hospital thoughts

My mom (in-law) is sick. Quite sick actually. Almost 7 years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Multiply Myeloma to be exact. For 6 years it lay relatively silent. Last year she almost died, and ended up with about 8% of Kidney function. The Renal Clinic referred to her as their "miracle child" since she rebounded, her kidneys rebounded to about 18%... it is usually unheard of. We were thankful for more time with mom, in spite of the cancer becoming "myeloma cancer".

At the beginning of August, she went into emerg with extreme pain and was diagnosed with two fractured vertebrae (due to her osteo and her myeloma). She was put on heavy pain meds, and a few days later, Corinna and I took her back into the hospital, as we were worried about her not being able to eat etc.

Little did we know that she would be in the hospital with other complications for a long, long time. In fact - it is over a month. We are not sure if mom will return home to her condo...
and at the same time "HOME" to heaven seems more likely.

Mom's cancer is out of control it seems. Her marrow is no longer producing red blood cells.
Her latest complication has been hypercalcemia which makes her extremely tired and confused. It is hard to see. Hard to see her so aware that she is not making sense, or can not spit out a complete sentence. It is hard to see how this affects her vision, and her perception is out of whack. Mom had such high hopes with her latest blood transfusion... only to be dashed.
Time is precious.

Even though mom is confused today ~ I believe she gets it. I believe she understands that the blood transfusions are no longer able to do their job. I believe she understands that at any time she could say "stop the madness" and just sleep away. It is hard to even think of how one feels when you are faced with decision making about your own life!

Today after my sister in law left at noon, I went and put even more money into my time slot for the parking lot (one of the biggest money makers!) and returned up by her bed with my journal and bible in hand. God directed me to his word - specifically Isaiah 40.

I was touched anew by the words in this portion. I love them. It begins with COMFORT, COMFORT MY PEOPLE...

But I love these words:
verse 26 ~
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens. who created all these? he who brings out the starry host one by one and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength not one of them is missing!

verse 29 ~
He gives strength to the weary... increases power to the weak and renews their strength (my translation!)

I shared this scripture with mom... imagine, he knows the starry host and calls them each by name!! Because of his great power and strength - none of them are missing.

If he cares about a star - how MUCH MORE he cares about us! about MOM...

This chapter brought mom and I great comfort today.
Thank you Lord ... thank you.