I am upstairs when I should be downstairs sleeping. I had a feeling upon crawling into bed that this may happen. I guess I could take my sleep juice, but figured that perhaps I just had some things to think over and say. SO here I am.
Life has changed a lot.
The news has nothing else on except for COVID-19
I get many COVID-19 emails.
Many of the emails are talking about how hard the virus has affected donations, and would I please give?
I get that. Our ministry has been affected too.
No, I have not sent out any COVID-19 pleas for money.
But I have recently received 3 surprise donations which totally surprised and blessed me, and therefore the ministry.
God does things like that.
Overnight my daughters became home-schooling moms. One is a teacher by career, and was enjoying subbing vs full-time teaching. I still think that homeschooling is much more than even a teacher by trade really wanted to do! I have to say though that my daughters are knocking it out of the park. I am so proud of Ashley and Leah. I seriously do not think I could have done that!
I am also in awe of my sister and brother-in-law who are homeschooling their grandson. It is certainly something that they never thought they would ever be doing. COVID-19 changed that.
We have done drive-by celebrations for a young friend who turned 17, and roadside celebration for our friends who just got married ... and we have another couple friends who are changing up plans for their wedding as well. COVID-19 has changed everything that is any kind of celebration.
We celebrate "church" by watching online. There are many many services to choose from. And like someone said, you can go to church while laying on your bed in your pj's, with a big cup of coffee on your bedside table. I have wondered aloud how many people will quit going to church now that church has come to them through a variety of social media options.
WORK has changed for me. I hosted my last group March 15 and the same day I wrote emails to every single booking - pretty much every weekend was fully booked, and many weekdays. It was hard as many had been booked for months, and some for a year. In some cases I knew without a doubt that the women really NEEDED to get away...
The retreat cancellations did not mean refunds as no downpayment is ever required. But I also know that the last part of the year is pretty booked too, and it would be impossible to book all these groups and single retreaters into spaces.
Oh, and we postponed the banquet - which brings a big chunk of donations in ... and well, time will tell what we do with the banquet as the date gets closer, and COVID-19 just seems to be increasing in numbers testing positive.
Even grocery shopping has changed! Seriously - I have grocery shopped with SaveOn for the past almost three years - and it seemed like overnight, it was impossible to get an order through. All of a sudden the thought of entering a store was overwhelming.
I will also say that I have experienced more angst over this all. I went through years of a chronic cough and every time I got anything - it always settled in my bronchial tubes ...
The memory of bronchial pneumonia will forever live with me ... and in some ways I feel that puts me into a risk category - or a second one, since my age puts me in one too!
The thing is ... in the midst of all this COVID-19 stuff .... yes, MUCH has changed, but that also includes some good stuff. I have heard families talking about how this has brought them together.
YES. And I have heard about calendars opening up and people having room to breathe again. YES. I see people out walking along Henderson Hwy. And I have also seen more people jogging than ever before. Is this because the gyms are closed now? And like me, even my personal trainer is no longer coming into my home, and I am relying on the files of old work-outs that he made for me weekly over the last five years.
In the midst of this all - I am finding that I have time - lots of time to spend with the LORD, and I have to say that it is sweet. But it has also been work in some ways, as I knew going into this, that He had some things to tell me, and to work with IN me and WITH me and THROUGH me.
I have awoken with remnants of dreams... although not much has stayed or made sense.
I have awoken during the night, with someone on my heart and prayed for them.
I have awoken in the morning with songs on my heart that have played and played during the day and even for days after.
I have awoken with a sense of HEY LORD HERE I AM ... WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME TODAY?
And during this time, I have been given a responsibility to pray for others.
Lots has changed. Hard stuff. Good stuff. All mingled together in the midst of this season of COVID-19. Oh I am so tired of being bombarded with it all ... sorry I have used the word so much on this post - but may as well call it what it is. It has changed me. It has changed us. And we will never be the same again.
Thing is during this time of angst and unknown ... and change... I know that my God never changes.
People can say "where is God in all of this?" "why doesn't HE do something?"
But I have seen that God is right in the midst of it all.
Drawing people to himself ...
Walking with us. Listening. Embracing.
He is still Sovereign.
And He is still in control even when everything looks out of control.
He continues to be my Rock - my Strength - my Refuge.
He is my HOPE during this time.
As I sat down in this chair in front of our fireplace (while my husband is fast asleep downstairs) the line from a song came across my thoughts ...
It was this stanza that I heard ...
When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
I knew the tune because it is a song I grew up with. Today I listen to it being sung by Jon Buller and friends (I have put it below for you to listen to).
In the midst of these times - HE IS MY SOLID ROCK!!
I am standing on that!
with love,
J
The Solid Rock (On Christ the Solid Rock)
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' Name
Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my Hope and Stay
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