Thursday, June 30

leaking coffee cup, banana sandwich, and Tuesdays with Morrie

Today I worked.  Feels like my work schedule these past two weeks has been "feast or famine" as last week I worked alot and this week I just worked today.  BUT that is okay ... the "best of both worlds" being I have time off and I have work.  Anyhow today was a work day - I went out on a mobile.  So this morning, I left with my "lunch kit" in hand.  My lunch kit is like a black purse like thingy that actually carries more than just my lunch on most days!  That way, if I can stuff my book, my wallet, my keys, and my datebook along with my lunch - it is good! (especially if I am dragging the work computer bag along, which I was today).

I picked up a Starbucks coffee (with cream, which I only do if I get Starbucks) and drank it over the course of my shift.  I was able to pull my book out and read a few pages.  It is a great book.  I have had it for a while - but for some reason just never got it read.  But it is good.  It is called TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE (an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson).

Today something struck me.  It was the chapter on marriage.  Mitch (author) and Morrie are talking about marriage.  Morrie (who is dying from ALS) is married to his sweetheart Charlotte for forty-four years.  When Mitch and Morrie were talking the conversation went like this:

"I've learned this much about marriage," he said now.  "You get tested.  You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't."
Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work"
Morrie smiled.  "things are not that simple, Mitch."
I know.
"Still," he said, "there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage:  If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  Your values must be alike."
"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
"Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
"Personally," he sighed, his eyes still closed, "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it."
He ended the subject by quoting the poem he believed in like a prayer:  "Love each other or perish."

Tuesdays with Morrie, page 149
~ -- ~ -- ~

Marriage - there is not a day goes by that I am so thankful that at 16, (a long time ago!!) the Lord brought my sweet husband into my life.  He is a gift to me. Especially during this time of building, I see HOW MUCH of a gift he is!  Not a day goes by that we don't laugh together, and yes, we cry together too.  I can't imagine my life without him!  (we celebrate our 33rd anniversary this September)

Life - each day is a gift.  A blessing of many things!  I am so thankful.

Tuesdays with Morrie has been a book that I highly recommend to anyone.  Not only a good read, but full of life lesson's.  You see, Morrie is dying from ALS, and while his health declines, he meets with Mitch Albom and talks about the great lessons in life!

I would lend you my book, but it doesn't look so nice any more.  You see yesterday, my Starbucks coffee leaked a little into by lunch kit, and so my book looks a little used!  And, it likely smells like my peanut butter and banana sandwich too! So maybe you want to pick up your own copy!!  Enjoy the read!  I am.

Saturday, June 25

things that made me smile today

Today I was wondering about a few things that happened.  First of all - I was driving to work at 7 am ... and came to an intersection where the streets are sort of rearranged because of construction.  I was almost going through when I thought perhaps the lights way to the right were for this intersection.  I stopped but then I went!!  WHY DID I DO THAT??  Not sure THAT will make me smile because it was actually a photo camera intersection.  :(

I was walking behind someone that had his white sports socks pulled right up to his knees and his shorts were long and so you couldn't see any of his leg.  So - I smiled, because I always think of what a dilemma it is for guys to wear socks.  First of all:  white socks or black ones?  Then, do you pull them up or leave them down?  Then, should you always wear runners or are other shoes okay?  And if they are shoes - should they ever be sandals?? (I worked with men who always wore berkenstocks and socks)
What a dilema you men have!!  Walking behind that guy and thinking about that made me smile.

On my way home today, as I was driving I saw an older man (about 80's) walking along sidewalk.  It had a railing as it was close to the river.  Some weeds had grown up, and I watched as he slowly bent down and pulled the weeds out by the roots.  Old habits die hard!  I was thinking that his man likely had a nice lawn when he was in a house.  As I drove I noticed that along the path that he had walked - it was devoid of weeds!!  That made me smile.

Today as I was working, people came in to donate blood.  They were happy and thankful for the beautiful day.  It is always nice when they go out feeling like they have truly given the gift of life to another!  I love it when people are friendly and you can chat with them!  Today, many of the people made me smile.

Keep Smiling ~ 
it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
author unknown

Thursday, June 23

recalling verses

This scripture was "mine" when I was sick and in hospital in June 05, and then when I and went into hospital for a while in March 06 and experienced my  near-death experience in the hospital, as well as my "recovery" so that I was able to have a scheduled hysterectomy in May 06.  I was given this scripture from a dear friend named Bert - who recited it to me, prayed with me and also shared his story about healing with me.  It has become one of my favorite portions.  I also just remembered that when I was in Youth Group, we used to sing this psalm, and it was called BLESS THE LORD.  Maybe this will be the song on my mind as I head off to bed!  Lord you are so good!

Psalm 103  (New International Version)

Of David.
 1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits— 
3 who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases, 
4 who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion, 
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Look Up .... W-A-Y UP!

Today, as I was on my way home, I spoke with Leah to see how their day went - and of course - to check and see how our little sweetness is.  I was hoping perhaps that I could swing by on my way home!  Sure enough - they were just outside playing, and I loved to hear Leah say "stop by on your way home if you want to" ... that was ALL I needed to hear.  I figured that stopping by for a little playtime and a few hugs and kisses would be a great end to my full work day.

I spoke with Alvin (who was also on his way home from the land) and well, he figured he would stop by and play too.  He made it there before I did.

Alvin loves to play outside with Everett.  He has so much time and patience when it comes to Ev and taking him to check out the truck, the tractor (at the land) and letting him sit in the driver's seat of most of the vehicles that are in our yard.  When he is at Leah and Josh's house - he loves to play ball with Everett. Alvin said to me - "watch how excited Ev gets when I throw the ball up high."  So as I held Everett, Alvin threw up the ball - and well .... there is this tree!  And the ball lodged nicely into its boughs.

I had to laugh and grab my camera (which I take with me everywhere that I go as I do not want to miss any photo op!)  There was Everett - standing on the grass pointing and looking UP ... up, up, up
to the ball in the tree!  So then Alvin had to use another ball to dislodge the first ball, and yes, it did come down and Everett was so pleased.  I love the picture of him looking up!

look closely ... you can see the blue ball in the tree

The good news is that when we left about half hour later - all balls were on the ground and accounted for HOWEVER the birds that must have a nest somewhere in the boughs of this big tree - they were NOT happy, and there was alot of noise from them!  

Monday, June 20

show us your muscles!

When Josh was little - he used to do "big muscles" for us.  I will never forget seeing him - put both arms up and squeeze and make his muscles for us!  Of course we would laugh and cheer and think it was the cutest thing ever!!  Funny, he still does things that make us laugh and cheer and think he is cute - even though he is now a dad himself.  So.... when Everett started to "make big muscles" for us ~ it just took Alvin and I back to those days when Ev's daddy was the same age.  Where does time fly?

On the weekend, we were sitting around Ash and Mike's table, celebrating Father's Day on Saturday night since the guys were on shift Sunday.  And, Everett started to show us his muscles, and since I try to never go anywhere without my camera - I was able to catch some cute video of our little Sweetness!!

Everett ... show us your muscles!!  The face that he makes will make you laugh!  We did!


Today these verses have resonated in my thoughts and my heart:  they are verses that God has used over and over and over and OVER (did I say OVER) again to bring peace, strength and courage to me.  Feeling like a need a dose of that again.

first of all - my favourite verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, 
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future.  
Then you will call upon me 
and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  
You will seek me and find me 
when you seek me with all your heart, 
I will be found by you" declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 29: 11-14a  (NIV)

then the selected verses from Joshua 1: 5b, 6, 7, 9b, 18b

I will not fail you or abandon you.  
Be strong and courageous ...
Be strong and very courageous...
Be strong and courageous!  
Do not be afraid or discouraged.  
For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
So be strong and courageous.

Friday, June 17

the women prophets in my life

proph·et·ess (prf-ts)


1. A woman who speaks by divine inspiration or as the interpreter through whom the will of a god is expressed.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

I have been blessed in my life, through two friends who have spoken into my life, that which they received through visions.  Actually, I have had three friends who had this God-given gift, although one is in Heaven now.
At one time I would have "thought" that this could have happened in Bible times.  I believed it was a "gift" but had never had friends who spoke God's words into my life.  Thing is - at the time I was also fairly naive as to what power the Holy Spirit poured into the life of a Christ-follower.  I had not experienced the audible voice of God yet.  That however changed in the very early 90's. And, once I came into ministry as a pastor at McIvor Ave. M.B. Church, I had the joy of meeting these three women who in turn "shared" with me.  All three friends, who I believe are prophetesses (sp?) were not always comfortable with sharing what God gave them . It is rather unnerving at times to say the least - when one has such a gift, and also is given the responsibility to share it as God directs.  The other thing about these women - is that they pray! 
Years ago ~ June 2003 to be exact, the second Tuesday of the Month ... and then the following Thursday, 2 of these women (Betty and Ellie) separately shared something.  It is Betty D's vision that I wish to recall here again:  (you will also find this on the blog at
(I wrote) Shortly after that, one of the women from our church Council took me aside. At the time I didn’t know Betty’s gifting was prophetic. She asked me if I had applied for the job. I told her yes, that I had, but I had not told anyone. Then she told me that she needed to share something with me. It was a recurring dream that she had been given and God wanted her to share it with me. I also asked her to write it down. Email from Betty, sent June 17, 2003 ~ Subject: Women at the Well dream

“I can’t even begin to tell you how honored I feel that my dream meant something to you. I will attempt to describe it for you: You were wearing a blue robe with long sleeves. It had a tie at the waist, but tied to the back like a dress. You didn’t speak, but your expression was calm and searching, and you were very focused on seeking need and meeting it.

You went to the well (which had a few other women around it too, but they didn’t interact with you) and dipped in your dipper. You then proceeded to seek out a woman who needed a drink and you went to her with your dipper. I wondered why you didn’t use a bucket, as this would be more efficient. It came to me that you were meeting people’s needs individually, and that what one person may require from the well is very different than what the next person would need. You were indeed honoring people by quenching their thirst on an individual basis rather than being efficient and thereby risking missing needs. This use of the dipper also ensured frequent trips to the well for yourself. It also seemed that the women you were ministering to couldn’t quite make it to the well themselves, and required you to intercede on their behalf. Perhaps that is why you didn’t interact with the women who were already at the well (actually, it was not that you didn’t wish to interact with them, but I had a sense that they were already engaged amongst themselves and it would have been an interruption if someone had approached them). You seemed focused on going where the need was, rather than where a need was already being met.

This dream struck me as quite significant, and I experienced an ongoing “nudging: that I needed to share it with you.”

The night that Betty told me in person, once she was done I asked Betty if she knew anything about my story, to which she said she did not. I told her what God had entrusted me with ~ His Vision for women! Women Refreshed at the Well! Her eyes filled up with tears, and I felt like the hair was standing up on my arm. To this day, as I recall that story, I still get that feeling!

For me, this vision that she shared with me - was so significant - and I knew God was at work.  However, it was not until today, when I bumped into these two women (Betty & Sara) that Betty told me that she "left something out" when she told me that night, 8 years ago.  (hard to believe it was so long ago).

You see, as I sat today, in my unexpected meeting at Mountain Bean (I walked in to get a coffee and there they were - complete with big hugs!).  So we sat and talked for about 45 minutes.  They had both been past the build... and Alvin had shown them around and as well - they had taken time to pray as they were there.  However, Betty felt that she would like to come again, and felt the need to pray even more throughout the house!  I was sharing with them what God was doing in my life.  I shared how he is making "beauty from ashes" and that I believed that it was when we lost our little Jay that God really began to say "Get the ball rolling" louder and louder.  I shared with them that I firmly believe that God is going to use our experience and journey in/amongst our incredible sorrow ~ to speak into the lives of other moms/grandmothers/aunties.  But I said, if someone had told me 10 years ago that there was going to be a branch off this ministry - to help women going through loss of children/grandchildren ... I would not have believed it fit together.  But God knew and knows it all.

It was at this point that Betty looked at me and said there was part of the vision that she did not share with me that day.  She said that she didn't share it "because it was not the right time" to share that part.  She said that in the vision, my face showed deep deep grief and sorrow.  I had this feeling run through me ... only God brings this all together to redeem our broken hearts. 

Deep grief and sorrow.  It is still there.  It will always be there.  Months and years will pass, and the journey will look different years from now, but it is OUR journey and has been incredibly hard but I can say that I do believe that God does and will make beauty from ashes.

I left Mountain Bean (only because I had to get to work) but promised to connect with these women soon.  They are so thrilled by the house - and by what they saw.  They are an integral part of this vision as well - and I see how God is using them and have a sense He is going to do something very special.

I also believe that there is a branch to this ministry that back in 2000-01, God had not revealed this part.  I believe that (and actually Sara had a vision she shared with me that also affirmed what I believe) that God is going to use the ministry to bring healing into the lives of those who have suffered deep loss/grief. 

One of the rooms, I have told Josh and Leah that they could "design" it because I want it to be a room in remembrance of our little Jay Benjamin.  I think this room will have its own unique ministry!  I am not sure what we will call this room - but I figure I need to get praying about that.

God is at work, knitting the pieces together.  Healing is happening.  The journey goes forward, and sometimes feels like I go a few steps back. None the less ... it is my journey.  It is "our" journey together as a family.  And God - is giving us the strength.  Sometimes I look backward and see how intricately it is all woven together.  Sometimes just that, makes me stand in awe.  God is at work.  He is bringing His vision for the women to pass.  How terribly exciting.  

And with that - dear ones - I am saying good-nite.  My husband, the worker bee, has been fast asleep and well - I need to hit the hay too!  Night.  Thanks for letting me share! 

Monday, June 13

unless the Lord builds the house

Last night I sat inside of the house as Alvin worked on the roof.  I had my book to read, but for a while I just sat there quietly.  Thinking.  Imagining.  Remembering.  And once again I felt something wash over me.  You see, I realized a number of things.  Let me explain.

Back 10 years ago or so, when God laid the retreat vision on my heart ~ you have to know, he laid the details out one by one.  At first HE took me by surprise.  I was sure I was hearing Him speak but I was not sure who I should tell.  It would not be the first time I realized that many do not believe that God speaks tangibly ... with words.  But I can not deny the experiences I have had, one which included the audible voice of God.  Remembering that still makes the hair stand up on my arms.

God laid out some details.  One such detail was that I needed 5 rooms so that I could host 5 women at any given time - 5 women who may want to retreat for a day and/or night.  Not 2 or 4 but 5. 

When we had to go to the municipality to ask if we could do "bed and breakfast" and if we could have "five dedicated rooms instead of 2 that were allowed" I was concerned.  My thoughts were - what do I do if the RM says "No.... 2 or nothing."  Or even if they say 3 rooms only ....
And then I realized that if God said it - then He would bring it to be a reality.  And that night, they passed our requests for 5 rooms for "bed and breakfast/retreat." 

Fast forward to last night.  There I was sitting on some piled wood in the foyer of our house that is under construction.  And as I felt it wash over me - I realized that as God was in all the details in 2001 ... and as He was in the details in 2009 ... He is still in the details now.  He is in the timing of the build being completed.  He is in the day to day construction.  HE IS in control of the project that He has called Alvin and I too.  Oh, there goes the feeling that washed over me last night. 

You see, as I sat there, and watched the sun go down, I noticed how the sun shines onto the big wall on the east side.  I love the sun!  It was then that I realized that Alvin feels fully called to this ministry, even if it is a "women's ministry".  It was then, as I heard him pounding the nails into the shingles on the roof that I realized how invested he was ... so much so that he spends his time, his energy, his prayers ... as well as all of the money from our house that we sold in Anola ~ and he is dedicated to this house build.
We dream together.  He listens as I run details past him.  He drives while I take pictures of siding on houses around the community.  He steps out rooms, and helps me decide where to put the toilet or shower or bathtub.

Alvin is committed.  He believes in what God has laid on my heart, and on what God has since confirmed through a number of things in our lives.  God needs both of us, and many more, in this ministry.  God is using us to build His vision that He has entrusted to us.  No wonder I keep having these reality checkscomplete with goosebumps.  HE IS MAKING IT HAPPEN! 
I Praise You Lord!! 
Psalm 127:1a (New Living Translation)
Unless the Lord builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted.

Psalm 103: 1-2 (New Living)
Let all that I am praise the Lord;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.

Sunday, June 12

a picture is worth a million words!

I have a one year old "point and shoot" camera. Often I wish I had a more expensive camera - one with better capabilities. But then again I would have to take some classes to learn how to use it, so maybe the Canon point and shoot is sufficient!!

I carry my little pink camera everywhere because you just don't know when you will need to "capture the moment"

I have come to love the images that my little camera catches (especially if they are of our little grandson Everett!) There is just so much to see. So much that reminds us of the greatness of God in creation and life all around us. Hope you enjoy these pictures - they will go without any descriptor on them.

This was the last picture I took as Alvin was locking the gates at the land!
The moon shining through the trees.
My nighttime setting made it look like a silhouette with the moon shining through.

Good night house
Good night tools
Good night birds
Good night Moon

Tuesday, June 7

some favorite pics from the land today!

I spent some time at the land today.  First of all - Ash and I went and got lunch ready for the boys.  It was so neat to see what they were working on all morning.

I then left and returned a few hours later, so that I could bring Alvin home.  We decided to eat at the land.  It was exciting to see what the guys had done in the hours of the afternoon. 

While we were there - Josh and Leah and Everett came back to the land - and what fun to have our little guy there - checking things out.  Of course - Papa is more than willing to take him to try out the tractor, and to share his fruit drink with him too! 

What a wonderful ending to a great day!  Thought I would share a few fav pictures from today.
 a little piece of watermelon while Ev checks out part of the new deck

 when the boys were done for today - part of the overhang roof was up!  looking good!

 sometimes my man DOES take a break ... some times.
 this is what it looked like when I left at one thirty

 tonight, Everett checks out Papa's tractor

 more pictures from this morning
 from left to right:  Alvin, Mike (son), Mike Frank, Ashley, and Josh on the right
 Papa had permission to share some of his fruit drink with Ev
 Just checking out the steps ... no, he didn't get a chance to try them.
Everett standing under the scaffolding

Sunday, June 5

53 things that I love about my life

Today is my birthday.  I just got home from being out with six very good friends for supper/gelati and coffee.  This morning, dawn marked the completion of my 53rd year!  53!  Somehow I do not feel older!  Okay, sometimes I feel old when my bones are aching!  Anyhow - I decided that to celebrate - I would write down 53 things that I love about my life - and that I thank God for ... so, here they are!!
  1. Jesus Christ - my Lord and Saviour!
  2. my sweetheart Alvin ~ of almost 37 years almost (which includes the almost 4 years we dated)
  3. my kids - all 4:  Josh, Ashley, Leah and Michael (I wrote them the way they came into our family!)
  4. my sweet sweet Grandsons:  Jay Benjamin in Heaven; Everett John - here with us on earth!
  5. my extended families!
  6. my friends who love me, put up with me, listen with me, cry with me ... you know who you are
  7. my church family
  8. my care groups and "coffee" group:  you all have been my lifeline at times!
  10. Sunshine on my skin
  11. my work with Canadian Blood Services
  12. COFFEE!
  13. the smell of my grandson's hair after his bath
  14. laughter (complete with tears rolling down the cheeks at times)
  15. fellowship over a good meal
  16. a good place to journal
  17. my BIBLE!!
  18. meeting new people daily
  19. cold pillows when sleep
  20. walks along the gravel roads
  21. opportunity to share my life story with others
  22. walks with my man
  23. watching birds at the feeder
  24. spending time with my family just hanging out
  25. hours spent journalling (what WILL my kids do with them when I am gone?"
  26. singing and cuddling with Everett
  27. Curves exercise times
  28. travelling!  (I just LOVE travelling!)
  29. the breeze that blows through the window at night
  30. seeing today's young people so passionately living for Jesus
  31. Beth Moore bible studies
  32. fuzzy yellow caterpillars
  33. sharing grandchildren stories with my friends
  34. watching older couples walk hand in hand
  35. building the ministry (or watching Alvin and the boys building it!)
  36. reading 
  37. BBQ'd steak or ribs!
  38. singing to my grandson
  39. smell of fresh coffee first thing in the morning
  40. creation around me
  41. bouquets of flowers!
  42. curling up with my husband as we fall asleep
  43. driving in a convertible (when we borrow Josh and Leah's)
  44. realizing that I can still learn new things - never too old for that
  45. remembering my mom and dad and their input into my life
  46. learning new things each time I read God's Word
  47. the sights, the sounds, the smells at a baseball game
  48. music - the universal language
  49. the seasons with all their beauty
  50. the feel of sand between my toes
  51. sitting by the ocean
  52. knowing that I am beloved!
  53. knowing that each day is a gift from God!

Thursday, June 2

missing "home"

definition of a squatter:
an individual who settles on the land of another person without any legal authority to do so,
or without acquiring a legal title.

Yesterday I was at the condo (Mom Klassen's condo) where we have been living since the middle of March.  Ashley came over to hang out with me - since I was waiting for the cable guy to come and put cable into the condo.  We have been without tv/internet for what seems like forever!  And I decided to get it in here since there was a good deal!

Anyhow - Ashley said, "Mom, I am glad that you finally got cable in - so that you don't just feel you are living like squatters!"  We laughed, but really - that whole thing had been on my mind.  The living like squatter's thing.

It is now into the beginning of our 11th month since we moved from Anola.  Yes.  11 months.  And since that time we lived in the top suite of Josh and Leah's barn (until they moved in March) and then moved into Mom K's condo - which is still furnished.  I actually thought I could do this well ... but some days, it is a struggle.  We have no "home" anywhere.  Although, I don't want to be either pitied, nor ungrateful because while we don't have a home - we DO have a place to come and sleep! (Even though we really want to sell her condo!)

Sometimes I can get down.  Sometimes Alvin can get pretty down too.  This whole thing is taking us way longer than we would have liked, and had thought.  Sometimes I just want to turn the clock back a few years...

The other day was a bit of a downer kind of day. I watch how hard Alvin works.  (And can't help but remember when he worked day and night on our house in Anola this time 28 years ago - except then he was 25 years old, not 53!!)  Alvin works hard and works long.  And, I see when he is just plain tired.  And me - well I find it hard to see him tired. I have been trying to be there more often - and trying to make sure there are meals ready for lunch.  (living on site will be so much easier eventually!)
Occasionally I see him frustrated and a little down, however, what I love about him is that he never stays down for long.  (unlike me) 

Just yesterday as we were driving to the land we had this conversation:
Me:  "Do you ever wish we hadn't have moved from Anola?" 
Alvin:  "No, I am so glad we did.  It is nice being close to the city."

Me:  "Do you ever wish we hadn't have started this project?"
Alvin:  "No, right now it is sometimes hard, but when we are done, it will be so good."

And inside, it felt like I exhaled again.

You see - the vision God laid on my heart, is not just one mine - but my husbands and also my kids.
And, the bottom line - if we didn't know (without a shadow of a doubt) that this is God's vision for women, and just entrusted to us --- we would just give it all up when we got discouraged, or down, or tired.  BUT ... we believe there are reasons He has entrusted it to us - and want Him to find us faithful.

There is the saying that "home is where the heart is" and when I look at my life - my life is in the palm of HIS hand (Thank you Lord!) I have my husband by my side, my kids and grandson around me, my friends who share in our lives... what more could I want? Oh, and I have a good bed to sleep in - and a couple pillows to lay my head on! 

So ... I can keep living like a squatter for a while - because I know - it will all come to be!  God is Sovereign over this - and what he has called us to do - He will equip us to do it.  Sure - things may change but He never does!  Now when I get feeling anxious, or feeling home-less ... I just need to remind myself what He said in the following scripture which came to mind.  I have put them below in two versions which I love - the NIV and also the paraphrase THE MESSAGE.

Matthew 8:20-22
New International Version (NIV)

20 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
21 Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”


Matthew 8:20-22
The Message (MSG)

20Jesus was curt: "Are you ready to rough it? We're not staying in the best inns, you know."
21Another follower said, "Master, excuse me for a couple of days, please. I have my father's funeral to take care of."
22Jesus refused. "First things first. Your business is life, not death. Follow me. Pursue life."

Bottom line:  He just wants me/us to trust Him with it all ... and to follow him!  He never said it would be easy. (take a look in  the Bible -  I can not think of any scripture where Jesus says following him will be comfortable, or convenient, or any of those words!! ) And, it is not without anxious moments, or worries.  However - in putting Jesus first - He also tells us to give our cares, worries, anxieties, questions (all of it) to HIM.  And in this - in His strength to pursue life fully!  After all - Jesus said in John 10:10b that He has come so that we may have life - and have it to the full!  He wants us to put him first - and to pursue life fully!!  This is my prayer.  We value your prayers on our behalf as we continue to build this ministry's "home"