When joy and sorrow meet

Sometimes joy and sorrow meet.

Actually, in my life, perhaps it is more than just "sometimes" ...

Tears have fallen alot lately.  My good friend is dying.  Too young.  Too soon.  Too quick.

And yet we know that God is sovereign and fully in control.  We know that HIS ways are not our ways.  We know that HIS timing is always on time.  And in the midst of all of this knowing, we still often finding ourselves whispering, and sometimes shouting “Why LORD Why?”

The other day as I sat along the bedside of my friend, I watched her as she was taking a nap. 

I realized that as I looked at her, I had a sense that there was something familiar.  
Yes … something in her reminded me of my mom.  
At first that seemed a little strange, as my friend is not quite five years older than me.  So how could she remind me of my mom? 
And then I realized what it was.  It was the peace that was obvious - even when my friend was sleeping.

Peace.

Quiet or tranquility.

That was it!! 

Peace in the face of death.  Just like my mom. 

A couple days ago, as I sat by her bed, with her hand in mine, I thought she was fast asleep when she said “I am grateful”  Not wanting to say anything if it was in her sleep, I just sat there and took note of what she said.   And then a few minutes later she said, “that is the answer” so I asked her what was the answer, and she said again, “I need to be grateful”.

Again she reminded me of my mom. One time when my mom was so sick in the hospital, I asked her if she was tired of it all, she told me “oh no dear, I have so much to be grateful for.”  

Peace.

Gratefulness

In the midst of sickness, pain and facing the end of life.

Those two things alone bring me to an awe.
I watched my friend, and was reminded of my mom.

Yesterday I heard one of my favorite songs being played.  

It is Well with my Soul.

My tears began with the first notes of the song.

I have wept with her a few times. 

I have also had the privilege to hold her hand, and to have her hold mine.

And, usually the two things happened together.

Two weeks ago, while driving her back from Cancercare we were talking as I drove.

At that time we didn't know that the cancer would progress so quickly, although she said she believed she was nearing the end stage and had just gotten to the point where she could admit that. 

I asked her how she felt knowing that she would meet Jesus.

As we talked, I looked straight ahead, but the tears rolled, and I felt her hand on mine, and realize her tears were there too.

I think of in the Bible in the Gospel of John.  The shortest verse is recorded “Jesus wept”.

He wept when he realized that his friend had died.  

Jesus.  Being fully God - He wept.

Now you may or may not know the story - the ending was a miracle.  Jesus raised his friend from the dead.

But the thing that always captivates my thoughts is that it records His emotions.  His response.  

His tears.

Jesus,

Wept.

I have had the privilege of chatting with her.  Sitting by her bed in periods of quiet.  Being there to hand her ice chips, or a cold cloth.  Tonight during a short visit, I took her hand as she slept.  And before I left, we gathered close to her, and I held her hand, and the hand of her husband and prayed.  

And she slept.

And tears came.

And the peace was there along with the recollection of her words “I am grateful”

Tonight as I wrap this up and go to sleep, my heart and thoughts are with her, asleep in the hosptial room  and with her husband who will be facing a “new normal” soon.

My prayers are for the two of them.  
God knows our length of days - for each one of us.

Our first breath and our last.  Our life is but a vapour - we just studied this in James during our life group time this past week.  
God knows all of this. 

And I am thanking God for our friendship - for the love - for the peace and the gratefulness.

Thank you my friend Gisele - you have taught me so much through our friendship, your love, care, support and rolemodeling.  

I love you my friend.  
I hope you are sleeping now, but overwhelmed by a tangible sense of God's presence and peace!

And me, I am grateful too.