Lately, I have not allowed myself to "just be" . My QT with the Lord has been lacking. The fact that I am fighting with fatigue these days (presumably accented by low iron) just adds to the way life has been.
I give it all at work - but then on the off days, find myself just wanting to get other things done, odd jobs tied up. I have been missing a regular schedule quiet time with my Lord, and I am seeing how that lack affects my life so drastically. I am finding that I am not allowing time to just BE STILL and sit with Him. I miss that.
I think God has used several things in my life to try to impress on me the fact that it is so necessary to just be! I don't know any other way to put it. Sometimes when I talk to people, they totally get the "just BE" part. Other people just don't get it. That's okay - it is their life. Lately I have had people asking me - "so what are you going to do at the retreat centre?" "What are you going to offer for the women as far as types of retreats" "What topics/sessions will you offer"
I was trying to answer their questions, and as I mentioned to Alvin, I often came away from there feeling like "what in the world are we doing?" But today ... after a conversation about the retreat bed and breakfast for women that we are building - God just kept saying and reminding me that when He first gave this vision to me 10 years ago - He said it was to be a place where women come come and "just BE!" God never gave me the impression or the go ahead to plan a place where it was so busy that women went away overwhelmed, or as tired as they came. NO ... the vision was all about offering a place where women would be able to retreat to - and just be able to rest, renew and refresh by providing a place where women could feel relaxed and able to just rest if they wanted to rest ... walk if they wanted to walk... read a book in their pj's if they wanted to .. sit in a hot tub ... get a nice lunch or perhaps breakfast in bed if they stay over night. A place where they could come alone or with a sister, or a friend. A place where they could journal, or paint ... sit or sleep ... talk with others or enjoy quiet ... walk, or bike or just sit on the porch with a great cup of coffee and listen to and watch the birds!
I realized today that when some people ask me "what am I going to be doing ... what am I going to be offering etc..." that it makes me feel hurried.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever happens in the house will be made very clear to me, so while I work on writing down ideas and reworking some of them ... I am going to continue to just be and listen to what God is saying. I do not want to offer a place where there is so much happening that I lose the initial instructions from God . He said to offer a place where women could come and just be. That is my intent . O Lord, may you find me faithful to this.
I came across something I journalled in summer of 2002. Seems I always have a tendency to run hard and then realize I am not taking time to have my quiet time with the Lord. Today, He has spoken again, and well, after two full FULL days of work - I am so glad I can have the quiet time - and to hear him loud and clearly saying ... JOY JUST BE ... be still.
Thought I would share this writing with you - if you wish to read it! As we go into the Long weekend - may you find the time to just be ... and to be able to rest, renew and relax! Enjoy "be-ing" ...
Yes my child, just like a parent holds their child
and still have room for you to lean your head on