Good Friday thoughts....

Good Friday. Today I was wondering why exactly it is called Good Friday – or is that just plain obvious – for Jesus believers anyhow – Good Friday is the most amazing Good that we could ever experience. The day that Jesus died for us – our sin – past, present and future! Jesus loves me, this I know!!

So today I started off my day when I woke up (without an alarm) to the smell of fresh coffee. This is the way I have awoken these past two days. Something about that coffee smell. Then I have gotten out of bed (much to my husband’s surprise!) and have gone downstairs to work out to a DVD I have. Okay, I am proud of myself – two days in a row. For most of the week since Sunday, my FMS was so bad, the pain so brutal, along with the stiffness in my body that I didn’t even THINK of exercising at 5:30.

I had to laugh when Alvin kissed me good bye one morning, and asked “what ever happened to getting up early to exercise? (Bless him ) to which I replied “can’t do it!”
But today is day two in a row, and I am pumped!! Doesn’t take much hey?

Anyhow, I exercised, did some QT with the Lord, and got ready to go in, to take Alvin to work. Leaving the fire hall, I decided to go and get a cup of coffee and went and parked by the river – to watch the water and ice flow, to read a book (which I finished) and to journal, think and pray… spent about 1.5 hours there, and then went and picked up Leah, and we headed to McIvor for the Good Friday service.

It was kind of weird going into the church entirely as a “congregant” instead of as a “pastor” and sitting in the seat, not knowing what was going to come. I did know that my daughter Ashley had been on the planning committee, and was also singing a solo WAVES OF GRACE.

The drama touched my soul…. I had asked the Holy Spirit to do a work in me today.
It focused on the Woman at the Well (one of my favs) and on Martha and on Pilate, and Nicodemus, and on Judas. And as each one spoke, it ended with “lies” that they had believed but now know the truth! We were supposed to write out our own lies, and put them on the cross. I looked at my little white paper and wondered where I would start…
What lies has the Devil wanted me to believe?

Perhaps the lie that “I have nothing to offer God… I am so inadequate” Yes, I struggle with this, believe me. But lately, I have seen that this is a lie, and I know that, because through HIM, I can do all things, and all Jesus wants is a contrite and a willing heart.

I am working through that one, surprise, surprise. People are usually surprised when I share that I struggle with feeling like I have something to offer – or that I am qualified in many areas – or that I have talent and gifting that God can use. I realize that much of that struggle comes with the ministry position God had me in – the pastoral role. Unfortunately I had heard that during the “pastoral search” (when I had applied) someone asked what Joy could possibly have to offer those with university degrees (since I have no degree). Man, did I struggle with inadequacy – every single time I got up to preach, right up to the last time I preached in December.

“I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!”

When my daughter got up to sing, the words touched my innermost parts of my soul.
It was beautiful (yes, I am biased!)… I also know that the song she sang is one that moves her own soul as well.

WAVES OF GRACE by David Noble

The walls are high, the walls are strong
I’ve been locked in this castle
That I’ve built for far too long
You have surrounded me, a sea on every side
The cracks are forming and I’ve got nowhere to hide

Chorus
Now I see
The walls I’ve built are falling
And your waves of grace are washing over me

My heart’s been hard, I have been blind
I have often worked so hard to keep you from my mind
I have ruled my life, in a palace built on sand
I want you to reign, Lord, take me by the hand

Lord please reign in every part
I give my life to you
I open up my heart
I want to be like you, I want to seek your face
O Lord please wash me in your awesome waves of grace.

The morning ended with Leah and I leaving a little before the very end. It was something that we just had to do. There were a lot of hugs today – and I felt very loved.
But I knew that both of us needed to leave before it got overwhelming. I think people understand what I mean.
As I left the gym, I got two last hugs before I went out the door.
As we walked out into the sunshine of the morning, I felt like I had taken a big breath!

We ended the morning with Ash and Michael, sitting around the table at their house, enjoying lunch together.
I am thankful – just as I asked him to,
This morning, the Holy Spirit nudged me several times…
He breathed into my being – as tears rolled unashamedly down my cheeks and neck.
Good Friday – oh sweet Jesus – thank you for Good Friday. Thank you for your waves of grace!

PS. The picture of the book cover, IN THE FOOTPRINTS OF JESUS is an amazing book. My thoughts of Jesus, "Man of Joy" just grew, and I found myself falling more and more in love with the Saviour and Lover of my Soul.