sunshine on my shoulders...

There is an old John Denver song that ran across my heart a few minutes ago –

The Song is Sunshine on my Shoulders: the words go like this:

sunshine, on my shoulders - makes me happy
sunshine, in my eyes - can make me cry
sunshine, on the water - looks so lovely
sunshine, almost always - makes me high

if I had a day that I could give you
I’d give to you a day just like today
if I had a song that I could sing for you
I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

sunshine, on my shoulders - makes me happy
sunshine, in my eyes - can make me cry
sunshine, on the water - looks so lovely
sunshine, almost always - makes me high

if I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
if I had a wish that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

sunshine, on my shoulders - makes me happy
sunshine, in my eyes - can make me cry
sunshine, on the water - looks so lovely
sunshine, almost always - makes me high

sunshine almost all the times makes me high
sunshine, almost always makes me high ~


So a little while ago – I decided that I needed to go out and walk. So – I did.
My goodness – it is such a beautiful day outside!
Blue Sky
Sunshine
My dog Oreo running ahead of me
The sight of two big deer running through the trees

As normal on my walks alone –
I walked…
I talked to the Lord…
I listened…
I wept.
Actually I wept a lot. That is how I knew for sure that the weather was a lot warmer…
My tears actually rolled down my cheeks without freezing.
I talked to the Lord about giving up my anxiety… again …. to him. It’s pretty thick.
So thick that I feel like throwing up.
So thick that I can hear it in my kids voices…
So thick that I can see it in my husband’s eyes.
Somehow it is easier to handle UNTIL I notice it in him as well. (could be because he often carries my stress without showing it).
I know that the Lord doesn’t want us to be paralyzed by fear and anxiety.
I know we need to “cast our cares upon the Lord”
But I also know – that for some reason, it keeps sitting like a huge elephant on all of our chests.
So…. I walked. I talked. I prayed and prayed some more. I wept. I also looked for a big rock to represent the anxiety – so that I could physically “leave” it at the altar in the back.
Unfortunately, many rocks were frozen into the ground, but then I did find one – and could place it there.

That is when my cell phone rang – and my friend Maxine was on the other end. Little did she know that I would weep while talking with her. She was so okay with that.

Just a few minutes ago – I exchanged emails with my wonderful friend Mary. Mary was our counselor first, and quickly became our dear friend. As I shared my day just a little with her – she said that she thought perhaps we had gone through “labour” today….
Ah, no wonder it was so painful. I just love how Mary helps support me (and my gang) as we walk one step at a time.

Sunshine … on my shoulder.
Sunshine… in my heart.
Sunshine…
This time tomorrow – we will be holding our precious new little grandbaby! We will watch with tenderness, and listen to the gentle little baby noises! And you have to know that even though we will be inside – there will be SUNSHINE ….

God will give us beauty for ashes…
Festive praise instead of mourning
Joyous blessing instead of despair!
I can hardly wait – to sing the new song that will come as I snuggle and kiss my new little grandbaby, and I know the little cry – will make me weep. Tears of joy! Because Joy will come in the morning!

And the sunshine – well…tomorrow,
The sunshine…. Oh, it is going to feel so wonderful!
Tomorrow…. I can hardly wait.