Prepare

 Prepare

The sun is shining in through the window, and the sky is an endless blue

Almost all the leaves have blown off the trees

Leaving them a forest of grey sticks, with nothing to cover their nakedness but sunlight

The pine trees slightly moving with the breath of wind

They look regal

Standing straight and tall

Overseeing the area, like soldiers

Overnight frost has melted

Birds flitter here and there enjoying the seed put out for them

It is still except for the sounds of creation

The whispers as it gets ready, hunkering down

For what’s ahead

Snow will fall as much as we don’t want it to

Ice will cover roads

And people will once again complain about road conditions

As if they have never lived in this place before

Its just what we do when the season of winter approaches

Yet we know that the snow covers the land 

Looking like a blanket of diamonds

And the sun shines ever so brightly off the radiance of the land

And it gets cold

Real cold

But we are used to that to

Or as used to it as one can be having grown up in this place

This sunshiny blue skied day brings joy to my heart

I am happy

I am healthy and 

I am inside a home that love built

And my soul is well

This does not look like the fall we had expected 

The sign at the endif our driveway is an indicator that the house is still for sale

And we are still here, in our home

It is quiet here

A daily reminder that ministry has concluded.

We obeyed God on that, on the word that “it was time”

And although no everyone understands

We know, full well, that God’s timing is always right.

It is not always fully revealed however it is always the perfect time

And we feel that in the depths of our being

I loved ministry

Loved hosting people

Did not always love the steady cooking but making the meal an experience for people

Complete with candles and placemats

Was a joy that was allowed to me during the almost 13 years of ministry

And to serve was a gift God allowed, and used I believe, to bless people

Especially young moms who very seldom were able to sit and eat breakfast, let alone a hot one,

And also a breakfast that she did not have to make!

To be honest, I love that too.

Being served something that I was not in charge of cooking

I loved ministry

Being invited to sit at a table with people

And hear their hearts

To speak into their lives when given the opportunity

And to be able to pray with and for and over them

I have not cried over this decision

In fact from the depts of my being has been something that God has resurrected in me

My kids have noticed especially

But I have too.

A feeling of aliveness

Of Feeling released to live fully

A feeling of being able to enjoy my home for a while before it sells

And some people have noticed something in me - a “lightness”

A difference in my countenance

When I feel something that others see, my heart sings

This has become a time that is wide open 

And a time to bring in rhythms that breath a combination of some discipline into my life

Or maybe it is order

It does not feel like work, but it feels instead like new breath

The candle I light at the beginning of the morning

Acknowledging the presence of LOVE

Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit

With me always

But acknowledged out loud in this way

A time to sit with LOVE 

The soft gong signifies the start and the end of my time in sweet mediation

LOVE knows that my thoughts are sometimes hard to keep silent

It is a discipline of stillness, and sitting with Holy Presence

Will I ever get to the place that I am actually just being instead of making the list in my head

Oh LOVE I am so glad you know my heart and soul and love me all the same

And then time to read the WORD. 

Taste and see.  

Read and Listen

Write the ahas on the daily passage

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

I do not think I will ever tire of the feel of the thin pages in my Bible

Or the sound of them turning

Like music to these ears

I sit close to the window

So that the brightness of the day shines into the room

And I can watch the birds in the yard, and the swaying of the trees

And hearing the wind chimes singing the melody that also bring such soothing to my heart

Creation calls and I see LOVE in creation

The creation that LOVE made and creation that we get the chance to live in

As I sit I am sometimes just in a place of being with the Almighty

Pen is still but my ears are perked waiting to hear anything that the Almighty

speaks

I love the times of being

Whether it is in the silence of my home

Or in the quietness of a church called into prayer

Or in a morning meditation time led by a good friend

Or in my spiritual direction time with a trusted Director

The encouragement to sit and be still

And to listen

Let’s listen to see what LOVE has to say to you this morning

And within the first minute of the stillness I hear

PREPARE 

And then the words do not fear

Hmmm 

Prepare ?  Prepare for what?  

The words telling me not to fear feel like an encouragement

These words stood alone for couple weeks while I continued to go into my morning rhythm of centring prayer

Using the word LOVE gave me to mediate on

PREPARE

Breathing in

Breathing out

Prepare

Do not fear

And after about two weeks of sitting with this word in my time with LOVE I also heard

Prepare

To be excited

Okay … are those my thoughts?

I am reminded of the words from Jesus “my sheep listen to my voice and I know them, and they follow me

Yep, that is me

Following LOVE on this adventure

This unknown time to prepare

This time of being in a threshold that is taking on bigger dimensions all the time

But there is no fear

No impatience

No angst

Just a quiet full surrender and anticipation of whatever comes

Whenever

I’m trusting that.

Yes, today looks nothing like I thought it would look like

When we began talking with people back in April

It looks nothing like we thought it would look like when we listed the house for sale

Our lives felt like a perpetual period of keeping the house “showing worthy” 

And not messing up things, so there was little to clean up if a showing happened.

It looks nothing like we expected but at the same time the sun is still shining

Sky is still blue

YES leaves have gone from brilliant green to colourful autumn and to now the bare grey sticks

And yep, all is hunkering down for a long winter’s nap

All is well with the world ….

And all is well with my soul

I will sit in this threshold time

A time to prepare 

Only LOVE knows what that is about

This season of preparation, of rest.

A season of reflection while everything sleeps, awaiting the time of new growth in spring.

And I am content in waiting to see whenever it happens.

Because this is not the full story, there is more to come

Much more

I feel it in the depths of my being. 

Rumi was quoted as saying "don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.”

I think that if I am quiet enough to hear, and still enough to feel

I can hear those roots having a party!