Thinking about Heaven

I have been thinking alot about heaven lately. Not sure why. Guess I am journalling and walking through my grief over my grandson Jay Benjamin. It has taken me to some very deep and hard places. "Going Back" to the hospital (emotionally/mentally not physically) I have thought alot about how we grandparents stood in a circle and prayed for our little Jay. But God had already chosen to take him to his heavenly home.... a mystery that only God understands. I was also at a memorial service of a man who lived his life for Jesus. As I sat there, with the sun shining through the window right on me, I thought alot about life. Last weekend, there was a write up in the Wpg. Free Press in which my father, Geri Thomas was mentioned, as someone who was a great influence. My father has been in heaven for over 11 years now (12 in November) while my mom has been gone for 13 in May, and my Father-in-law John Klassen, will be gone 3 years this July.

I have thought of each one of them alot. But my greatest thoughts are that they are able to run, and play with our little Jay. My dad, who was an amputee - now has two legs that work! My mom, who died with a foot that was going to have to be amputated because of diabetes - now can run! My father-in-law, I can just imagine him saying "Com on here youngest" in his slightly german accent. If I let my thoughts linger there, I can imagine in my mind, what this scene looks like, and I am so glad that they are there with Jay. I mean, really, Jesus is there, and that in iteself is amazing! I bet Jay is running with him too! But I like to think that Jay's great grandparents are loving him up!! That thought alone, brings me comfort.

So, I have thought of heaven alot. I have also come to love a song that I heard an artist named Michael English sing, on a Gaither Vocal Group reunion tape.
I am also reading a biography on Michael English - truly a story of redeeming love, and a prodigal coming HOME.

Here are the words to the song, I BOWED ON MY KNEES AND CRIED HOLY


I dreamed of a city called Glory
It was so bright and so fair
As I entered that gate, I cried holy
All the angels met me there
And They carried me from mansion to mansion
And all The sights I saw
I said I want to see Jesus
He's the One who died for all

I bowed on my knees and cried Holy, holy, holy
I clapped my hands and sang Glory,
Glory to the Son of God
Glory to the Son of God

When I entered the gates of the city
My Loved ones all knew me well
They took me down the streets of heaven
All the saints were too many to tell
I saw Abraham, Jacob and Isaac
Talked with Mark, sat down with Timothy
But then I said, I want to see Jesus
He's the One who died for me

I bowed on my knees and cried Holy, holy, holy
I clapped my hands and sang Glory,glory, glory
I clapped my hands and sang Glory
I clapped my hands and sang Glory
I clapped my hands and sang Glory
Glory to the Son of God
Glory to the Son of God


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You see, the human part of us gets really glued to this life. Afterall, this is the life we know. We want to live fully. I think that sometimes I (I will speak for myself) forget that I am just passing through. That this life is just a blip in view of eternity that we will spend with Jesus. I remember when I was a young married, I would pray, "Lord, please just let me have kids before you come again." and then when I had kids I would pray, "Lord, just let my kids grow up before you come again..." and then it is "Lord, just let me see my kids married..." and now it is "Lord, just let me see my grandchildren..."

I realize that I often have my eyes so tightly fixed on my life here and now, that I miss looking at Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I realize that sometimes my eyes are turned so inward, that I fail to see what God is doing in my life. Sometimes I get so stuck in the valley, that I forget to look on the face of my Beloved Jesus - as he carries me out of the valley.

I used to be scared of dying... and then my mom passed away, and somehow, the scariness has gone out of death.
I realize how close I came to death in March of 2006. Somehow, God had another idea for me at that time, as it is only through my sister that we believe I missed death that day!
And now, it would be that I would see my grandson Jay. At this point, it is only in death, or at the second coming of Jesus. Either way, it will be a reunion that will be bigger than we can ever expect! A reunion that is second to none.

Heaven....
this is where my thoughts have been reminincing to. Again, not sure why, but they have. Do I expect to go there soon? Not that I expect, but then again, we don't know God's plan for us do we. There are some mysteries Jesus holds. He knows our beginning and our end. He knows the number of our days, just like he knew the number of my grandson's days, before one even came to be.

Heaven...
a place where there will be no more crying, no more sickness, no death, no pain...

When I was younger, actually at camp, we used to sing this song:
"Heaven is a wonderful place
filled with glory and grace
I want to see my Saviour's face.
Heaven is a wonderful
Heaven is a marvelous
Heaven is a wonderful place."



Note about the picture: I took this picture one afternoon a couple summers ago. A storm was developing outside. When I looked at it later, I saw some faces in it... and I began to refer to it as "the great cloud of witnesses"