Christmas Past and New Year future

Seems like life is crazy full.... to say it was crazy busy perhaps would be even more accurate. While I hate the word busy as it implies a negative connotation, I am thinking that it would be more accurate. I have not had time lately to do the things I really love... like spending more time with my kids... like reading some of the great books I have waiting to be read... like meeting people for coffee "just because" it would be fun....like knitting.... or watching a funny movie... or just sitting and "being".

I have realized a few things about myself. Through the time off I had, helping to make Alvin's recovery easier, I realized that I struggled to be a good caregiver. Why was there such a struggle? I also realize that I spread myself too thin - trying to be all things for all people. not sure why, as I really don't think people expect that from me. I realize I am not good at delegation. Even over the christmas meals, I found it hard to delegate when people asked.
I realize that when I get stressed and busy, the first things that go out the window are things that mean alot to me.... exercise, good eating... laughter.
Oh Lord, help me to laugh more. I want to enjoy life to the fullest.

Live life to the MAX!! Okay so what does living life to the max look like for Joy Klassen? Me, the least adventurous... the one who hates to have any attention drawn to myself, whether it be kareoke, or dancing, or whatever.
But I want to live to the Max. Lord, i am really relying on you to make this very clear and obvious in my life. give me strength, and courage if needed.
Lately I have this sense within my being, that God is doing something new. This is exciting, exhilarating, and scary at the same time. Although I know he uses the ordinary to make extraordiniary, so not sure why it is scary, other than it is unknown. I feel like I am perhaps being gently removed .... Lord, is that it?
I also believe that your desire to get things going with the retreat center. Please direct my thoughts, my prayers, my actions as you desire.

Help me to GO BIG OR GO HOME!
for you Jesus... for you.
Thank you for this season, for your birth which we celebrated. Be my strenght Lord, please be my strength. amen.
I love you Jesus.
joy