Monday, September 14

Heart full to overflowing - complete with tears



Yesterday my heart tank was full and overflowing.  It was Sunday and we had been looking forward to the day for a long time.  It was no longer about zoom church, or online video church, or live feed church but it was about gathering in a space together as the church used to do pre-Covid-19.  One thing for us, and a pretty major thing at that, was that we decided to leave the church we were at as members, and join the body of believers at Kilcona Park Alliance Church.  Lest it sounded easy - it wasn't.  Let me back up a bit.... well maybe more than a bit.... stick with me ...

I grew up at Arlington Street Gospel Chapel and at the age of 20 I left to join Alvin at his church.  He grew up at North Kildonan Mennonite Brethren Church and then when it birthed McIvor M.B. Church, he and his family moved there.  He got baptized there at 18, and at 20 - we got married.  I joined him there and we were there for 32 years.  NEVER HAD I EVER THOUGHT WE WOULD LEAVE A CHURCH!  Leaving "A Street" was for marriage reasons.  But I did not think we would ever leave a church again. We got involved, raised our kids while still being involved, and the last 7.5 years I was a pastor there.  I did not think there was any good reason to miss a Sunday! That was how I was raised!  SO when we left McIvor, it was hard.  We left the "family" that helped us grow in our faith.  We loved the body there and it was one of the hardest decisions we have had to make.  

We did not "church shop" as many do.  (that is no secret to pastors either, even if you think you come and just sit in the back) Instead we decided to just settle into life at Eastview Community Church.  It was just a mile closer and it was still within the M.B. Conference of churches ... and remember Alvin is a dyed in the wool M.B'er.    Once again, we became members, and got involved pretty much right away.  

Our children and grandchildren had all settled at Kilcona Park Alliance Church and we would go whenever there was an event that our grandchildren or children were a part of,  or a Men's event, or when Josh preached, or children were dedicated, or the Worship Arts Cafe or the Christmas Production.  We loved going.  We also recognized people from McIvor who had transitioned there.  Going to Kilcona felt warm and inviting and our hearts always were filled when we went.  

A couple of years ago however, something changed in my heart.  It was a simple comment made by Josh during a time when we were all at the lake and the kids (who are all also involved in Kids Ministry) were talking about the need for people to help out, and Ash had said that Maverick had no teacher.  Josh said, "Well you know Mom and Dad, if you came to Kilcona you could help teach."  My heart knew that this was where I wanted to be.  I had stepped off of Leadership Board and also Women's ministry and was feeling very detached.  Ministry life had gotten full and I was not able to be in church much on Sundays.  To be honest, I was feeling very alone and lonely at times.  When Josh said that, I knew that I would transition in a heart beat - but I also believed that God would have to make it very clear to Alvin as I did not want him to go just because of me!  So, I prayed about it.  It was hard to be patient as I just felt it was so clear we needed to leave ECC for KPA ... and when Alvin reengaged into a committee a year ago, I will admit I felt like my heart sank a little.  But I still remained relatively silent about it all.  I did have a couple friends who were praying about it tho.  Within months, Alvin knew that he needed to finish up his duties there, and resign from the committee which he did in May.  We then let our pastors at ECC know in June that we were leaving, and then we also connected with the pastor at KPA to let him know we were coming.  God had moved Alvin's heart, and we both knew it was the right time.  I also want to say that we had done some processing with our kids as well, and had their blessing to join them.  (For us, this was a very necessary thing as we did not want to impose ourselves on our kids in their place of worship no matter how much we wanted to, we needed their blessing to do so) 

Let me just say this for the record.  Moving churches within COVID-19 times - is a weird and hard thing to do.  How do you get to know people?  Fortunately we already knew some besides our kids. I have enjoyed a couple coffee times with different women already.  This did my heart well.  Last week we had coffee with Pastor Bruce and Nancy and they welcomed us to Kilcona from a pastoral point of view.  We all know that changing churches is hard on many levels and no church wants to "steal sheep" as the saying goes.  But to change because you want to worship with your family, and to witness your children and children's children be nurtured in the faith as well - that is priceless and a good reason for changing churches I think.  For my husband, he is chomping at the bit to just DO something .... even stacking chairs at church brings joy as he is a hands on - get to meet you type of guy.   ANYHOW ... the preliminaries were all done - and we have even taken in our first "church meeting" and one "watch" meeting on a Sunday morning.  But we were waiting for the kick-off.   

Yesterday we took our lawn chairs and headed to the parking lot of Kilcona Park Alliance Church.  There were two options - you could sit in your car and tune into the churches station on the radio and watch and listen in the warmth of your vehicle ... OR you could bring your lawn chairs and sit social distanced at the front.  So that was what we and our kids and grandkids opted for.  It was chilly - windy but oh so good.  But I was glad we brought blankets.

The worship was great.  The fellowship conversations were great.  And sitting with our kids within our wingspan was wonderful.  My heart was full.  And then the song at the end made it overflow, and as it overflowed, so did my tears...   

The night before,  the church had hosted their Drive-In Movie:  TOY STORY 4 and Pastor Bruce's sermon was called GOD STORY and he used some similarities from the movie.  It was a great sermon! He talked about 3 things that he thinks God may be wanting to teach us through this strange time of Covid ... 1) that discipling of children starts at home 2) that God knows the plans He has for us and 3) that he believed God was using Covid-19 to "shake up the Church and remind us that Church is something we ARE vs something we go to.  And that it is not about watching but of PARTICIPATING with others and to BE THE CHURCH.   WE ARE THE "CHURCH" ...      YES!!  My heart resonated with his words to this flock in the parking lot!!

And then in closing,  Chris the Worship Pastor brought 19 monarchs that were all ready be released, and she shared how these ones will fly south and Monarch butterflies may take as many as 4-5 generations before they return back to where they were born here in Manitoba.  She talked about the beauty of generations - and it was so cool for her family, there were 4 generations in the same church.  There for Alvin and I, were three generations. (all of our parents are in heaven)  She however also talked about perhaps someone was there who were first generation, but the impact of each of us on the generations to come ... just like the Monarch visual.  

Chris then talked about the song they were going to sing in closing .  The song "THE BLESSING" by Kari Jobe and her husband Codie Carnes came out pre Covid and was a song that brought goose bumps the first time I heard it (and since). It is based on the priestly blessing from Numbers 6: 24-26  - the same blessing I often spoke over our congregation if I was wrapping up a Sunday service at McIvor, or the one I often prayed over our life group, or our women's bible study, and almost always without fail would choke up as I spoke it over the family of God.... 

“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
25 
the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
26 
the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.


Chris shared how people asked her "Are you going to sing this one with us at Kilcona?" and she knew one day she would, but only when it was time.  And she said that it was that time to do it.   So they sang and played and people joined in.  

With one arm raised towards Josh and Leah sitting just in front of us,  (with the sun shining from behind, I noticed that my arm extended brought the shadow right to them - a visual for me) and the other arm around my daughter and stretched towards the rest of the family ... and with tears rolling down my cheeks - I sang and felt like it WAS the right time .. for changing churches, for this beautiful song to be sung and to be able to sing it while sitting in our little cohort of 10, worshipping together at the same church.  

My heart was overflowing and ran out and over in the form of tears.  It was such a very very tangible God-moment for me, and Alvin both.  We talked about it as we drove in the car - and knew that it was also a blessing on what we decided to do, and have done.  Our hearts are so full of thanks and praise to the ONE who is our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ!  HE has blessed us more than we can speak - and it is up to me as my kids mom and grandchildren's Granny to recall HIS faithfulness to my generations after me. We are so very thankful!  

to encourage you...

Perhaps you are a first generation Christ-follower - praise God!  He has a plan for you!   Perhaps you are not married, or you are but don't have children - YOU still have an impact on young and old around you! Not having children - doesn't make you exempt!  Perhaps you are a mom or dad with a wayward child - don't give up!  Your prayers for your child are never wasted!  Neither are your tears <3

This is my post, and my story HOWEVER God is writing YOUR story ... stop, reflect, praise, thank and recall.  

He is not done with you yet friend!!

love,

j

PS Here is the song - hope you can listen 

https://youtu.be/Zp6aygmvzM4


1 comment:

Val Lewis said...

That was beautiful Joy! Thanks for sharing! Enjoy your new Church & being able to worship God with your family! 💕