October 17th, 2009
I am home now - so glad to see my husband! (SO GLAD) and looking forward to tonight to seeing my four kids: Josh and Leah, Ashley and Michael. Tomorrow we will celebrate Thanksgiving together - complete with a turkey and the trimmings! A week late, but soooo thankful for my family!
I woke up this morning - at the same time I woke up all week in Colorado Springs - but I didn't need to grab my binder, my notebook and most of all my Bible..... at least not for class. School of Spiritual Direction - who would have thought that it would have been so incredibly hard but so incredibly wonderful. I think I have already begun to mourn the fact that I have had to say good-bye to our "little family of SSD class 33" who were in intense relationship last week - that we would grow to love one another and become a "community" in the true sense of the word. A community that Dr. Larry Crabb talked about in one of the books we read prior to going - Becoming a True Spiritual Community. Honestly, I think every person, every church board of elders and councils and whatever else church leadership teams call themselves - this should become a MUST READ.
It really doesn't matter if you are Plymouth Brethren (which is what I grew up in, till the age of 20) or Mennonite Brethren (which is what Alvin and I were part of for the past 31 years, and wherein I pastored for the past 7) or any denomination in between. If you have read my blog over the past year - you will know that as a combination of things - I have wrestled with what CHURCH is - and have come to the conclusion that "church" isn't what we have made it into - and that I think there are times when we grieve the Lord at what we have become. Sometimes I really don't think God really cares about some of the things we fight over, or "lord" over other denominations. What I do think is that it grieves the heart of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit - when they see how we fight over things - or how complacent we have become - or how we wish to be missional but don't weep over the lostness of people - or how we think that Sunday morning is what we "do" and that should last for the rest of the week. Oh Lord - how we must make you weep at times!
This past week - as we have journeyed - each morning two triads (we were broken into triads for the whole week for an afternoon session together and for worship two of the triads were put together to plan and lead). The first morning - the two triads that led, opened with us hearing the words, and then listening to the song by Casting Crowns called STAINED GLASS MASQUERADE. These words spoke to us - to me personally as well - and I want to share them with you - without any further comment.
Casting Crowns — Stained Glass Masquerade lyrics
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
~~~~~~~~~~
Henri Nouwen said "I love the church. I do not want to write about the church as a problem, a source of conflict, a place of controversy, but as the Body of Christ for us here and now."
THe "Church" ~ the "Body of Christ" .... Community....true SPIRITUAL community. Hmmm...
In his book, BECOMING A TRUE SPIRITUAL COMMUNITY ~ Dr. Crabb says "The church is a community of people on a journey to God. Wherever there is supernatural togetherness and Spirit-directed movement, there is the church ~ a spiritual community." "...I speak of spiritual community as a gathering of people who experience a kind of togetherness that only the Holy Spirit makes possible, who move in good directions ~ and want to ~ because the Spirit is at work. In a spiritual community, people reach deep places in each other's hearts that are not often or easily reached. They discover places beneath the awkwardness of wanting to embrace and cry and share opinions. They openly express love and reveal fear, even though they feel so unaccustomed to that level of intimacy. When members of a spiritual community reach a sacred place of vulnerability and authenticity, something is realeased. Something good begins to happen. An appetite for holy things is stirred. For just a moment, the longing to know God becomes intense, stronger than all otehr passions, worth whatever price must be paid for it. Spiritual togetherness, what I call connecting, creates movement: Togetherness in Christ encourages movement toward Christ."
I am so glad that I had the amazing gift of going and spending a full week with 29 other students at the School of Spiritual Direction. I don't remember when I witnessed so powerfully the presence of God so often, in our midst. I don't remember when I saw men and women - from the ages of 32 to about 70 - weeping unashamedly as the Spirit moved in us individually. I am so thankful that I was blessed by my family - and my friends to attend. For those of you who prayed, and for those of you who sent emails to be given to me at our closing banquet - thank you for your friendship, your love and prayers. You are true spiritual community!
* the picture is one I will treasure - having sat under the teaching of Dr. Larry Crabb who became just "Larry" to us all week. I never thought anyone would/could bring the book of Obadiah to life!! I see what it means for ME! One of the things that I loved about Dr. Crabb was his curiosity for Scripture - and his encouragement to us to be curious as we read and get to know God through it, as it is one of the "66 love letters" God has given to us! (Dr. Crabb has just sent a book to the publisher called 66 Love Letters (available in the new year) I also loved how he had committed so much scripture to heart - it oozed out of him. That has been my desire - to just devour scripture to the place where it is constantly on the tip of my tongue. Dr. Crabb - I could "smell" Jesus through you! Thank you for being an image bearer of the Almighty!
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