It's 1:30 am. Too late to take sleep juice (a herbal product). I have laid in bed for a while - and have decided to just get up, come upstairs and sit by the fire. It's not the first time I have done this routine. The ringing in my ears seems extra loud tonight. That just never goes away, although sometimes other noise lessens the continuous ringing in my head. Ringing is one thing. But sometimes, some nights (okay, MANY nights) the thoughts in my head are noisy too! I keep a book beside my bed which I often reach out to in the dark, and scribble the thought down in ink so as to let it go until the morning. But that idea was not sufficient for me tonight, or should I say this morning. Which is it?
It's dark outside. And it seems everyone/thing is asleep, or still. (well everyone/thing except this gal). Maybe it was the coffee I drank at 7 pm. Mental note regarding late night coffee consumption. In fact, I am thinking perhaps I should cut back on coffee and not drink it at all after 4.
There are many thoughts in my mind - bouncing around like the silver balls in the pinball machines. I have often thought it would be cool to have all the thoughts in my head recorded. Or on second thought, maybe not, as I am thinking they would be so scattered that one would just laugh. My children have often laughed and looked at one another when I say something that is totally unrelated to the conversation we were in ... yep, there goes another butterfly I have sometimes said. You know how butterflies fly here and there, often surprising you from whence they came. Well that's me.
Those thoughts that go from one extreme to another. Some serious, others whimsical. Some just spoken out loud, but perhaps should have been kept to myself. Do other women in their sixties do this? Am I that much of an anomaly lol
Tonight as I laid in bed my thoughts recalled people I needed to bring before the LORD. Some of the same names that I had prayed for earlier. Other names were somehow attached almost like threads, to the names of former prayers. I love how God does that. He brings people to mind. And then I pray. Years and years ago, we had a friend (who is now with Jesus) and he used to talk about how he peddled on his stationary bike, and prayed for people. He shared that he had a big notebook of names to pray through. Now, I realize that people all have different prayer habits, but let me tell you that having a huge list of names to pray through is not one of my habits. Over the course of my life, I have also felt bad a few times when someone thanked me for praying for them, and I knew that I had not yet prayed (so thankful that others had). So I have adopted prayer habits such as 1) NOT telling people that "I will pray for you" but instead actually praying for them then, either in person right at the time, or over the phone, or even over text or email. I don't think God cares HOW we pray. He knows anyhow, and seriously, it isn't like God NEEDS us to pray however I believe it is about coming before him with the prayers that are on our hearts concerning those we love. Another prayer habit is 2) NOT making a list of names to just read through or call out, but instead to pray as God brings people's names to my heart. Okay, let me be honest. For me, there is nothing inviting about just having a list of names. Don't get me wrong. I know that for some people, this is the best way for them to pray for others. HOWEVER, for me, a list of names is not something that inspires me to pray. I instead love how God brings a name to mind. And when that happens, I pray for that person. The best part about this is when I have perhaps let someone know for instance, that I was awakened in the night with God laying their name upon my heart to pray, and then finding out about how they were spending time with the LORD about then, or going through something that needed prayer. You know, God is amazing the way HE uses us in His Kingdom work!! I love that!
I guess maybe the other thing that I believe, is something an older friend told me once when I shared how I had been praying and fasting at a specific time each week for something significant, and that week I had missed it. She looked at me with a big smile, and told me that this guilt was not of God, and that she also said that the prayers of the saints are eternal - and that just because I was on a time line, didn't meant that the prayers offered before, weren't still prayers that God knew and heard (and collected in the prayer bowls that are mentioned in the Bible). Seriously - I love the Scripture that talks about the bowls of prayers in the throneroom!
Prayer. I know that prayer definitely changes things. It draws us closer to the heart of the Father. It brings Heaven closer to earth so to speak. Prayer finds us sometimes wrestling with answers, and other times prayer increases our faith. Some people say prayer is just coincidence. But stop praying and see what happens with your coincidences!!
When my children were young, I began to pray with them about everything. I would pray before they got on the bus. For appointments - for interviews - for jobs - even for bathing suits! (yep, this is an amazing AMAZING God story - ask me about it!!). I would pray with them about things they were afraid of, or wrestling through. Yes, we did the normal prayer as in saying thanks to the LORD before meals, or bedtime prayers. But prayer was way more than that. It was really one way I wanted them to see that we can talk with God anywhere, any time, eyes open or shut, on our knees or standing up, walking running or driving, out loud, or in our hearts. As my children came to me with their joys and heart aches, their successes and their failures, their wants and their needs, or just to sit with my arms around them as they rested on my lap - THIS picture was the picture I wanted them to experience first hand, and learn about how this is such a living illustration of how the Father wants us to come to him with every single thing, and also to come just to be with him in silence. As a mom to my kids, I heard every request and every reason behind why the request should be granted. I heard the rebuttals and the pleading. I also heard the thank-yous and sometimes the why-nots. As a mom I also was able to hold them while they cried, and hold them as they laughed. And then were the times when they would just come and want to be held in a warm embrace. You know, I experienced this first hand myself, as a young child. My dad was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but oh he loved us kids. And I loved sitting on his lap being held, being in conversation with him. As a little girl, I got to experience the love of my earthly father, and I believe this helped me understand the amazing love of my Heavenly Father - Papa. God. And in turn, as I raised my children, and to this day as I also help to pour into the lives of my grandchildren, I want them to know how approachable and present the Father is to them, and how He loves for them to come to him with everything!
Prayer. There is much to be said on the subject. However the biggest things about prayer have been learned through my life of communion with the LORD. My prayer has grown because of my relationship with the LORD. And I don't take any one of those moments - those requests - those conversations - those times of being with Him in silence for granted.
We all need people around us that will pray. in each of our lives, I believe we know who that circle is. The ones that text to say, "hey you were on my heart so I prayed for you" or "woke up in the night with you on my heart, so I prayed." Or maybe it was an older person in your life who you know prays for you daily whether you think you need it or not (my parents did this - I know because I could hear them as they prayed for me in their room at night). May the circle includes life groups that spend time praying each time they meet (ours does) or may include our spouses, or children who will put their hands on you and pray (I will admit, that is one of my favorite things) ... or as just happened not that long ago, having my oldest grandson pray for me! We need a circle around us of people who pray with us, and for us whether we ask or not.
I hope that perhaps I have been, or can be that person to you!
Love Joy
PS ... I am praying for you now:
Father, I thank you for this time in the wee hours of this day. LORD you have given me this space when everyone else is asleep - to think, to write and now to pray. Thank you for that. I thank you for the way you impress names on our hearts, to pray for. I thank you for how you hear, and your answer. I pray right now for someone who may read this.... LORD if they are searching for you, may you be found by them. If they need forgiveness, may they speak to you, and experience your redeeming love. I pray that if someone that reads this needs to know how much they are loved by you - may they encounter your grace and experience a tangible sense of your love. YOU Papa, are Sovereign. You are fully in control. May your will be done in their and my life - and your Kingdom come on earth - as it is in Heaven. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment