EXIT - stage left

When I was young - I used to watch cartoons. In the cartoon, a pink mountainlion named Snagglepuss used to always say, "Exit, stage left." Well - on that note - I can say that last night, I just went through my "EXIT INTERVIEW" ... I know, some have asked "Exit interview - what is THAT?" My bigger question is, now that I have shared, really, what difference does it make? Now the powers that be, will get the info they wanted (for whatever reason I am not sure) and really, what do they do with it? I guess really, it is just protocol, especially since we have a newly put together H.R. team at the church. At least now - it has been done. The process is complete as far as unemploying an employee. This information can now be filed into my file. And the file closed. Will the file contain any of my wet tears?
This EXIT - now becomes "water under the bridge" so to speak. I say that with sadness. It is my Exit stage left!! Anyhow - it was hard and yet easy, as I was meeting with Sigi, who is the rep from our newly formed HR team, and my Pastoral Advisor Marilyn, who is such a gift from God. Now, my time in paid pastoral ministry is done. D.O.N.E. Done.
I realize that the "job satisfactions" all involved loving and caring for people!! What a plus! I got to work in a place were people loved and trusted me! I will be forever thankful!

On another note - I woke up early this morning - to do a few last minute things before our real estate agent comes to take pictures, etc...
And, I had to find some info in our filing cabinet... and I found that (the current tax bill) and kept leafing through the stuff and found a poem I had written.
As I read it - I realized that I could just as well be writing it now too. So, I thought I would share it with you. I wrote it January 24th, 2005. I wrote it as I was thinking of some good friends, one whom had just lost his wife, and one whom was going through some emotional struggle, and one who walks beside that person day by day. Thinking of my friends brought me to these words... but really they express my heart today as well. Here it is:

The Father's Embrace

The cold air hits my nostrils
And the sound of snow crunching under my boots
reminds me that this is winter...and it is cold.

The snow covers the ground like a thick quilt
Still untouched by motorists, it remains white
although in a matter of time it will become muddy.

Everything seems white, and still
everything seems to carry on living, celebrating, existing, and yes, dying.
Everything seems to be in its normal cycle.

I trudge along
soon becoming oblisious to all the sounds around me.
Hearing only the thoughts that rattle around my head
and feeling the overwhelming ache that seems to have consumed my heart.

God ... you know all about me.
Why don't you take this pain away?
How much more can I stand - or will I soon crumple under the weight of it all?
Silence.

God ... I know you are here.
I know that - because under normal circumstances
I would be a broken mess,
unable to walk through this life - yet, I am here and still able to walk.
Silence.

God ... why?
Why did this happen?
What is the reason?
How can I go on?
When will it end?
The questions come fast and furious,
without the chance for an answer between them.
Was I even expecting God to answer?
Silence.

God. Please God... speak.
Please let me know that you hear me.
Please let me know that no matter what, you are there.
Please let me know that one day it will all feel better,
And, that one day - I will feel whole again.

And then, a warm rush, like a current running through my body...
A whisper in my ear...
And, what was that? It felt like something soft brushing against my cheek.
Almost like a kiss.
Still oblivious to the sights and sounds around me, there was something new.
A sense of somthing filling the empty void in my inner being.
My thoughts have stopped rebounding around my head.
The ache in my soul, that felt it was almost unbearable - has been replaced.
At this time
At this moment
With a sense of arms wrapping me...
Holding me...
Embracing me...
Drawing me nearer...
Holding me tight.

And I know, without a doubt
I am again, in the Father's Embrace.



O Lord - I know that even though I don't feel you - and often when I think I am alone - that you are here with me. I am always in your embrace. Sometimes I just don't feel it! Thank you Lord - that you are always walking with me, picking me up off the ground, dusting me off, wiping my tears, and sometimes you carry me in your arms, held close to your heart. I love you Lord - Father, God, Jesus, Redeemer and Rock. Holy Spirit - guide and lifegiving power. You are amazing three in one - God.
Amen.


picture at the top is from a bumpersticker offered at bumperstickers.cafepress.com
Maybe I should buy it! lol
Posted by the mouse herself (Joy)who is quite enjoying life!!
Posted Friday, September 25th, 2000 at 9:50 am