Monday, May 11

A Mother's Love : open letter to my children and grand children



Mother's Day, 2020

 ~ An open letter to my children, in order of how you entered into my life and made me your Mom and also your Granny

Joshua Gerald ~ Ashley Marie ~ Leah Michelle and ~ Michael John
Jay Benjamin, Everett John, Roger Thomas, Matilda Joy & Maverick Chandler

Have I told you lately how much I love you?  Each and every one of you.
Some people say I love you "from the bottom of my heart" or as I have often told the grandchildren "I love you to the moon and back".....
but, expressing the love I have is bigger than those descriptions, bigger than trying to count the fluff that flies from a dandelion into the blue skies.

Let me try to express, however inadequate, with my words and thoughts.  The follow are my feeble attempt at penning those thoughts for you, my children and grandchildren.  The word GRANNY can also be read in wherever it says "Mother".  This is written with love, for you and while is says A Mother's Love - it should say THIS Mother's love, because the mother it is written about - is me.


 A Mother's Love
My reflections looking back on being a Mom/Granny


A Mother's Love
don't tangle with it
While it is unable to be adequately expressed in words
(and while with this I will still try)
Her love is like that of a Mama bear
Strong and ferocious
Willing to fight to the finish for her kids
The affects of her love is tangible and everlasting

A Mother's love
it can't be measured
it may look like big hugs and kisses
like gifts
or occasional surprise cards in the mail
or emails written to each of you to be read at a future date
but still - a mother's love just can not be measured.

It may look like tears that we read about God collecting in bottles
Or callouses on bended knees
or the sound of prayers reaching the throne room
or may even look like the joy on her face that even when captured in photo, 
can not be fully described

A mother's love may look like 
a young mom silently nursing her baby in the darkness of night, when the only light coming in through the living room window is the streetlights shining
a young mom brushing off dust on the knees of a child who has fallen
a young mom rushing her little one to emergency after falling down some stairs
a young mom going to the elementary school to ask the secretary to call the child out of class so that she could apologize

A mother's love may look like 
swinging on the swings
making endless lunches with notes in them
buying all the chocolate almonds so they didnt have to go door to door
driving to events and appointments and school
and the greatest memories of siting around a campfire together

A mother's love may look like going an extra mile even when she has no energy left
And knowing that she would lay down her life for any of her children of grandchildren if it meant sparing them
It is about impromptu visits,
and moving back a schedule in order to be there in some way shape or form for her kids or grandchildren
knowing that the only thing that cancels any personal calendar commitment - is her family.
that rule is written in love.

A mother's love is more than the names worn on the necklace around her neck
or the sweetest pictures in frames
or artwork on fridge
or cards taped into a journal.
It is oh so much more.

A mother's love is about those first feelings
falling in love with each child as they came into her life
Some by birth
Some by marriage to those birth children
but all in all - her kids.
it is about the love that grows with the next generation
that God brings into her life
one at a time, in the form of little bundles
called Grandchildren
each unique and absolutely the most beautiful children ever
the ones who call her Granny

Her love is about those prayers offered on behalf of her kids,
while her children were still too young to know anything about "Lord please send them the best spouse for them when they grow up."
Her love is about tiptoeing into a room and bending over a bed, with the moon shining into the room and onto the child
and asking God to forgive her shortcomings and shortness of word, and erase the memory from their hearts and minds
Her love is about crying at special occasions
and feeling such pride at watching them from young - to older - NOW
knowing her mother's love is still about 
encouraging words
talking through decisions
strong hugs
big kisses
and "I love you" spoken 

A mother's love is about
prayers for them and with them
prayer huddles inside houses, and perhaps parking lots
arms around one another
and sometimes tears
it is about prayer over the phone, or text or email
and often one on one
Praying for each one that she loves.

A mother's love seeps out in expressions that may at times push her out of her comfort zone
And melds with a deep sense of pride as she comes to see the uniqueness of each one
Their personalities, there characteristics, their expression
And the love just seems to bubble up and out
In ways that can not be adequately espressed
however would "look like" a root beer float that has had its ice-cream pushed down into the pop, resulting in a bubbling overflow of goodness .... up, over and on everything it spills onto
dripping
flowing
unstoppable
but oh. so. good.
That is a mother's love.

God knew from the very dawn of creation
long before he took the rib from Adam and formed woman from man
and breathed life into her nostrils 
God knew that she would be different
She would be unstoppable
Nurturer
She would be one who would show Jesus to others
in a way different than man.
In a way that was less showy, behind the scenes
Soft and gentle
steady and consistent
unflinching
unwavering
and absolutely unconditional...

Even if her heart broke at time for her kids
and even if it breaks at times for her grandchildren as she sees tears run down their cheeks
The love would remain steadfast and unmoveable
And always, ALWAYS love that loved unconditionally no matter what
Just like Jesus does.

A mother's love is all the greatest parts that the Father melded together 
when he created her
knowing she would be an extension of Himself and his love for his children...
which included her and her kids and grandkids ... and on an on
and to which this love would become part of her legacy to them.

And perhaps her fragrance would also be that which reminded them of Jesus
God knew this woman would perhaps be of little word but enough words when needed
That she would be a woman of action
That she would weep easily and worry a lot
God knew that she would sometimes fall into bed exhausted
because she had given all she had to give of her time, energy and love
But she would rise again the next morning and do it all over again as needed
Because that is how God made a Mother's love

Seasons come and go
The mother ages at the same rate as her children and grandchildren
one year at a time
and yet somehow age looks different on her
with her grey hair, and her laugh lines and wrinkles 
that seem to get deeper with each birthday
But in the midst of all of that - the greatest thing is that
Her love grows too
and so does her wisdom
and her love for God
 which in turn gives her more and more love for her children
and grandchildren
It is an amazing circle

Yes
A mother's love
don't tangle with it ...
Rest in it
Sit in it
Think about it
Thank God for it
and just keep loving her back

Her love is like the Mama Bear - 
strong and fierce

And this Mama bear ... this Mom and Granny  ...
would not want it
any
other
way!

Love for ever,
Mom/Granny




ps
Joshua, Ashley, Leah and Michael - this Mama loves you!  Way more than you know.
Jay (in heaven), Everett, Roger, Matilda and Maverick - this Granny love you.
Happy Mother's Day!
Thank you for being my kids and making me the Mom and Granny that I am.
Thank you LORD GOD for such a privilege.







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