The line from a song just entered my mind - "Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy ..."
I will be honest, I am not a person who has really been into identifying songs and artists etc. Growing up I knew which songs I liked on the radio - which songs I hear now that characterized a period of my life (like the early 70's) and when this line came across my thoughts, I could hear John Denver's mellow voice singing it.
It makes sense that today I hear this line from the old melody - as I am sitting in my corner chair, facing the outside. The sound of the lawnmower in the cemetery just beside us. The green of the grass, the gentle swaying of the bullrushes. The call of the birds who currently are taking a break from the feeding frenzy that is so characteristic of the birds this time of year. The day is beautiful and sunny. The trees are only beginning to turn colours and are still predominately green around our house. But we know that isn't going to last long as the hues of yellow have begun ...
This season we all know can bring anything. It can be everything from summer like temperatures to the bone chilling cold that comes before winter. It can bring the heavy frost that we have already experienced (the creeping vine displays the affects) and it can bring the sight of geese and the sound of gun shots along with them. And we know that the rain of autumn can quickly turn into the ice of winter.
This season is one where life comes to an end and everything goes into hibernation mode. Even we feel like just hunkering down for a long winters nap at times!!
The brilliant colours that are beginning, and bring such joy and wonder to our eyes - results in piles of leaves that become crisp under our feet when we walk. This season has always been a mixture of happy-sad for me. It was the season that I took off on my stress leave when I was a daycare director and found myself in depression. It was also the season that I spent with my dad in meaningful time together and conversation during the two months before God suddenly took him home. I will never forget the last time we sat together in my car as I drove him back from our house in Anola, to his house in Winnipeg. Or the very last time he sat around my table at Thanksgiving, and then, just over two weeks later, my dad was in heaven. Somehow just writing that down, floods my heart with memories. It feels like yesterday, but it was almost 23 years ago. How can that be.
As I love the season of new life and bright greens in Spring - I also love the season of fall with its sights and smells and sounds. September is a wonderful season for weddings - both Alvin and I, and our daughter and son-in-law felt September was a good month to get married. HOWEVER the season is not without some melancholy on my part. (apparently as I am learning, melancholy is a part of my type on the enneagram). My memory bank also holds some hard things that happened within this season we are almost officially in. And I have come to see that our internal clocks do not forget things that happened in our lives.
These days seems to be going by too quickly ... days to weeks and to months - we pass through the seasons one after another and next thing we know we are into another year. I am not trying to rush this, I am just speaking the obvious. We all know that we can not slow down time - but we need to make the most out of each and every moment we are given.
For me, the passing of time seems to be measured in how my grandchildren are growing. It seems week to week they change. And while their parents may sometimes dream about when the kids will grow up, I - on the other side of the timeline, know that at some point they too will say where did the time go.
How is it that at one time I thought 62 was so old, and yet now I am feeling that it is not old at all! Did my mom and dad seem old because of their life style? My mom would have never been caught dead in leggings ... but then again, leggings were not even a thing then. I feel like I am different than my mom in many ways and yet very similar. I am coming to understand my mom more and more and more with the passing of each year. I think we are a lot alike. I just wish I could sit and talk with her over a cup of coffee one afternoon. She loved coffee <3
Sometimes I wonder how it is that my parents have passed away, there is so much I wish I had asked them - I wish I had asked them which season they loved the most. Sometimes I wonder if my mom used to sit outside with her face tilted up like I sometimes do, soaking in the sunshine on it. Sometimes I wonder if my mom felt the passing of time as strong as I do. Sometimes I wonder if my mom had lines from songs cross her mind, and if she hummed along with them, in agreement. Did she experience sunshine on her shoulders?
What is it about experiencing that? Feeling sunshine on our faces, or our shoulders as Denver wrote? Why is it that everything seems right with the world when the sun is shining?
When I looked it up to see what Denver was thinking, I found this from the above link: "Denver wrote this song on an early spring day in Minnesota when the rain was gently falling. He found himself looking forward to spending more time outdoors and enjoying the sunshine. He said of the song, "On one level it was about the virtues of love. On another, more deeply felt level, it reach for something the whole world could embrace." It went on to say that" the song first appeared on his 1971 album called Poems, Prayers and Promises and that he found an audience with his heartwarming, spiritual songs that dealt with finding pleasure in the simple things." https://www.songfacts.com/facts/john-denver/sunshine-on-my-shoulders
Hmmm.... finding pleasure in the simple things. Hey John, I think I can relate.
In this time of change that we have experienced over the past six months, I believe it has been the simple things that have been part of the sustaining of this gal! Simple things like family meals on Wednesdays and Sundays, where there is noise, and laughter, and each person at times trying to be heard over the din of it all. For a small tribe of 10, we can make alot of noise. Simple things like the hugs of my grandchildren, and children. The prayers said at meal times especially when they are said by one of the grandchildren. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and the conversation that follows.
Simple things like camp fires and bicycle rides and memories of the latest beach day. Simple things like leaves flying in the wind and geese flying in v's. Simple things like seeing the kids running and playing, shouting and laughing. Simple things like pumpkins on doorsteps and autumn wreaths on doors. Simple things like smelling burning stubble and seeing dust from combines as they work in the fields. Simple things like car rides, good conversation, quiet reflection and journal entries , hearing good sermons and fellowshipping with friends.
Simple things like sunshine on my shoulders!
God has been speaking about some things to me during these last few months. He has been talking to me about his fullness ... and what that means for me. One of my favorite verses is where Jesus says that he has come to bring life to the full ...
Often I have sat and thought of that - Jesus - I want to experience the full life you have for me... every day - every season. To experience not only the love of the Father, and the gift of everlasting life Jesus gave me, and the presence of the Holy Spirit - but to experience all of that TO THE FULL!. And in my thinking and asking and listening, I believe he has said over and over that it is not about any striving on my part, but of just living with Him as the centre of my life, from which all aspects flow. I believe that it is not complicated - but it is actually quite simple. To love him with all my heart and soul, mind and strength and to love my neighbour as myself. I believe it is about enjoying the simple things in life that He gives to me, and to live with a grateful heart. In this season of Autumn, we can be tempted to be so worried about the cold bleak season that will come after autumn, and to miss the beauty, the wonder and the fullness that He blesses us with in this season of our lives.
I for one, do not want to miss out on any moment of this time. Because the thing is, we will never get this time back. I want to live in recognition of the ONE who gives me life and breath and eternal life when this life is done here on earth. I want to savour this time ... to not hurry to the next thing but to just b-r-e-a-t-h-e in and thank God for the simple things in life He has given me as gifts for each day.
I am so thankful!
Enjoy life my friends! Savour it!
With a thankful heart to my LORD and Saviour Jesus,
j
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