God? Can you speak louder?

I am on the "eve" of my return to ministry at the church. My 3 months off have ticked by and it is time to return. The last month and a half have held many MANY changes for us, as an extended family for sure, with Mom K. being so sick and also being in and out of the hospital. Looking back over the time, since I walked out of church on the 15th of January ~ I see how God has taken me through one thing after another after another. I see where He has picked me up off the floor time and time again. I see where He sometimes just listened to me. I see where He often embraced and held me tight. I see where He cared for me through the arms of those who love me. I see where He cared for my immediate family the same way. I see where He is beginning to take the pieces of our hearts and mend them together.

Looking back I also see where there is still so much work to be done in my life ~ in our lives. It seems that my life especially ~ I have been resistent to some things.
And yet, in the midst of this life ~ I have seen God. I have felt God. I have heard God. I have been kissed by Him more times than I have written.

Yesterday I was reading through old journals - especially over the last few years since I left my 25 year career back in 2001. I came across an entry from Feb. 3 ~ 2004. This entry was written just at a time where I had already worked for our church in an interim position for almost two years... and at the time of writing, I had been obedient to God (after putting a fleece out to him) and I was waiting to see what McIvor was going to do with my resume as well as the many others they had received for my position.

As I read this again yesterday, I thought "oh God, how timely again." He always seems to remind me of what He has done, and what He is going to do. He always reminds me that following Him is not for the faint of heart!! (which is why O Lord, it is my desire to follow you with my whole heart!)

The exerpt form my journal was actually an email I had received from "THOUGHT FOR THE DAY" - a daily email I used to get (before it was banned by our I.T. guy at work!! )

I am not the author, and I don't see where the author is mentioned. But I want to share this with you.

WHEN GOD CALLS

So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. NIV Exodus 3:10

Have you settled into life and been lulled into routine? When God called Moses to lead the Jews out of Egypt he was basically a nobody ... a shepherd who for the last 40 years has been tending his sheep in the dessert. And yet, God said, "I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt." (Exodus 3:10) Pretty big assignment for a nobody! Moses thought so too!

Moses, excuse #1: I'm not good enough.
God, answer #1: I will be with you.
Moses, excuse #2: What if they will not believe me?
God, answer #2: Tell them, "I AM has sent me to you."
Moses, excuse #3: What if they don't respect my authority?
God, answer #3: You will have all of MY power.
Moses, excuse #4: I'm not a good communicator.
God, answer #4: I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.
Moses, excuse #5: Please send someone else to do it.
God, answer #5: But you are MY choice... I'll tell you what to tell your brother, Aaron, to say to the people. Just do it!

What is God calling you to do with your life? What is your unique purpose for living? How are you responding to His call? What excuses are you making up so that you don't need to do what God is asking? What have been God;s answers to your excuses? Look at what He accomplished through Moses... the nation of Israel was relaeased from catpivity and God's name was glorified to all who heard. Think about what God can accomplish through one man, one woman who is sold out to Him and obedient to His call.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I think it is funny that this is much the way I acted with God when back in 2001, I KNEW He was calling me to leave my 25 year career to ?? I had no clue!!
He also used the story of Moses with me too!!

Today ~ years later...
All I know right now is ~ living a mediocre life is not enough!
All I know right now is ~ I want to live fully, all-out for Him!
And all he wants is for men/women (i.e. Me and You) to be sold out to Him ~ and obedient to His call!
Hmmm..............
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, here I sit, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I have a great cup of strong coffee beside me (with a few more cups in the coffee pot!). The house is quiet except for the DVD I have on, Ernie Haase and Signature Sound "Dream On"

These guys are so much fun to watch, and they seem to love Jesus sooooo much!
(we are going to see them with our friends Kim and Kevin in May, when SS comes to Wpg with the Gaither Show)

As they sang this one song ~ it spoke to me, and it sort of all works together, or at least I see the correlation! Hope you can. Maybe God is speaking to YOU today too!

lyrics for: Dream on

When Joseph was a little boy
He was driven by his dreams
God spoke to him
Told him He had chosen him
When others didn't understand
Joseph still believed
And trusted Him
Trusted and was willing to

Dream on
When the world just didn't believe
God had promised
Never to leave him alone
Dream on
Follow hope wherever it leads
For in the seed of dreams
There's promise of the dawn
Dare to listen for the music
Keep on following the star
Morning can't be far
Dream on

There's not a valley deep enough
That He won't lead you through
He'll walk with you
Walk the roughest roads with you
No mountain ever rose so high
That you can't climb with Him
Then stand up tall
Stand and look down on it all

When the world just doesn't believe
God has promised
Never to leave you alone
Dream on
Follow hope wherever it leads
For in the seed of dreams
There's promise of the dawn
Dare to listen for the music
Keep on following the star
Morning can't be far
Dream on

Well, I think I have done far more "reflection" in this blog than I intended at the beginning. Today has been one of those days ~ me and my thoughts. I once said to Alvin that I wished each of my thoughts could be recorded automatically for me to print out later and review. If nothing else - these last few months have been full of thinking!

God, you are sovereign in my life. You are the ultimate I AM and you are in control of each day of my life. The beginning and the end, and all of the middle too!
I do not want to live a mediocre life! I do not want to live "safe" and for me God, that is such a stretch because I (even though I fly by the seat of my pants) still know that I do like having my "ducks in a row!" I guess that is my form of control.
God you know all! You give me little bits at a time, and I truly want to be found faithful. Hear I am Lord ~ your servant listens. Give me strength to obey, even if I don't get all the details! Find me faithful Lord, find me faithful. Amen.