God has me on a journey - and as I travel it, this blog reflects the thoughts and musings (and the odd butterfly) from the heart of a middle-age woman, who is learning how to love with all my being, live fully and with no regrets, embrace life with my husband,kids and grandkids, and to let God lead in the dance of life that He has me learning!
These days, I am working through the Life Journal Bible reading plan put together by Pastor Wayne Codeiro (who we had the great privilege of sitting under his teaching one Sunday while we were in Hawaii) I have started on this plan before - but this year - I am bound and determined to read through the Bible once again. I have to admit - Leviticus ... not so fun reading ... but now I am in Deuteronomy and it is getting better. Reading it through the S.O.A.P approach makes me read, observe, apply ...
ANYHOW ... today I was reading in the beginning chapters of Deuteronomy. These are the chapters where Moses is speaking to the people and giving them the last big talk (BIG talk) before they cross into the promised land - leaving Moses behind. (I have wondered how Moses felt - the sadness but that is for another post, not this one).
This chapter holds some of the verses that I love!! Here they are:
4 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.[a]5 And you must love the Lordyour God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Moses is telling them - LISTEN UP!! UNDERSTAND what I am telling you! He is telling them to see the LORD as Sovereign! To love Him with ALL their heart, soul, and strength. To commit not just a bit - but WHOLE heartedly. To tell their children ! Even to write them on the doorposts so that they will never forget! After all - you go in and out of a door several times a day!! What a good way to remember.
And this portion made me think. And as usual, I have more thoughts than actual answers. My thoughts take me into a place of contemplation ... and a place of wondering what my response is.
Here are some of my thoughts:
Do I really love my LORD with all my heart? With all my soul? With all my strength? If so ... what does that look like in my every day life?
I want to commit wholeheartedly. My "word" for 2014 was "abandoned" as in I want to be totally abandoned to Jesus!! Do I live a wholehearted commitment to Jesus? And what does that look like in my life?
Do I talk to my children about the LORD? To my grand children? Is living for Jesus part of my every day in - day out conversation? Do my children know that I am in a relationship with Jesus Christ? Do I recount the faithfulness of God to me, to Alvin and I, to our family, to my parents, to my grandparents. (My grandparents were first generation to love Jesus as LORD of their lives)
What are my thoughts in response? I am so thankful that Jesus knows that I am so human - and often so negligent in my relationship with Him. YET He still loves me so completely and unconditionally. And covers me with such amazing grace. WOW ... In my every day, my thoughts are often on the LORD. He affects the decisions I make, the answers I give, the actions I take. HE affects my relationship with others - family, friends, and acquaintances as well as new friends I meet through our ministry.
I know that I want to be totally abandoned/totally and wholeheartedly committed to the most amazing Saviour Jesus. I also know that sometimes I just run ahead on my own - as if I can handle life just fine. (NOT) Commitment is often hard - as sometimes you may not feel like doing/being/participating - but I have come to see that following Jesus - HE never lets you down. My life is a continual giving up and giving over to Him. Continual! It's about laying it all down before HIM ... often many times during the day. I am so glad He is good with that!
Do I tell my kids, my grandkids. YES! I thank God that Alvin and I raised our kids in a God-loving home. We may have done a ton of things wrong as parents - but we kept God as head of our home - and that was RIGHT :) Over the last 15 years especially we as a family have seen over and over how God is at work in our lives - in mine, in Alvin's, in our marriage, in our kids, and I see how the grandkids hearts are already in tune with Jesus. Over the last 15 years, we have walked through such extreme lows and such amazing mountaintop experiences and a whole lot of dusty road miles! Seriously - there have been such hard times that we were face down often. But always in hindsight - we see the plan that has unfolded and while we don't understand parts - we continue to believe He is Sovereign and in control. Living our life in ministry now - has given us a new boldness, a new awareness of where the LORD leads you if you are willing to go on that adventure with Him. Yep - an adventure for sure! This is one reason that I really want to write my story - as I want to put in print even some of what the LORD has been up to in our lives - so that my grandkids can see HIS faithfulness to the generations!
I often wonder if I had been in the tribes of people - going from Egypt to the promised land - but wandering around for 40 years in the wilderness ... would I have been so rebellious - so heart hardened - so disobedient? I will never know will I. However, I know that sometimes this gal wanders around a lot - in her own wilderness, and one thing I know for sure - that walking WITH the LORD is way better than running some other way, or refusing to follow.
LORD GOD - you are my God and your are the ONLY ONE. Help me to love you with all I have - my heart, soul, and strength. Show me the times I am half-hearted. Help me to be fully committed to YOU and to be a woman of faith for my kids, my grandkids and those who may come to know me. May my life be a living testament to your faithfulness, your love, and your grace. May all who enter through the doors to my home know that YOU are LORD of my/our life. Amen.