Thursday, December 30

perfect peace?

I read this portion last night before I went to bed.  Seems I am not sleeping so well these days.  Sometimes I have a hard time believing that God does have things under his control.  I like to have my ducks in a row even if my personality is to "fly by the seat of my pants" which by the way, is getting harder with each year I grow older.  (That being said I do KNOW from my past, that God CAN be trusted ... sometimes I just have a harder time giving control over to Him I guess.)

So I read this.  And re-read it.  And read it in different versions.  And have read it over again and again this morning.  And read it out loud to Alvin too during breakfast.  (O Lord enlarge my faith!)

Isaiah 26:3-4 (New King James Version)

3 You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
4 Trust in the LORD forever,
For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

(New Living Translation)
3 You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
4 Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.

(The Message)
People with their minds set on you,
you keep completely whole,
Steady on their feet,
because they keep at it and don't quit.
Depend on God and keep at it
because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.

O Lord -
may I depend on you
may I keep at it
may I find peace
this... THIS is my prayer for us all.

Saturday, December 18

Happy First Birthday Sweet One

Everett John

My little sweet boy
my grandson
do you know how much I love you?
of course not
you are just barely ONE!
A mixture of your mommy and daddy
with bits of your grandparents mixed in
your blue eyes sparkle at the wonder around you
and your serious look morphs into a smile readily and easily.

O sweet one - my second grandson
Everett John
how your granny and poppa love you
We watch you walking
and wonder where the time went
the last year has moved along
and your birth brought us so much joy
our hearts overflow!

Little One
you love to snuggle
and play peek a boo
coming quickly to look around the corner and find us
you love your toys
and we notice how much you are learning more with each new day
you are a living breathing miracle little one
made in the image of God - whom we hope you grow up to love and trust fully

Little sweet Everett
Your name means "brave one"
and it is my prayer little One, that you will live boldly,
and that God will use you in life - for His glory
It is my prayer that you will live boldly
and that you will be "dangerous" for Jesus
meaning that you will not be satisfied to live complacently
or comfortabley
or just settle for status quo
but that you my sweet Grandson,
will give your life to Jesus, and live all out for HIM.

Dear Little One
I love to hold you
and play "Round and Round the Garden went the Teddy Bear"
I love to sing Jesus Loves Me
and The Birdies in the Treetop
You love music
You settle against me as I sing
or you bend your knees and move to the music!
music makes you dance!
I love that!

Today we watched as you opened your gifts
as you looked at us
wondering what occasion had us all in the same place
and not realizing that it was YOU we were celebrating.
O Little one - you are a gift to us

You sweet one
are so loved
so very

Happy Birthday Everett John!

love Granny

Friday, December 10

blessed.... truly, truly blessed

I have been thinking about being a granny - and how this is one of the best things in the world! In fact - while parenting my own kids was wonderful... there is something different about grandparenting!  My dad used to have a license plate holder that said - "If I had known grandchildren were so much fun - I would have had them first!"

After work - I headed out to Josh and Leah's to have a quick supper with Leah and Everett and then our little sweet boy and I watched his mommy head off to go and help a friend, and we settled down to some good playtime!

With him walking now - he is just so aware of his surroundings.  Life absolutely delights our little grandson!  I love seeing him taking it all in.  He is showing me the "wow" in life, and whenever I am with him - I am always brought back to what my priorities are. God has blessed me with amazing children, and now grandchildren.  And while we dream and imagine our little Jay running in heaven ... we miss him so much here on earth.  Alvin and I have often seen children whom we assume are about Jay's age - at this point, 2.5 years of age.  And our eyes fill with tears without either of us saying a word.  The heart knows. 
And in a week we will celebrate Everett's first birthday and as we look back we see how he has filled our life with joy - with each gurgle - each giggle - each new stage - new move - and now with seeing him light up with excitement as he recognizes us and runs to us to be lifted up.  Oh what joy.

Tonight we ate - we played - we played some more.  We changed him into his jammies - brushed his teeth - read a book - sang - prayed and laid him in his bed.  As I held him, and he nestled his head onto me - it just felt wonderful.  He loves to be held and I love to hold him.  That is one of the best feelings in the world.

I am blessed.... truly truly blessed.

Thursday, December 9

only my Heavenly Father can love like that!

It is Thursday - although it seems like Friday. I am at Mountain Bean again... you know, I am needing free Internet again.  I am seriously thinking about buying the little portable thingy you pay for monthly and use for Internet.  Have to inquire about that.  The other day we were so desperate to get the emails - and for some reason it was not happening at the Bean.  I realize how much I love checking into the Internet!

It has been a full week of learning for me.  I have learned how to take blood for WHATS YOUR TYPE .. and the next day went to a school and typed kids.  That was fun. Yesterday I went on a mobile for a Blood Clinic and each time I learn something new.  I am loving my job.... absolutely LOVING IT.  I am also loving the people that I am meeting.  I think I am catching on - but I am convinced it is because of the good training I have received from Lynne and Debbie. 

On Tuesday after I got back from the school - I decided to donate.  I was not sure if I could because I had travelled, but Cabos San Lucas is not a risk area.  I had prepared for donating (unlike the time before) and this time my blood "flowed like a river" she said.  There is something amazing about donating... I am pretty new at it - but each time I work I see cards from people that have donated ALOT...
When Mom was in hospital - watching the life blood drip through her IV into her veins - it just really struck me how important donating is.  I am also a pretty rare blood type - B neg.  Each day I am learning more and more about blood donations - so I really encourage you to donate too!!  Did you know each bag of donated blood can help save 3 lives!!

So today is Thursday - and I have a few things to do - and places to go.  The weather outside is not so nice - our Michael will be shoveling again.  But this is December - and well - we have had enough snow already to last us the whole winter! 

I have been so conscious over the past two or so weeks since we have been living at Mom's temporarily - that some of my life is still a little out of order - for instance my journalling time - and my Quiet Time with the Lord.  Yesterday though, I was early to work, and actually sat in the parkade for a little while - and God seemed to direct my thoughts to Hosea chapter 11.  (Yes Hosea) The chapter was titled "THE LORD'S LOVE FOR ISRAEL" and as I read - I just couldn't help but feel that God was saying - "this is for you too"

What did I glean yesterday, sitting in the parkade with my Bible?  (chapter 11 - verses 1 - 4)
Well - it says, "When Israel was a child, I loved him and called my son out of Egypt."   God says that "I myself taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand."  "I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love."  "I lifted the yoke from his neck and I myself stooped to feed him."

But even though God loved Israel SO much.... like a Father loves a child - Israel didn't get it.  It says that "the more I called to him, the farther he moved from me." and that even though God Himself taught Israel how to walk - "But he doesn't;t know or even care that it was I who took care of him."   The bottom line - Israel walked away, and refused to return to God!"

Hmmm.... got me thinking.  There have been times when I have called out to God - cried out - and have known where God has led, intervened, carried me... but there are other times when I can get going on my merry way - and try to do things myself, in my own strength - oh silly me!!  It is usually those times that my life gets busy - and the first things that get pushed aside are my QT with the Lord - and then things just feel messy.  I NEED time with Him.  I know that.  SO why do I always seem to get into these ruts of neglecting Him?

I know how much I love my kids - and my grandsons.  I also know how I feel when I haven't seen my family for a while - or how much I miss talking with them.  Hmm... guess my Heavenly Father feels that way too!
He desires relationship with me - and with you too!

Reading the rest of Hosea 11 however - brings such comfort - as I see the Father's heart continue to bleed love and compassion over his children - even though they are far from Him.  He can not let them go!  It says in verse 8b that "My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows."  He is not mortal like us - BUT it says, verse 9b "I am the Holy One living among you,"

Ah, the love of my Father - draws me right up onto His lap again - and when I lay my head against His chest - I feel and I hear His heart beating....
What love - what absolute love!

Friday, December 3

alone on a Friday night.... at my "special place"

It is Friday night - after seven thirty and I am hanging out in my favorite place - and I am alone.  Alvin is working his second night (of two) and me - I got home from work (thanks to my daughter Ashley who picked me up) and I then took Alvin to work, went to work-out at Curves, went to the store and now came here. I love coming here - because I can drink good coffee and use their free Internet.  You see - right now we are "hanging our hats" at Mom K's condo.  It is a long story - so I will give you the bottom line.  We had to be out of the loft for a couple days while some things were being done.  It has been a little longer than we thought, so each time we make a trip back from the loft to the condo - we seem to have "just one more bag" of stuff. 

Living in Mom's condo has been very interesting.  You see, it still smells like Mom's place - especially as I mentioned before - I could smell the TIDE as it wafted out of the storage room.  I think I will always think of Mom now when I smell TIDE (the powdered type).  In fact today, I got into the car at the end of my shift, and Ashley said - "Mom, you smell like Grandma's condo"  And I realized it was because most of the clothing I had on, including my jacket - had been washed in that powdered TIDE.  Funny how "smells" remind us of people/places and times!

So - like I said we are living at Mom's for the time being.  It is still full of Mom's furniture and household goods.  Of course the hospital bed, and other things are gone - but everywhere we look - there is just evidence of her.  It actually has been good for us to be there as it has helped us to bring closure to the reality of her being gone. 

In the meantime - my sister-in-law Ruth - had the cable and the Internet and the phone all cutoff.  Which means it is very quiet at Mom's.  And that is why I am here checking email.  I did get a phone call from my good friends Betty and Willy and they are planning to come and have coffee here in a while.  So I won't be alone much longer.

It is sort of weird when Alvin works nights - actually I use those nights to catch up on whatever I want to.  Sometimes meeting with girl-friends... or with my kids... or just hanging out and watching a good movie!

Today was a fun day - and a day FULL of learning.  I picked Alvin up at the hall this morning at seven fifteen and then he drove me to work - for seven forty-five.  I was going out on my first "mobile" and by 8 am was in a van with other women - heading for Windsor Park school.  I am training with an amazing woman - whom I have loved getting to know.  Her name is Lynne.  I was telling Alvin as we drove to my workplace that I am LOVING MY JOB!!

This is the first job in a very very long time - that I do not "take home" with me.  I kept being told that I would love being a Donor Services Rep - but I didn't know how much.   I am so thankful that God provided this for me.  So very thankful!!

Anyhow - just got called - and my friends and I are not having more coffee - but instead we are going to a great little joint on Main Street for supper.... so I am outta here!
Have a great evening!  I know that I am!