Well, it has come - and gone! The much anticipated 50th birthday!! And funny thing is, I don't feel any different! And yet, I can remember when I was little, and thought that 50 seemed ancient. Funny how things change when you are on the other side of the coin! This is a year of celebration! About a month ago, our kids surprised us - I don't think I have been so surprised in my life! There in the park were a potpourri of our friends and family - from all the areas of our life - family, friends from church, friends from outside of church, friends from our neighborhood - all mixed up and waiting for us to arrive so they could surprise us. The celebration was our 50th birthdays, our 30th anniversary (in Sept), our becoming grandparents (in July) and getting a new son in law in Sept. Amazing year, much like 2003 was (our 25th, Josh and Leah's wedding and Ash's grad). I love celebration! I love anytime my family is together. I love friends but realize that I am still struggling with trying to set boundaries in my life!
How do I deal with those - in the midst of the excitement of life! I am realizing alot about myself lately - perhaps that has to do with turning 50! I realize that I am a "do-er" and doers find it hard to "not do" things that they see needing to be done. We also have a hard time saying no to people! I am trying to set some boundaries, mainly so that I am not always "doing" and able to just "take in" the things that God has for me - in the gifts of family, friends, and just resting in his presence.
The other day, I decided to just sit with my Bible and my journal, and a great cup of coffee at Mountain Bean, which is a nice, new little coffee shop close to church. So, there I sat, outside on their patio area, with the sun shining on my back, and with my Bible. I could hear the traffic, and yet I felt like I was in this "other space" almost oblivious to the fullness of life around me - and just celebrating His Word and His presence for the first 45 minutes prior to starting my day at church. What a gift.
He is continuing to talk to me about the retreat vision He has entrusted to me. Along with that, the Lord laid Psalm 37 on my heart... and I realize that He does desire to give me the things of my heart. It is about trust, about committment -
I think that lately, with my life being a little overflowing in the "work" area of my life, I have realized that if the retreat center was open, I would be the steadiest customer!
I still believe that it is the desire of the Lord's heart, for this retreat center to open in Winnipeg - and I need to figure out how to set boundaries in some areas, so that I have room to proceed in other areas i.e. Women Refreshed at the Well.
So Lord, thank you for this day.... thank you for my life! God, you are so good. You have entrusted your vision for retreat for women on my heart - and I ask that you would show me how to proceed without anymore delay. I also ask Lord that you would help me to set healthy boundaries, so that I will experience your freedom in other areas, to move ahead as you see fit.
God, you are so good! I love you!