Monday, November 28

just something about the past three weeks...

I have been off work for just over 3 weeks now, and return tomorrow to my "donor service rep" job with CBS.  (which by the way - if you have ever THOUGHT of donating blood ~ now is the time!!)
I am feeling like I am starting a new job even though I have only been off work with my hurt leg! I love that I love my job!  I love that I actually miss my co-workers.  I do not take that for granted.

SO that being said, as I look back on the past few weeks, they have been a "gift" in a few ways ~ NOT THAT I WOULD CONSIDER THE FALL A GIFT ~ but the time to just sit and to just "be" was very timely.  Timely but hard.  It IS hard to sit and get other people to bring you stuff (especially the first week and a half when I was on crutches)  Hard to walk with crutches and carry my cup of coffee.  It forced me to become quite inventive!

Before my fall, I had poured out some of my thoughts to God one day - thoughts about struggling with lack of discipline in my life in all areas.  In fact my journal entry from October 28th said this:
"Is my lack of journal entries an indication of my heart?  O Lord ~
I think my struggle is a lack of discipline in my life.  In all areas.  I want to do, what I do not do.  I am so pitiful at times.  So pitiful!"

That morning as I wrote in my journal, I was waiting for something to be completed, so I had taken my journal because I knew I would have time.  I wrote some more as I sat waiting.
"It is a time to sit and wait.  Seems I sit and wait when I have to and yet Lord, I often don;t choose to willingly sit and wait!"

Ohhhh....  little did I know that less than 5 days later, as a result of my fall down the steps, I would be forced to "sit and wait" and make the best of it!  But God knew that.  And in retrospect, I am thankful for the time as I sat, waited, listened, journaled, read, had my QT with the Lord, worked on my online course in Soul Talk, and was just able to "be" which I totally understood even before this forced waiting time!

It was also a time for me to become very appreciative of all that my husband (my sweet man) and my kids do for me.  And all that they mean to me.

But as I look back, I realize that as I become more mobile and as I become more involved in being able to work again, and as I become involved in the fullness that leads up to Christmas, I really do not want to lose what I learned during the time off.  How easily I fall back into old patterns, into old routines and into old undisciplined life style.

I want to live fully in all ways but do not want to become consumed by being BUSY.  Man, I hate that word!  It is just NOT a good word!  So I will become more intentional about my time and the best things to put into it.  I don't want to miss a minute of the amazing moments that each day holds!
I want to develop some more discipline ... some routine (although even the word routine sounds kind of boring!)  I want to embrace life and live a life of thankfulness. I want to make sure that I DO put "first things first!!"THESE are my thoughts today!  O Lord, please help me because I can't do it alone!

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