I have been thinking that perhaps it is time to "rebrand" and make a new blog spot. You know - a "dot com" site. We did that for the ministry women refreshed.com years ago, taking the blog that began for the ministry (years before it started) which was on Wordpress and my daughter developed the blog/website as a ".com" .... it has worked pretty good for us I think. Why rebrand? Good question ....
Thoughts and musings of a country mouse - represents my thoughts going back years with the first post in September of 2007. 13 years ago. There are posts that are probably whimsical and fun while others like for instance Dec of 08 which are called The Dark Night of the Soul. My stories take me through the last 13 years of my life. The year 2007 was after the previous year that included a near death experience which made me realize God was not done with me yet! I think I realized I do have things that I should share.
Here I am, almost 62, and because of a combination of things in life, I am beginning to have a voice. Funny hey - some of you who know my family (and extended clan) - may be surprised that a Thomas would not have a voice!! But the older I get, the more I begin to understand more of me and how God created me to be. My kids as well as my sweet friend Karen D, have introduced me to the enneagram and through podcasts and books, I have come to understand that God has made me so intricately and wonderfully! It's funny because back in early 2000 a pastor friend/couple of mine went through sessions on the enneagram through the catholic nuns, (they were not catholic) and I thought it was the weirdest thing.... until two years ago. So that in itself, has brought me to a greater understanding of me!
Having a voice! Alvin would likely just say "she has lost her filters" to which I laugh and reply, "yes, I am learning that a bit earlier than my Mum did!" I say that in fun, but there is some truth to that. Yep, my gentle sweet loving Mum lost her filters too! And as the years pass by, I am coming to understand my Mum in a whole new way, and that helps me to understand myself. She was never mean - but towards her end of life, she definitely spoke up which I know sometimes took my Dad off guard! lol
God is the main part of this without a doubt. I am challenging my grandkids to memorize Psalm 139 (my favourite Psalm) with me and yep, this Granny is bribing them with $139 dollars if they learn the whole chapter!! I love it because of what it tells me in there. He knows every thing about me - my first day and my last. That is especially poignant these days as a loved one of ours is praying for healing, but it appears healing will only come in Heaven. This chapter tells me how wonderfully made I am! And with knowing that - I know God has put in me a "roar" to be used for His honour and glory.
Me - the country mouse - the one who has struggled for years with self image and self worth. (yep, it has been a very long process - and some big stories of how God has spoke through this). It has been hard for Alvin to see this, and to even understand it - but it has been deeply rooted sorry to say. God is not done with me yet in that department tho. And I got my tattoo to remind me that HE calls me Beloved. This country mouse is not longer just squeaking ... she has found a God-given voice. It is getting stronger as He is refining this woman. No one likes having the heat turned up but I have seen how it is necessary to make us into more of his image.
Having a voice means that God can use my life experience and my words to speak into the lives of others. I also feel that while I am no longer a paid pastor, I believe and have been affirmed that the characteristics that one would hope for in a pastor, is what they continue to see and experience through me. I thank God for that. So I believe I can still speak into lives with a "pastoral " voice if that makes sense. A voice that belongs to someone who has been in the depths and walked with grief as a close companion (and the depths have been deep and dark at times) but can also speak to HOPE, and JOY and PEACE that comes from an intimate relationship with the Almighty One.
I value authenticity. But I have learned that I also have to be careful. To think before I speak. To pray about what I say and if the timing is right. Sometimes I think perhaps I have (personally) been shocked and impacted by others actions, and may speak into that with what I call "speaking truth in love" but Alvin says, is sometimes a little too forward, or well ... blunt. It is a balancing act. I believe that God is calling me to speak up for what is right and just as well. And to encourage those with little to no voice (maybe just a tiny squeak) to allow God to use the voice He has put within them. (okay, lol ... the line from "I am woman hear me roar" just entered my thoughts!!).
I feel at this point in my life, my greatest part of life is behind me - but I still can speak into the lives of those I love - to affirm and encourage. To call to account if necessary. A voice to bring God's love and peace to others. I think I still have a lot of life left to encourage others that are in my life.
There is so much in Scripture that talks about how the tongue has such incredible power. As a kid I remember yelling "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me!" WHOA ... where did that come from!! Who ever made up that saying!!
The tongue is the most difficult part of our body to control - I am sure you can relate - and once a word is out - it can never go back - EVER!! (kind of like putting toothpaste back into a tube). The tongue is so powerful and can be used to bless but also to curse. BUT we have help as the Holy Spirit longs to give us then control over what we say!
As I said - it is a balancing act - that uses love, wisdom and discernment. May God give me that!
That's my thoughts for today - from a "country mouse" who is learning to speak instead of squeak! Or maybe I will let God use me to roar for HIM yet in my lifetime!! And maybe I will give "rebranding" to a .com some more thought. And keep using this platform and give my kids something to tease their mom about!! I actually take it as acts of affection anyhow. Love my kids!
I Hope these words have encouraged you in some way. I always think a post will be less wordy - but it seems that is my struggle! lol. I guess this Thomas country mouse has things to say!
with love from this Country Mouse,
j
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