Forgiveness. Grace. & Love.

Today, early, my thoughts were turned toward Jesus.  This is "Passion Week".  I sat in a coffee shop at the Forks, and journalled.  It had been a while again.  Yesterday, some of the hurt/betrayal that Alvin and I experienced at one point in our journey - it resurfaced.  Just when I thought it was dead in the water.  There it was.  Upfront and Personal.  Close.  Choking.  Yesterday I heard him breathe the words to me:  Forgiveness.  Grace.   Timely words, being that I am only walking in "forgiveness and grace" because of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.


Today, as I sat there, and watched the sun shine on more and more as it got higher in the sky, thoughts came tumbling out.  I grabbed a pen.  Here they are..

Forgiveness

Grace

&

Love

With eyes shut

And body clenched

(as if that would help me to hear)

I can hear them

Screaming

Raising clenched fists high into the air

Answering:  "CRUCIFY HIM"

But faintly ...

as I struggle to hear about the din of my life

What is that?

Faintly I hear

"hosanna"

"blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord."

The sound

the praises

still reverberate off of the rocks

wilted and dried palm branches blow in the wind

And my heart

O Lord

My heart breaks.

Those that praised...

where have they gone?

What are they thinking now

O Lord, do I recognize those same faces in the crowd?

I yell

STOP IT

STOP

Why crucify the one whom you just praised?

What are you doing?

Don't you get it?

Are you so fickle?

O Lord have mercy.

Away with Him

Crucify Him

the din hurts my ears

The people

the hate

the anger

the condemnation

O Lord - what is that?  

Do I see someone in that crowd?

someone

who

resembles

me?

All of a sudden

the faces blur ~

the shouting

O the shouting ~ a conglomeration of voices ~

but there is also crying

I hear it 

faint but close

O Lord.

it is me!

IT 

IS

ME!

I realize that my voice may not have yelled crucify

But my sin

my shame

put Him on the cross.

My Sin

My Shame

PAST

PRESENT

FUTURE

I fall to my knees

in a crumpled mess

acknowledging what HE ...

this "Man of Sorrows"

this "Jesus"

MY Jesus ~ has done for me.

AND

I

WEEP.

And into the quietness of my own tears

I hear the words "HE HAS RISEN"

And I rise with great joy

knowing that He paid for my sin.

But nothing could keep him there

NOT THE CROSS

NOT THE GRAVE

NOT DEATH ~ He defeated it!

Magnificent Defeat!

And I bow

in praise

in adoration

in love

He has shown me the ultimate forgiveness

He has covered me with amazing grace

He has done for me - His ultimate expression of love.

Forgiveness

Grace

Love

Only Jesus!