TURN - my word for 2025

                                                                                

Each year I keep my ear open to what I am being given as per the word for the year.  I have done this for many many years, and often even heard words for my kids.  I believe they do this on their own now.  And then, I have usually gotten a silver ring to wear with the word inscribed on it.

Such it was that I was listening for my word at the end of last year.  There were a few words that came across my heart, such as - family, adventure, rthymns, Joy, time and turn.  Hmm... I needed to sit with these words longer.  And soon one began to stand out as the one to pay attention to.  Okay, at fiurst I did think it could be Joy, as last Christmas, my "spiritual mom" and I exchanged words for each other as a gift of blessing, and she gave me the blessing of Joy. but as much as I loved Joy as my word, I did not feel it was the word for my choosing for 2025.  It felt like one word I could not avoid, it kept rising up.  So after a few weeks into the new year of 2025, I chose it as my word.  TURN

Today I was thinking about it, and looked up the definition.

TURN is to move in a circular direction wholly or pratly around an axis or point.

To move something so that it is in a different position in relationship to its surroundings or previous position. 

I then decided that there needed to be some verses for this year, to accompany my word TURN and these are the ones I have chosen:

Phil. 4:6-7: Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has donel. Then you will expdrience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  his peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7:  Give all your worries and cares to God for He cares about you. 

Prov. 3: 5-6: Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do and he will show you wwhich path to take.

Prov. 16:9:  We can make our plans but the LORD determines our steps.

and Isaiah 46:4:  I will be your God throughout your lietime until your hair is white with age.  I made you and I will care for you.  I will carry you along and save you.

So where do I go with this?  Well, here was some of my reflections from this morning:

TURN is not a negative word, but one that seems like it is positive and brings some anticipation.  It talks about moving in a circular direction around an axis.  I know that my axis is Jesus Christ.  And my circle of life began with God breathing me into being, fearfully and wonderfully made in my mother's womb.  And I know from the same Psalm 139 which is one of my favourites, that he also knows my first day and my last, upon which that day my soul will leave this old body and go to live with him.   So the thought of TURN/turning in this circle of life, with Jesus as my axis, is really resonating with this old gal.

The Scripture that I have to accompany this word for me, for 2025 tells me that I do not have anything to fear in my TURNing.  He knows when I will TURN, and what from, and what towards - and I am good with that.  I know from past history with Jesus as my LORD of my life, that He has been my guide, my provider, and the one who I know I can trust with anything, and that he would give me peace.  So even though neither you or I  know all that this year holds - I do know from past experience that anything I may be concerned over in this year to come, I can give it to him because he says and I know - He cares for me. And I also know that He holds my year ahead.

I also love the Scripture about we can make our plans, but it is really up to God.  SO TRUE.  I just encouraged someone yesterday, when she told me about her plans for the years ahead, to hold them loosely as God is the one that ultimately holds those plans and can redirect our steps very quickly .  And the last Scripture - I know God is my God throughout my lifetime!!  I am so thankful.... and my hair is sort of white or partially, but hoping I am not at the end yet lol.  I am so thankful that God carries me through life.

So with all this in my heart - I am holding onto my word for this year - TURN.  And I have a feeling that God will make things clear to me in his time, and in His way - and that I will be willing to follow his lead knowing that He is the one that directs my steps.    

Oh as I was writing, I was again reminded of another favourite in Isaiah 43:19 where God reminds them that He is doing a new thing even though they do not perceive it.  And to end with - this verse - 

Isaiah 30:21  (ESV):  And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

So onward I go - into 2025.  Seriously we are halfway through Feb.  Where does time go!!

Take care and be encouraged!!

with love,

j

PS.

As I was writing this, the song by Pete Seeger came to mind - Turn, Turn, Turn

As he said, he took the words from Scripture, from Ecclesiasties and put the words to a tune.

Just click on the link - and take a listen!  It is a duet by Judy Collins and Pete Seeger 

https://youtu.be/n0xzyhoeu1Y?si=0VWloOS7vgrC5t5e

a few thoughts on Grief

 

Last month in school (SoulCare Spiritual Direction Training) we spent the month on the theme of Grief.  One of my friends said to me that they didn’t think I would have to learn anything else because I have walked closely with grief.  Thing is - I learned a lot.  I am so thankful to Cathy, Corrina and to Beth especially who took us through a session on Grief.

But today, some of these thoughts bubbled to the surface - read them if you wish.  

I sit inside and notice the colours that stream through the prism on the window

Shining onto the floor, the cupboards and the counters

Warming my heart and making me smile

The cold winter wind blows

Snow has stopped but drifting continues

Just to remind us that this is winter

And I want to just hunker down with a good book, 

a hot cup of coffee 

and my heating pad 

The old well used blue one that has travelled the world with me, crossing the ocean, over the mountains, in the valleys and it continues to bring comfort 

Winter is hard

But the sunshine is beautiful and the snow is bright white.

The grasses that turned brown in fall

Are still tall and blowing in the wind of this day

The brave little chickadees are feasting on the new seed block (apply named WINTER) that I put out for them yesterday

And well, it seems like all is well with the world

At least the world that I see out my window.

I sit inside and think of the prayers that I have prayed today

Some are the same as days past

A few new prayer requests come via text … “Joy can you please pray …”

I have sent out a few of my own requests

It is wonderful to have people who you know will pray immediately when you send it

But today the need to pray is strongly felt in my spirit

I have a sense of the need to pray and then pray some more

I have a sense that my old friend Grief is just a bit out of sight

Old friend I say?  Can that really be

That this one that I know as Grief is anything but a thief of happiness and stealer of joy?

I am very aware of Grief - not right beside me, but close enough to know 

How real Grief is

Not something I am every over

Nor something I am ever through 

But instead Grief holds a special place in my journey of life

And in my story that I hold with deep sacredness

And I know that Grief’s presence has changed me, I believe has made me stronger

More compassionate, and has enlarged my faith in the one I know as the great I am.

I’ve been praying today 

and have felt the heavy weight of what is happening with those I know and love

I have become so aware of the responsibility I hold as one who can pray 

and “hold up the arms” of those I love and pray for

As Aaron and Hur did for Moses when they were fighting the Amelikites in Exodus.

As long as Moses hands were up, they were winning.

But as he got tired, they came down, 

and that is where the responsibility came in for Aaron and Hur

To come alongside

To hold up the arms of the weary Moses

So that the battle could be won.

That is how I see prayer.  

That is how I see my responsibility

I also know that when my arms are tired - they are held up by those who pray for me.

And often this prayer is walking close to Grief

So while there is a heavy weight that I feel

It is not one that is strangling me, or causing me to fall because of the weight 

Instead it is the weight of knowing

And I want to be a soul friend who can be there - 

to pray - to listen - to carry - to weep tears with another.

And to watch and see as Grief may or may not make an appearance.

Grief.  

Do I dare call you an old friend?

For I know that at times you were anything but the “darkest night of my soul”

Grief, I know that you sometimes just sit quietly, 

and then I remember something, and you seem to raise your head, and yes, I see you

Somehow Grief, you have not kept the fear that you think you had.

You have not killed me, 

but walking with you in my journey has really helped me to grow stronger.

Funny how that works isn’t it.

So maybe you are an old friend.  

As you have taught me that living life will always involve grief.

And you have shown me that the greater the love, the greater the grief.

You have also shown me that I can sit with other’s in their grief and I can be someone who holds space for them to also sit with you.

Grief you have shown me that as long as I love life, I want to live in the fullness of it

So that you are never reminding me at the end that I have “missed out” on life

I want to live fully.

I want to live a life that is alive.

I am thankful to God for that life, and for this journey that I am on.

And its okay Grief, I am not scared of you any more

Even though I know you will visit again in my lifetime

Instead I want to honour you Grief.  

To honour the losses I have lived

Whether they are little or the big ones that have brought my face to the ground

I know true comfort in my grief happens 

when I acknowledge my pain instead of trying to ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen.

I know that no one can ever take it away, 

but there is beauty in someone coming alongside.

Sitting alongside with Grief and saying, 

"Hey, I am here because I love you ~ And I will stay”

Where are you precious heart of mine?

Where are you precious heart of mine?

In this winter season with memories of Christmas past

And stepping over the threshold of a new year?

What are you feeling?  

Dear heart - you are carrying a lot.

Memories tucked away and yet to be unpacked when there is time

Time

Oh how it passes, one tick to another

Minute to hour to day to week to month and year

You have much tucked away to be pondered don’t you?

Dear Heart - I know you have carried every emotion possible over the many many months

Times of laughter and long conversations. Shock and disbelief.  Great joy. Deep grief and sorrow intertwined with anger chasing after it at times. And through it all, the emotions that happen when the heart knows the treasure that its family is!

But Dear Heart of mine ~ you’ve grown

You’ve wept and prayed, wept more and prayed more

You’ve been exhausted over and over

You have stuck close to God, 

Close to what you believe is right and true.

You’ve helped your family walk, and your kids and grandkids know that family is everything, and we can trust one another to be there for each other.

Dear Heart of mine ~ you’ve soaked up the warm rays of the sun shine and tucked away the sounds of creation praising

You’ve taken in the beauty of life around you ~

The sound of the wind through the trees, the colours of the Creator’s pallet and the smell of the seasons as they moved from Summer to Autumn to Winter to Spring and then through the rotation once again.

To the winter season you are now in, 

But still now even in this season, you are still overjoyed to take in the  “awes and a-has”

that you have encountered on your daily journey

Dear Heart of mine ~ you are filled with hope for all that lies ahead, both known and unknown.

You sing with the music of your soul that is touched and filled with love, by LOVE.

You know LOVE to be the Trinity that is alive and well and dancing with you in a dance that you are learning  

New steps to a tune just being written

LOVE ~ the One who sings over you with delight and rejoices over you ~ and dances

Dear Heart of mine ~ I know you’ve been exhausted at times but you’ve continued to walk the journey

Trusting that LOVE will not let go of your hand

Just like you did with your children and now with your grandchildren

You dear Heart are tired and weary yet so full and overflowing with love and hope

Dear Heart of mine ~ keep breathing.  Full breath in and out.

And concentrat in the goodness around us.  The goodness of God whom you know deeply and intimately

Feel the breath of the Spirit ~ in and out.

Filling and emptying, in and out.

Life force 

Drinking deeply from the Well that never runs dry!

Dear Heart of mine ~ I see you

I see your worth.  You are so precious

You are integral to all I do and the reason I do it.

I will protect you with my life because you are precious.

This is my vow to you dear heart of mine!

the last few moments of 2024

 It is quiet in the house

outside there are fireworks being set off, and I can hear the pop pop pop of them

the christmas tree lights still glimmer

the glass of wine is almost finished

just like this year ...

it has been a year, and has been full of much

good and hard

happy and sad

making new memories and recalling old ones

birthday celebrations

and some funerals

Father Time marches forward without missing a beat

and we are marching with him whether we want to or not

2024

your chapter is almost complete

and we will shortly turn the page over to the next chapter of our lives

and all that is held within the parameters of the 365 days that begin in ten minutes

and tonight we will go to bed after kissing our people Happy New Year

knowing that tomorrow will feel different because it begins a fresh new year

Goodbye 2024

your chapter is complete and full of stories

some just beginning, some finished and some taking on a plot that is unlike anything we may know

only our Heavenly Father knows what this year holds

and we can be fearful or choose to live it fully

(O LORD HELP ME TO CHOOSE TO LIVE IT FULLY)

and we can write our daily entries on a beautiful new journal

using threads that represent the color and goodness of our lives

on a brand new tapestry

but in this moment

in this time

we say good-bye 2024 ... we end with gratitude in our hearts

and step forward with great hope

Good-bye 2024 - 

your ending is a new beginning

We do not know what you hold 2025

but our trust is fully in the ONE who holds it

and our God never hangs us out to dry!!

So onto the great adventure that I feel like He has for me/us.

Only time will tell.

Good-Bye 2024 ... and hello New Year!

I am glad to see you.

The Gravedigger

 

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There he is, the Gravedigger.  

As I sit in my big white “prayer chair” I look out the window that gives me a direct view of the back portion of the cemetery that belongs to the church that is our neighbour to the south of us.  I saw his blinking light on his machine, as he slowly made his way to the spot where he is to dig.  He positioned his excavator and got out, and walked to the place he was to dig, and then very carefully walked out the measurement, literally drawing a line in the snow with his boot.  And then slowly and it feels with great respect, he digs.  I know from having an excavator in my family (Alvin) that some of the things I see him doing, are to make the hole precise, and the ground around it also level, so that those who place the treasured box down, do not have to worry about uneven ground.  It is a process not to be hurry and I cannot help but wonder what is going through this man’s thoughts.  He knows that it has to be exact.  Bigger than what is needed but not much.  He knows that he is working in an area that has other loved ones buried close by,  I can tell that this is not the firs t grave that he has dug.  He gets out to do a visual inspection.  Everything is important.  The depth, the width and the length.  He hops back in to do some more work.

Meanwhile around him, all is still.  Snow has covered everything now.  Snow came late to our part of the country, but everything has a blanket of white.  The trees are bare, and grey.  The grasses yellowy brown but still moving with a slight wind.  Not enough wind to move the wind ornament, but enough to make the bullrushes gently sway.  

The mud pile is growing, and with each bucketful, the arm of the excavator goes deeper into the hole.  Even that has to be even on the bottom, so that the casket lays level.  Nothing about this process is rushed.  It is slow, precise, careful.  Even in death, rules have to be followed.Even in death, there is a process.  And I have been given a front row seat as I sit here watching and typing.  The Gravedigger is out again, smoothing things, tossing a big clump of mud, still warm from the long autumn season, back into the hole.  He grabs his hood from the back and pulls it over his head.  

This process of digging is not foreign to me, as we have seen the Gravedigger several times at the cemetery.  And my thoughts go back to 27 and 28 years ago when our men went out to dig the grave at Balsam Bay Cemetery, first of all in May, for my Mum’s burial and then a year and a half later for my Dad’s burial in November.  There was no excavator, but just a group of men who loved the person they were digging the hole for.  One shovel full at a time, bringing out the sandy soil that is at the cemetery alongside of Lake Winnipeg.  A labour of deep respect.  A labour of love.  And then once the casket is lowered, the shovels are shared around, and family covers in the hole, and makes it complete.  

The Gravedigger next door is gone now - as I type this, the casket has obviously been placed, and the mud put back in on top of the treasured remains in the wooden box buried deep below.  He has finished the task and he and his excavation have left the graveyard.  

As I watched him, I could not help but think of life.  Seeing a grave being dug is a reminder of how quickly life goes by.  The Bible describes our life as a vapour or mist.  And sometimes when I look at how quickly the years are passing, it actually is unbelievable.

Seems as I age, I am attending more funerals.  I remember when I used to laugh that my mum and dad’s social life consisted of funerals.  It seemed they were just going to one after another. 

Life is but a vapour …

Our life matters.  It is a story that God has written.  HIS story written with us.  The Gravedigger likely doesn’t know the story of most of the people whose remains he buries.  But I wonder what his thoughts are as he digs the hole in which to lay the casket.  I have come to see in life that what we will leave behind a legacy - whether good or bad.  Each one of us will lay down a legacy.  

When I looked at the definition I saw two things.  The first one is this: 1) legacy : an amount of money or property left to someone in a will.  And the second definition is 2) the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. that took place in the past, or of a person’s life.

I am not going to talk about the first definition.  I do realize as my son put it one day, that their generation (my kids are 42 and 39) are a generation that will likely be affected the most by what parents leave behind and as Josh put it, I am not sure it will all be good for our generation (or something to that affect).  I am not worried about our kids handling whatever we leave behind, as they have made good decisions in life till now, and don’t anticipate it would change.  

However the legacy that I think is the most valuable legacy is #2.  The long lasting impose of particular events, actions, etc that took place in the past, or of a person’s life.  This is what is the most important in my opinion.  And I believe this is what I received as a legacy from my Mum, my Dad, Dad K, and Mom K.   And this is the kind of legacy that I want to leave for my kids.

The legacy I desire is the kind that they know was my life all the time, not just some times when I was on good behaviour.  I want my kids to know how much I love Jesus, and why.  I want my kids to know how much I love their Dad, and how much I love them, and how much I love my grandchildren.  I want the legacy that I leave to be one that causes them to want the same for their life.  I want my life to be full of everything that God desires for me.  I want my legacy to include words of wisdom both prayed, spoken and written to them.  I want my legacy to include the way God was faithful to me, and to us as a family.  I want my legacy to include them knowing that even in the hardest times, and even if I asked the hard questions, I still believed that God was and is faithful!  And He is Sovereign.  I want my legacy to be such that they know that I lived a life of integrity.  That I was kind and honest, and that I would fight for what was right and just.  I want my legacy to include my Bibles that I have written in, drawn in, and read over the many years of my life.  

Sure, I will leave them a few bucks LORD WILLING, but the biggest things that I want to leave are everything that makes me who I am as a Daughter of the most High, and a wife who loved to love her husband and a Mom who wanted to live fully and have fun while I did, and that my kids and grandkids would remember the spontaneous things, and the laughter.  As well, that my legacy would include the feelings of being held, and hugged and laid hands on and prayed over.

There is so much more, but those are some of the things that the Gravedigger had me thinking about.  You know, we need to live a life all out for Jesus and that is my plan!  We never know when the wisp or vapour of our life is blown out, but one thing I know is, I know that I am secure in the gift of Jesus amazing love for me on the cross.  

Yes, Gravediggers do teach us something, if we are quiet enough to watch, and to sit and reflect.  

And sure, I still laugh about my son who back in 96 when I had been sick, he jokingly told me not to worry about getting my house in order, because they would just call 1-800-JUNK but please tell him what books the money is hidden in lol…. To which I replied, “Sorry we have already spent it!”  

Only God knows our first breath and our last, but my prayer is that my legacy, when the time comes, will live on in the lives of my kids .  That is my prayer.   And all caused by the Gravedigger just doing his thing in the cemetery!!  Who would have thought!