It has been a while, and to be honest, I am not sure what it is I want to say even at this point. My head is full of many thoughts - such as "will our house sell" and "will spring ever come" and the most important of them all ~ "will my husband see again?"
It sounds dramatic. Thing is, it is. For the past 4.5 months, we have been in this waiting period. Alvin first went into the eye emergency hospital on October 19th, the Sunday before my operation. Okay some of you have wondered just what exactly I had done. So for those who are so inquisitive but did not have the courage to ask - I had breast reduction. I have struggled with issues with my back for years, and finally a few years ago, asked my doctor for a referral, and after over two years - I had a date for surgery. However the weekend before my surgery date, I took Alvin into the eye emergency at Misericordia as he was seeing bursts of light. He was assured it was nothing (that makes me laugh actually thinking that the doctor on call saw "nothing" to worry about) but it assured us for the time being and Alvin made an app with his specialist that he ahs been seeing since his "eye stroke" years ago. He has the most amazing specialist, and even though the emergency eye doc wanted him to make an app to see him, Alvin opted to see his specialist. he had to wait for that however (and he also would have seen the emerg doctor even later) and when he went in on Dec 2, he was told that he would have to have a procedure because he had two retinal tears. Thus began what we now look back on, and wish it was that much more in our rear view mirror!
Here we are in the 5th month I have to say that fast otherwise we would both be even more sad about how time has gone by, and we have felt like we have walked through these last few months at a snails pace.
Since Dec. 2nd, Alvin has had two procedures, and then surgery. Now, I know that this has come a long way as I remember hearing about people having to lay face down for weeks and weeks. Alvin had to first of all lay on his side with the "procedures" and that was hard enough ... but then the week before christmas, he had his first surgery and had to go into a week of being face down. I am so thankful to my friends Meggie and Pete who just happened to have a massage table that they had bought but never used AND lent it to us!
In the 7th week post surgery Alvin noticed something had changed. While we tried to pray through it and down play it and hope for the best, he went into the appointment and was told he had to have another surgery. This almost undone him.
Let me tell you abit about this man of mine. He is a worker bee. Sometimes to his detriment as he has had times when he didn't know how to slow down ... Seems God, in His wisdom decided that this was the time to slow him down to a screeching halt. And I mean that.
He had his second surgery on Feb 12 and resumed to his face down position, and had the permission to get up and face the world again on his 68th birthday. Go figure.
Since then, life has been quite something. i will not go into all the details, but you are free to ask if you want ~ let it just be said that we are really trusting God in this. This has been a very hard 4.5 months. The one thing we know as a family is that we have done the "hard" before and have found God to be faithful even in the hardest part of life. Sure there have been times in our life when we have felt like God perhaps did not hear, or did not answer, or maybe even is not looking our way ... but we KNOW in our hearts that He is faithful.
So here we are - we had our 2 months check in, and Alvin has 5 weeks to wait until the next specialist app. At that time he will hear about when the Specialist will have scheduled surgery to remove the silicon oil bubble that is in his eye (to help keep the retina secure while it is healing). This bubble (unlike the first bubble he had which was gas, and dissipated on its own) has to be removed through a scheduled surgery. And once that is done, another doctor will do a surgery on him to remove the cataract that is thick, and has formed in response to the trauma to his eye. Funny how our body does that hey? Or I guess not funny per se, but it formed a cataract in response and now that has to be removed too! SO, he is waiting.
In the meantime, let me tell you, we have been all over the map. We have had a taste of what happens, and how mental health (or unhealth) rears its ugly head. I have no doubt that this man of mine, who is a do-er and a worker bee, who ahs been able to control things as to when he will get jobs done, and the accuracy of his work - has now been laid low .. real low.
We know God hears us. And we have cried out often. We have experienced a miracle along the way, and thank God for that. We have also asked for miracles that we are still waiting for and may not get until the bubble and cataract are removed. We were just part of a Healing Prayer session at our church. And today I laid hands on my man yet again, and pleaded for God to bring healing of body, soul, and mind.
And so we wait. It is not easy. In fact, it has been so hard. Our kids are carrying us through this. So are our friends who lift up our arms when we get tired. We are thankful for family and friends, even if there are times when I have to say, "Sorry, he doesn't want to see anyone"
We have learned so much. Alvin will tell you that he has learned how lonely it has felt to be laid low. I can tell you the same. As a spouse walking alongside, it has been lonely too. We could tell you that we realize that others are also going through so much hard things .... and our hard thing, Alvin's eye - has mad us realize the loneliness, the stress, the feelings that are involved in any affliction.
I was reminded of Paul's "thorn in the flesh" and how he came face down before the LORD asking him to take it away AND that never happened. We pray that soon - within two months, Alvin will be able to see fully with BOTH eyes. That is our prayer. Only God knows.
In the meantime - thanks for asking. Thanks for your prayers. Thanks for your friendship. Thanks for your understanding. We are blessed. Its been hard, but we continue to seek God in all of this! Yep in ALL of it.
Thanks for praying for us. We continue to trust Jesus in all of this!
