9 years

This day - remains such a wonderful memory in my heart - as Mel and Grant got married
in Cuba.  Keri was so happy to be her sister's maid of honor and beamed with beauty!! 
It remains such an incredible family memory for me as we spent two weeks in Cuba with them.

There is so much we take for granted.  And there is so much that we encounter in life and never give two thoughts to.  And there is so much we hear about that pulls us back to the place that we were at when life stopped.  Today is one of those days and as I sit here thinking, I realize that the one constant through all of my life, is the LORD, and so often the strong arms of the Holy Spirit has been tangible.

9 years ago on this day, I was hosting my friend Sherry and we were chatting over a cup of tea for her, and coffee for me.  It was a sunny blue skied day.  She was catching me up on her life, as it had been a while since our paths had crossed.  Sherry got up to use the washroom, and my phone rang.  I will never in all my life forget that call and hearing the voice of my sister Heather on the other end telling me that her firstborn Keri Lee had been in an accident and was in emergency surgery as she spoke.  I told her I would be there. 

The ride felt like it took hours.  The walk through emergency and to the family room felt long.  The hugs to my sister, brother in law and niece felt like hardly enough.  But family does this - family is there for people in the deepest of pain.  A few years before that, I will never forget how the love of my sister (in my hospital room) literally I believe, saved my life (March 2006) ... but now, being there felt surreal.  Doctors in and out.  They got updates that felt like they only came every couple hours.  They were able to see their girl for a brief time.  Tears.  Conversation.  Prayer.  Phone calls.  Waiting.  And. More. Waiting.

On the way to the hospital, since Sherry was driving me (as Alvin had my car at work that day) I was able to phone my kids and tell them, and ask them to pray.  My kids loved Keri.  She was the firstborn of all the grandchildren on the Thomas side, and she took her place well - being the older niece - and she loved the others.  We had just celebrated her 40th a couple weeks earlier, and loved being part of the celebration where we all loved and celebrated her life! Little did we know. 

As the afternoon ticked away it felt endless I am sure even more so for Heather/Greg and Mel as we sat there.   Family began to arrive at the hospital as right after the supper hour a very hard decision was made to take Keri off of life support.  Really, Keri had died at the site - but her heart had been resuscitated and the machine was keeping her breathing.  Our Keri was already with Jesus it seemed.   While the family came through the doors of the waiting room on that floor, we all knew that we were there to say good-bye. How could this be.  

I watched as families checked in ... and realized that very few were missing.  A sister/brother in law who were informed but in Texas, a niece who was in Ontario and a brother who we had no clue where he was as he was not living in community with us.  The rest - aunts/uncles/cousins of Keri and siblings/nieces/nephews of Heather and Greg - assembled around Keri's bed, as she took her last breath this side of heaven.  Her life here was done.  Too young.  Too short.  So unexpected.  Leaving behind a son not yet 5.  All the thoughts mingled with the tears and Jesus in the midst of the pain, and now the grief.  

I remember leaving the hospital that night - walking out with them.  No words.  Not a single one can truly describe that walk out.  Surreal.  Final. Unbelievable.  

Within the next day or so, I became aware of something that our little 3 year old had said.  When his momma and daddy were dropping him off at their friends place, they assured him they would be back and that they were going to see Keri at the hospital.  He was aware that something had happened as he had seen the tears his mom was crying when I called her.  But he told them, "No, Keri is with Jesus."  How do you explain to a 3 year old that "No Keri was taken to the hospital" and then hear him again tell you, "No, Keri is with Jesus.  Jesus took her in."

I have thought back to this - and especially as my grandson has grown up, and I see his heart that is so sensitive to the LORD.  And I have often wondered at that.  That our little boy knew that Keri WAS with Jesus and Jesus HAD taken her into heaven with what I could imagine to have been arms that were open wide ...  an arm around her shoulders as they walked into Heaven together.  

Imagining Heaven got very easy for me once my mom passed away, then my dad the year later, and then our grandson Jay  - it seemed that the fear of death, the unknown - it all dissipated and I imagine often what Heaven must be like.   It seems like I can honestly say THE BEST IS YET TO COME.   I have imagined Keri in Heaven - and especially with her Granny and Poppa (remember I told you she was the first born of all the grandchildren?  Well she became the one who was Granny's right hand whenever Poppa needed to go anywhere, Keri would come and keep Granny company).  Well ... I can just imagine Keri in Heaven - and if her smile was big here on earth - I can only imagine what it is like there in the presence of Jesus who she loved!

9 years seems like yesterday for me as an aunt.  I can not imagine what it has felt like for Heather and Greg, and Mel & Grant.  We watch Caleb grow up and see his Momma in him - she would have been so proud of him - I can just imagine how with his height, he would have already been able to tuck him mom under his arm!!  Life has been tough without a doubt.  How do you go from being a Mom and "Manny" to Keri and Caleb - to being a grieving Mom and a surrogate Mom for Caleb.  This is life day in day out, and I see my sister and I am seriously in awe of how she walks with Jesus through every day.   I see so much of my mom and dad in Heather.  Grit and determination and a steadfast love ...  and an incredible sense of only being able to do what she is doing because of the strength that God gives her.  No doubt life changed in a moment, where Keri's car hit the back of the parked truck.  And we will never understand, but we know that God was there in that moment - and in all the moments since.

So today I honour the memory of our niece - Keri Lee Klyne.  She was tiny physically but in other ways she was BIG.  She lived big - she loved big - she smiled big and she laughed big.  I remember waiting for her to be born - I remember babysitting her.  I remember so much since she was the first niece I got to love on.  I miss Keri.  But I can only imagine her joy being with Jesus.

Today, if you read this - please keep my sister and brother-in-law in your prayers as their raise Caleb.  Please keep Mel in your prayers as she misses the only sister she had.  Please keep Caleb in your prayers as he is growing up quickly, and the memories of his momma are the ones that we also pour into his memory bank.  If you see him, and see his smile - you will see his Momma ... 

Thinking of, Missing, and always loving her!  I was so proud to be her auntie!Till Heaven sweet Niece ...  Till Heaven.  I can only imagine!! 

with love,

j