"I think a lot of folks find the ecstasies in the conga line of life,
amid throngs, pulsing lights, and lively sounds.
As for me, give me silence."
-Bonnie Sours Smith
from the magazine Bella Grace
The greyness of the day gives reprieve from the sun
that has beaten down on the land over the last few days
The intermittent spitting of rain is like a popsicle teaser on a hot day
It is as if the ground is silently calling for water to come and drench its roots
Not just a little drizzle that barely hits the blades of grass before evaporating
But a steady down pour that would fill in the parched cracks
and bring a vitality back to the fields
growing their myriad of plants, crops, flowers and weeds
Yes even the weeds enjoy the downpour once in a while
Bringing the fluffy dandelion seeds to a halt,
unable to fly and deposit in someone else’s yard
This day is grey
but it doesn’t mean that the heart of the one sitting under the big oak is affected
She sits against the rough sturdy trunk of the big oak
Legs out in front of her
Hands in her lap
And eyes shut
One can see she is just there,
breathing and bearing witness to creation around her
As she often does
Around her there is the flitter and flutter
and scurrying of life
Leaves blowing
and birds singing
and the intermittent clicking of some kind of bug
It is a creation symphony of praise
The way the Creator loves to hear it
And the girl loves to witness
The girl
It is hard to tell the years unless you come closely
And see the laugh lines around her eyes
And the wrinkles that show life lived
Not to mention the brown spots that remind her of her mum
She sits quiet and still
And if you come and sit beside her
In the stillness
She may open the door of her soul and share some of life with you.
But truth be told she loves the silence
The stillness
And the rest
She grew up seeing that in her mum
And knew it was this silence that contained the essence of everything her mum needed to sustain her through all that life threw her way
And life DID throw many things at her
Through the good times, the hard times, the joy, sorrow and pain
So she knows that this stillness is essential in the care of her soul too
She breathes in slowly and seems to hold the breath
eyes still shut
And then slowly exhales
This breathing becomes a pattern that becomes a rhythm for a while
Eyes remaining closed to seemingly block out any distraction
Breath prayer is a gift to her, and one she shares with others that need something to help them slow down
And then her eyes open,
As if she is taking in all of the beatify around her
Seeing it with her eyes
Hearing it with her ears
Smelling it with her nose
And feeling it with her whole body.
The beauty of creation
It speaks to her
She has always known this
That she experiences God in the midst of creation
That creation points upward
She shuts her eyes again and a smile slowly forms and becomes evident on her face
A smile that is an outward sign of an inward posture
This quiet time is so needed these days
When time is passing by too fast
It seems to do that in summer
Time
We have such limited knowledge of time and base it only on how we see change
Be it in the days on the calendar, much needed hair cuts, flowers that start with seeds and grow so tall,
or the change she sees in her grandchildren who have left toddler years far behind them
The quietness brings her back to her thoughts
Deep inner thoughts that she can pull up and mull over
Thoughts that connect her to Holy Spirit in conversation
She holds her prayer beads (knowing that this may cause someone to raise their eyebrows)
Holds onto the bigger cruciform beads thanking Jesus for dying and rising again for her
And then spends time as her fingers travel over the beads
She spends time praising
And then confessing
Interceding
And Thanksgiving
It is a new thing she is trying with the beautiful beads a sweet friend gave her
Christian prayer beads they are called
She smiles and wonders what people may say and knows some would likely even chastise her
With a heart full of thanks she again closes her eyes
She feels the beauty of contentedness
And feels the tranquility of God-given peace
The verse comes to mind “may the peace that passes all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”
Yes … this peace makes no sense other than Jesus
She again breathes deeply in and out
A soft whisper is uttered from her lips
O Holy Spirit, I want more of you.
More, please, more
She realizes the feeling that she often has to fight to resist
The feeling of striving, or making something happen
She knows that having more of the Spirit is not something she can make happen other than being willing, and obedient and living a life laid down for Jesus
She chooses to live a cruciform life
Which she knows is counter cultural today
But is a way of being alive!
And as the old 70’s saying goes “blooming where God has planted you!”
A life laid down daily at the cross of Jesus.
Her chest fills up with a deep breath.
This time of summer is ticking by quickly
She knows what is behind
The feelings of letting go, picking up, mulling through, and letting go again
She smiles as she thinks that she can do anything about the time
Knowing only the creator of time can make things unfurl and grow
And that is what she is waiting for
Some things do not have words to explain
Some things sound inadequate when she tries
And sometimes she just tucks it back into the container within
To pull up and think about another time
She feels the bark of the tree that she is leaning on.
Her arms and hands go out to the sides and can feel the gnarly roots that are sticking through the soil and grass by her sides
And as she looks up into the dark green leaves she sees little prickly caps that are growing into acorns that will fall in time
Scripture says “unless a seed falls to the ground …”
She knows the importance of the sturdy tree, and the deep roots
They are tapping into the wellspring below
The nutrients have gone in and down deep
Giving it strength, sustenance, support and LIFE.
Hmm she smiles
That metaphor of the oak tree is just like her.
She knows that she is to go in and down deep
To keep her own dear heart and soul growing and drinking from the wellspring she knows is JESUS
She may not be rough and gnarly but she knows and thanks God for deep roots and God’s sustaining wellspring
The grey clouds have given her this reprieve
But they have not dampened her spirits at all
Only given her a chance to rest
To breathe deep
To think and pray and have conversation with LOVE (God)
And as she thinks about that it is as if she feels LOVE’s arms tightly wrap around her
This place by the oak
Rest, renewal, a place to breath deeply
To think, to commune with LOVE
And to be embraced
the above was written from a heart, head and soul full of love,
thanksgiving and thoughts
by Joy
