Prepare

 Prepare

The sun is shining in through the window, and the sky is an endless blue

Almost all the leaves have blown off the trees

Leaving them a forest of grey sticks, with nothing to cover their nakedness but sunlight

The pine trees slightly moving with the breath of wind

They look regal

Standing straight and tall

Overseeing the area, like soldiers

Overnight frost has melted

Birds flitter here and there enjoying the seed put out for them

It is still except for the sounds of creation

The whispers as it gets ready, hunkering down

For what’s ahead

Snow will fall as much as we don’t want it to

Ice will cover roads

And people will once again complain about road conditions

As if they have never lived in this place before

Its just what we do when the season of winter approaches

Yet we know that the snow covers the land 

Looking like a blanket of diamonds

And the sun shines ever so brightly off the radiance of the land

And it gets cold

Real cold

But we are used to that to

Or as used to it as one can be having grown up in this place

This sunshiny blue skied day brings joy to my heart

I am happy

I am healthy and 

I am inside a home that love built

And my soul is well

This does not look like the fall we had expected 

The sign at the endif our driveway is an indicator that the house is still for sale

And we are still here, in our home

It is quiet here

A daily reminder that ministry has concluded.

We obeyed God on that, on the word that “it was time”

And although no everyone understands

We know, full well, that God’s timing is always right.

It is not always fully revealed however it is always the perfect time

And we feel that in the depths of our being

I loved ministry

Loved hosting people

Did not always love the steady cooking but making the meal an experience for people

Complete with candles and placemats

Was a joy that was allowed to me during the almost 13 years of ministry

And to serve was a gift God allowed, and used I believe, to bless people

Especially young moms who very seldom were able to sit and eat breakfast, let alone a hot one,

And also a breakfast that she did not have to make!

To be honest, I love that too.

Being served something that I was not in charge of cooking

I loved ministry

Being invited to sit at a table with people

And hear their hearts

To speak into their lives when given the opportunity

And to be able to pray with and for and over them

I have not cried over this decision

In fact from the depts of my being has been something that God has resurrected in me

My kids have noticed especially

But I have too.

A feeling of aliveness

Of Feeling released to live fully

A feeling of being able to enjoy my home for a while before it sells

And some people have noticed something in me - a “lightness”

A difference in my countenance

When I feel something that others see, my heart sings

This has become a time that is wide open 

And a time to bring in rhythms that breath a combination of some discipline into my life

Or maybe it is order

It does not feel like work, but it feels instead like new breath

The candle I light at the beginning of the morning

Acknowledging the presence of LOVE

Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit

With me always

But acknowledged out loud in this way

A time to sit with LOVE 

The soft gong signifies the start and the end of my time in sweet mediation

LOVE knows that my thoughts are sometimes hard to keep silent

It is a discipline of stillness, and sitting with Holy Presence

Will I ever get to the place that I am actually just being instead of making the list in my head

Oh LOVE I am so glad you know my heart and soul and love me all the same

And then time to read the WORD. 

Taste and see.  

Read and Listen

Write the ahas on the daily passage

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

I do not think I will ever tire of the feel of the thin pages in my Bible

Or the sound of them turning

Like music to these ears

I sit close to the window

So that the brightness of the day shines into the room

And I can watch the birds in the yard, and the swaying of the trees

And hearing the wind chimes singing the melody that also bring such soothing to my heart

Creation calls and I see LOVE in creation

The creation that LOVE made and creation that we get the chance to live in

As I sit I am sometimes just in a place of being with the Almighty

Pen is still but my ears are perked waiting to hear anything that the Almighty

speaks

I love the times of being

Whether it is in the silence of my home

Or in the quietness of a church called into prayer

Or in a morning meditation time led by a good friend

Or in my spiritual direction time with a trusted Director

The encouragement to sit and be still

And to listen

Let’s listen to see what LOVE has to say to you this morning

And within the first minute of the stillness I hear

PREPARE 

And then the words do not fear

Hmmm 

Prepare ?  Prepare for what?  

The words telling me not to fear feel like an encouragement

These words stood alone for couple weeks while I continued to go into my morning rhythm of centring prayer

Using the word LOVE gave me to mediate on

PREPARE

Breathing in

Breathing out

Prepare

Do not fear

And after about two weeks of sitting with this word in my time with LOVE I also heard

Prepare

To be excited

Okay … are those my thoughts?

I am reminded of the words from Jesus “my sheep listen to my voice and I know them, and they follow me

Yep, that is me

Following LOVE on this adventure

This unknown time to prepare

This time of being in a threshold that is taking on bigger dimensions all the time

But there is no fear

No impatience

No angst

Just a quiet full surrender and anticipation of whatever comes

Whenever

I’m trusting that.

Yes, today looks nothing like I thought it would look like

When we began talking with people back in April

It looks nothing like we thought it would look like when we listed the house for sale

Our lives felt like a perpetual period of keeping the house “showing worthy” 

And not messing up things, so there was little to clean up if a showing happened.

It looks nothing like we expected but at the same time the sun is still shining

Sky is still blue

YES leaves have gone from brilliant green to colourful autumn and to now the bare grey sticks

And yep, all is hunkering down for a long winter’s nap

All is well with the world ….

And all is well with my soul

I will sit in this threshold time

A time to prepare 

Only LOVE knows what that is about

This season of preparation, of rest.

A season of reflection while everything sleeps, awaiting the time of new growth in spring.

And I am content in waiting to see whenever it happens.

Because this is not the full story, there is more to come

Much more

I feel it in the depths of my being. 

Rumi was quoted as saying "don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.”

I think that if I am quiet enough to hear, and still enough to feel

I can hear those roots having a party!

Hey Dad ~ its been 28 years

 

Hey Dad

I know that I am writing this for my own sake, as seriously, you are in heaven living your best life, but you know Dad, I just wanted to say a few things on this day, which in about ah hour will mark 28 full years since your heart exploded and you went to be with Jesus.

I miss you.  You know Dad, in these past few years, I have really worked hard on many things to do with my life, my heart and soul.  And also going into the growing up years, those lovely teen years, and the years that I was an adult, and you really let me be that adult, and encouraged me in my journey.

When I was little, you were the one that holds the warm fuzzy memories for me. Those times when I felt so loved and cherished, and held.  I realize that the way you loved me, your baby girl (well for a few years anyhow I held that rank lol) but as I was saying I realize that the way you loved me is what helped me to see the love of my Heavenly Father.  Thanks for that Dad.  Some of the women I know have trouble with their fathers, and can not see the Father as a male version, but you loved me so well as my Dad, that you helped me to grow in my walk with Jesus.

I knew I screwed up a couple times - like when I denied smoking, but then you guys found out.  Or when I snuck out to go somewhere that I had not asked permission on ... you know, those teen age things.  But you still treated me with respect as your daughter.  You had such amazing taste, and I will not ever forget the beautiful red midi winter coat you bought me, with dark fur on the collar.  Or the palazzo pants, or the whole Easter outfit from shoes to hat - gloves to purse, dress and coat. You had such a sense of style and you purchased so many beautiful things for Mum too ... I guess I loved being on of your girls.

You showed me how a man CAN apologize and say he is sorry.  You showed me how you lavished love o Mum for no reason, buying her flowers because you loved her.  You took us out for birthdays and celebrations and we aate Chinese food at Shanghai as you conversed with the Chinese waiters that you had come to know.

There are many things, and most I have tucked away in my memories.

But the things that you taught me about following Jesus, loving the LORD with all your heart, serving the LORD, loving others.....   I am glad that you taught me those things.  I think I likely took that for granted for a lot of my life.  Thank you for showing me how Jesus takes a person and changes them.  

Dad, I won't forget that day.  November 2nd.  Three months from when you had gotten married.  And in that time I felt like I got my dad back again.  For a while there, I felt like you were someone else.  I realized very quickly that second kick at love makes men (and perhaps women) kind of crazy.  I was really glad for you Dad, that your life was going to be with someone again. I gave you my blessing because seriously why would I want to withhold it.  You missed Mum so much.  You had been married for almost 50 years (less than a month short) and then she passed away.  So I really was glad that you had found love again.  And that was all that counted I guess.  And during those three months since your wedding, you and I had spent some time chatting.  I love that we were always able to do that.  I appreciated knowing that you were my encourager, and also you prayed for me.  The last time we had spent time together, I was in a bit of a hard space and you knew it.  I got in the car to drive you back to Winnipeg from Anola and before we left the garage you said, "Honey how are you doing..."    Dad, you always knew where I was at.

That is why that night, we were literally blown out of the water.  I had come to visit you in the afternoon.  Ash and I.  And then things began to happen ...  And a couple hours later we called the ambulance and you headed to the hospital.  You had no clue that when you left the house, it was the last time you would see it again.  Within a couple hours ...  you were gone.

28 years.  And oh my goodness Dad, how I miss you.  I miss hearing your voice on the phone, or your singing.  I miss seeing your beautiful blue eyes that you passed on to us.  And I also miss knowing that that day, I had no one praying for me every night as you went to sleep.  I miss not being able to talk to you about hearing God's call to ministry and all that those years held.  I miss our car rides together.  You always let me drive which I was glad about because Dad, sometimes your driving scared me lol.

We all miss you.  So very much.  76 was too young.  But obviously God knew it was time.

So Dad, thank you for being my dad.  For being the one who just taught me so much.  

I loved you then and love you still now.  Till Heaven Dad ... till heaven.

with love,

Joy

Closing up ~ always bittersweet.

 

One more time we drove out to the place where memories have been made over the years

Many many memories since Dad K helped Alvin build this place we call our summer cottage.  The place that love built on Hampton Haven.  

Memories, so many

Some of them I wont lie, 

Some memories have been very hard

And seem to be tied up in a bundle that is stored away in my heart.

I know they are there

I know the pain that was contained within those memories

I know the faithfulness of God through those times

Memories like that will never leave this heart of mine.

But this weekend as we drove up and parked, knowing this was the last weekend of the season

I knew more memories had been stored away in my heart

Which makes closing up easier to do.

The colors of the leaves on the trees were brilliant on the dreariness of the days

Yellow leaves popped with color up against the darkest tones of the evergreens

And in between were some interspersed pockets of orange and red and rust

As if the Creator had taken a brush and painted the strokes of brilliant colors

This is fall

And the weather was rainy, with some sunshine

And wind that would have taken Dorothy and Toto to Kansas!

The lake always takes on a look that is more repelling than appealing

And the sounds of kids playing and motorboats racing across the water are also sounds that are now non existent in this dreary fall day

The cottage amidst the trees is waiting to welcome us

The sound of the pellets is a welcome sound

The floor is cold and I wonder why we didn’t make it more insulated

But soon the warmth has chased away the cold and we are able to take off sweaters

While we enjoy a nice hot coffee

It is so quiet here

As if everyone has gone somewhere else for this last weekend of R&R

Before the wind blows all the leaves off the trees and the clouds drop the first flakes of snow

But this weekend we don’t want to think about that

Instead about our kids coming, and the sound of the grandkids laughter and talking,

And the smell of turkey and ham cooking

And the feeling of abounding gratitude on this thanksgiving weekend

Where this momma and granny’s heart is full as I have my tribe around me

Poppa and I soaking in the last conversations and laughter and antics in this place until May

It is a hard thing to see summer come to a close, and autumn running right behind it

Although sometimes the appearance of autumn feels more like the days of pre winter

And one doesn’t know whether to wear shorts or long pants,

Ball caps or woollen toques

And we know that we should take an inventory of the things in our closet

BEFORE the morning that we need it

But somehow it doesn’t seem to be necessary today.

The closing of the cabin

Taking home all the groceries that were brought out but not used

And a reminder of the things to bring next May

(We have to remember the oven cleaner!!)

Winterizing takes some time

To blow out lines and put antifreeze into things that need to be kept from freezing

But my good man will do that this week, as the power was out for our last night/day at the cottage

A good excuse to do it later when Hydro has come through with restoration of power

(Mental note as I write we are 18 hours post outage and still waiting to hear it is on - but it doesn’t really affect us any tonight)

We started a tradition, encouraged by my daughter (in law) Leah who used to do something like this when she was young.

We write in a notebook, each child telling her what to write, looking forward to the year ahead until we are back and into summer.

But before she writes, she reads what was written this time last year,  and there is some nodding of heads, some laughing, and maybe some looks of deep thought.

It is a measurement of time.

This has been a good year. 

A combination of cottage and camp

Of laughter

And resting

Of working and playing

It has been many suppers together, and some good cottage breakfasts 

We have talked, laughed, debated, and prayed.

Oh, and Poppa has measured the kids at the beginning of summer and toward the end

The pole in our living room is another way of measuring time.

It is the way it goes here at 5 Hampton Haven

The opening and closing of the cottage is signalled by the turning on and turning off of the community water (which we noted must have its own power system as that did not go off with everything else this morning!)

It is the way the calendar ticks by, 

Day to day, week to week, month to month

Crossing over into a new year

And then as the snow melts and the leaves come out on the trees surrounding this cottage that love built, 

We will come back out

And no doubt we will say, it feels like we just left.  Can’t believe how time flies.

Just can’t believe it!!

Till 2026 May long, (Lord Willing)

J