Sunday Morning "Breaking of the Bread" service.  I loved it for so many reasons.  I loved how the elders would announce the song out of the little "Believer's Hymnbook" and then pick the tune it would be sung to (we did not use an instrument for this service).  I loved how they would share something from the week - whether it be Scripture, or something they learned, or that God showed them.  I loved that at about 9:40, one of the elders would pray for the bread, and then come to the front and break the loaf in two, and send one plate on either side, for people to take a piece out of.

The bread symbolizing His body broken for us ...

And then right following another elder would say a prayer for the wine, and again, come and send a silver goblet filled with communion wine, one on either side ... (I think there was a reason my mom and dad and the family sat in the front pew lol).

I also loved hearing Scripture read from the old King James Version (since it was THE version to use then)  - and I remember when the Psalms would be read and some verses ended with the phrase "Selah".  Now adays some newer translations use the words: interlude or pause in His presence.

I love that -  "Pause in His Presence" ...

Looking up the definition of Pause - I found this on yourdictionary.com

Pause is defined as "a temporary stop or rest".  This is exactly what God has done for me since March 15th when I emailed everyone to cancel their retreats. While that afternoon was hard, I knew in my heart that God had something in store for the time we were closed.  God has given me a "Selah" ....

It has been (and continues to be) a BIG Pause for ministry here at the retreat house.  (Being that it is our personal home complicates the reopening - but it is okay.  I am at peace with that.).    I realize some people want need the retreat badly (especially for some after having to home school their kids unexpectedly.  (that would NOT have been easy for me to do even though I was a daycare director for 21 years!)

Who would have known that the virus we heard about while we sat in our hotel room with our grandchildren watching the news (while on vacation in Jan-Feb to Cuba) ... would create such pandemic!!  But none of that was outside the scope of what God knew, and God allowed.

SELAH ....  INTERLUDE ... PAUSE IN HIS PRESENCE

This post is about my selah experience ...

It began with the LORD making something very clear to me one day as I was having my Quiet Time with Him  (and I should look back as I may have blogged about this) ...  He told me one morning in April, as I was sitting in His presence, that I had not, because I had not asked.  This confused me, and I talked with the LORD about that.  I thought it was about healing for my brother-in-law who was dying of cancer.  But the LORD quickly told me, no, it was not that, but "You have not asked for my fullness" ...

Thus began the last few weeks (at this point almost 3 months) of sitting, seeking, listening to Him.  Let me tell you HE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT when we come to spend time with Him.  He has also made me fully aware that what He spoke to me back in fall of 2018 when I went to the silent retreat for women in Abbotsford, was now coming to fruition.  At that time He told me "I am calling you back to being a "Mary" ..."   At the time, with a full slate of retreaters and events and going into another year of retreats ... I seriously had not had time to even ponder those words.  But then came the PAUSE ...  and today I realize that I have been able to live a Mary-life these past few months.  Oh my soul - breathe!

I have found out many things about my LORD and Saviour Jesus over the past few months.  I will admit that these things are not new revelations.  I am just delighting more in them.  The fact that He wants an intimate relationship with me!!  Relationships take time - lots of time.  Lots of being with the other person.  Listening.  Sharing.  Human relationships have those aspects yet pale in what our relationship with Jesus is like!  Oh how I love Him.

I have delighted again over and over in the conversations that we have ... yes, I mean that.  And would love to have that conversation with you if you think God does not talk - because my friend - He sure does!!  I found that out in the early 90's and sometimes our time together knocks me off my feet - and I no longer have to think, "hmmm was that you LORD" because at this point - 30 years in of hearing His voice - I have to say, this SHEEP knows the voice of the Shepherd.

I have delighted in reading of His Word, and have come to learn about feasting on it.  I began an online reading plan - one year through The Word with Nicky Gumbel - the guy who wrote the Alpha Series and it is good.   I will admit, I dreaded the Deuteronmy and Leviticus readings - there is nothing easy about reading all the laws.  I am so glad with Jesus, we are not bound by laws but under his New covenant, we can live so differently.   Scripture comes alive - and I am enjoying those times.

And I am learning to feast on His word ... that one should have come earlier, but it has come about by going through a 40 Day Sugar Fast.   I put that off, tried it for a day, put it off again ... and then bit the bullet.  I have to say that thinking of the question "Do you love sugar more than you love God" really took the breath out of me.  I have to admit that the idea of fasting from sugar scared me ...

But in the process of that, I have come to see many things about myself.  And the biggest thing is that I did run to sugar before I ran to God.  (so much more to be shared if you wish over a cup of coffee if you want to hear more) .... I just shared that little bit to say that I have asked the LORD more and more to help me to feast on Him whenever I feel like running to sugar (and believe me we run to other things too, this was just my very obvious one)

In this Pause I have also grown more in love with my family - husband, kids, grandchildren ... as we have had to pause from so much else that has called us and begged of our time - and the pause has given us more time to spend together.  I thank God for each of them!

Yes, this Pause perhaps could have been a time of scrubbing walls, and washing windows, cleaning drawers, etc ... but instead it is a chair pushed so that it looks out the window, and a table that is often used to let people eat by the window, is now my place to sit and have my QT.  The beds are messy because the kids have played on them, and slept in them ... and there is Lego in the rooms as they have been able to built and leave it for the next time they are here.  This Pause has meant we are not hosting outsiders but the life inside of these walls has been rich - oh. so. rich.

I realize after saying this, that this was really a luxury in many ways, at at time when some were working their butts off.  Believe me, I am not flaunting this, nor am I taking it for granted.  But for me - I am recognizing it for what it was for me.  It was a "pause" that was really "forced on us" due to Covid-19.   The work I was doing came to an immediate halt.  And I realized how much I had really needed to breathe.  So, I am thankful and while,I have shared all this, please know that I am not at all bragging.  We all walk in our relationships with Jesus differently and grow and learn at different speeds even incur faith - I just wanted to share some of what I have gained from during this forced pause.

NOW THAT BEING SAID ...

 I also know that NOT EVERYONE COULD PAUSE like this.

I have friends who are nurses, and doctors ... friends who have worked in fire and paramedic ... friends who have worked in stores ....  YOU COULD NOT PAUSE!   In fact I am sure you wished for times to pause as I know your lives sped up.   Believe me, I am so thankful for you all.  I could mention names, but I know if you read this, you will know I am talking about you!!  (maybe even leave a heart on a comment or facebook or instagram so I know you read it) ... thank you so much for doing what you did ... for working non stop/overtime/crazy busy shifts.  YOU are the true heroes in all of this, and I hope somehow you are also able to pause and breathe!  

I wish to end this post with Scripture - may you be blessed by it!

With love,

j

Psalm 3: 3-4   The Passion Translation 

3 

But in the depths of my heart I truly know

that you, Yahweh, have become my Shield;

You take me and surround me with yourself.

Your glory covers me continually.

You lift high my head when I bow low in shame.

I have cried out to you, Yahweh, from your holy presence.

You send me a Father’s help.

Pause in his presence