Taken down by the flu...

Monday I came home after a full day at work. It had been a very quiet and a good day. I drove home in "thinking" mode as I usually do these days. And said good-bye to Alvin, who left for work. Made some supper and sat down to watch some tv when I realized that something was terribly wrong. That was the beginning, and today is Lord Willing, the end... of the flu! Staring into a white porcelin bowl is never a good thing, if you know what I mean.

Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed, hardly even watched any t.v. Today all that is left is a rumbling tummy and a big bad headache. I decided to stay home, as I want to be over it completely. Thing is, I can check into my webmail, so that's good...

These past few days have been good in the way that I have done nothing but thinking... some of it is scary, like thinking about giving up my paycheck for 3 months while I am leave... that thought "washed" over me last night... I am so glad my husband is alongside of me in this. Thinking about the things that people have said to "bless" me... and I guess I should apologize for my previous blog. People are trying to say the right thing. I realize I am just really raw and bleeding.
But in the midst of it all, I think I am learning. Learning about people. Learning about caring for people. Learning about friendships. I am learning about believing... on many levels. God is included in there of course. I know I believe... I am just struggling with some of the issues which are testing the ropes.

The flu has caused me time to just be... mainly because up till today, I didn't have the physical strength to do anything. Only to think. Sometimes I realize that even thinking can be work, and sometimes God just wants us in a position to rest, to hear, to learn... that's why the other day when I told the kids about being sick, my son texted back and said "God thing". That is what I had thought too, that perhaps I needed to just be down for a while, and God orchestrated it.

Anyhow, during the last few days, I have gotten a handful of emails blessing me. I think that on Sunday night, one of the most powerful things was when my friend E. turned to me after we had prayed together, and said, "I just want to bless you as you take this time off, as I don't think you have been blessed to do that..."
Ahh, felt like a breath of fresh air somehow. I am always amazed at people who have the insight into what we need. I figure God gives it to them/to us.

So, I am taken down by the flu, but rebounding. Tomorrow I will be back to work, and then it will be 6 working days left till my leave till May. I know that God has something in store for me, for my time off, and even though it looks different than the sabbatical that I had originally asked for, I know that this leave is the better route, and I have peace. Yes, even about the financial... God will provide.

God knows. I believe it.