Homesick

I don't think it is any coincidence that I woke up this morning to this tune. Then an hour later I heard it again. HOMESICK, by Mercy Me.

I have been "homesick" alot lately... perhaps it is because I was at the funeral of an older man whom we got to know through McIvor, and who we also worked with (we were youth leaders briefly overlapping with he and his wife; and he used to always tease me about watching me when I had to sing in German! And later when I was in ministry, I worked with him on some committees). The funeral was a celebration of life. He wasn't really all that old... actually my dad was three years younger when God called him home. Jake reminded me ALOT of my dad.

I sat at the funeral and of course my thoughts gathered...
Actually, my thoughts have gathered alot in the past years, since losing my mom, and then my dad a year later, and then my dad in law, then our little Jay.
When my mom went home to glory, I felt like I was no longer afraid of dying.
I have to say that since our little Jay went to Heaven, I have thought of Heaven alot!

Of course though, I do love living... and sitting in a funeral service, as I did on Monday, makes me think alot about living and about dying. I guess that is always the tension in our lives, especially as we get older. I love being here with and for my husband and my kids and my grandson. I love being a friend and having friends. I love letting God use me for his glory and letting him make me more like him! I do LOVE life!! But, I do think of Heaven still...

I have been thinking alot about heaven again, as I am nearing our little Jay's 2nd birthday. And I often think of what it will be like hugging my little grandson Jay Benjamin again... and whether he spends his time running with my mom and dad and dad in law! And whether my dad sings "choo-chums" to Jay.

I have read a book called 90 Minutes in Heaven... and whether you believe it or not - I have to say that it gives me a sweet feeling about what Heaven may be like when I get there. It is this "push-pull" feeling... wanting to be here for a long time with my family but also longing to hug my family who are with Jesus again...

So it was that this song by Mercy Me (who also wrote the hit song I CAN ONLY IMAGINE) touched my heart twice this morning within the 1.5 hours of being awake. So, I share the words with you...

Homesick
by Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now