A few years ago, I had been asking the LORD to tell me "LORD what do you call me?" You see I believe He has a name for all of us. I don't mean our given earthly name, but the name, perhaps a pet name or nicknme for us. I had a hunch that He had one for me and so I asked Jim. And He did not and soon I began to hear it, and to see it. "I call you BELOVED" and I knew without a doubt that He had spoken. That was the year that my son and I went and got a tattoo at the same time. I got my name written on my forearm - as a reminder. Because ... I so easily forget.
One of the singer/songwriters that I love to listen to is husband and wife team - Jonathan and Melissa Helser. They have just put out some new songs, and they are speaking deeply into my soul. When I listen, or when I watch via youTube, I am drawn into worship. Actually I wish I was there in their great room worshipping.
This is the song that has currently been playing and speaking deeply to me. It is called "I am Your Beloved"
There have been times when I have chosen to sit with the LORD (highly recommend doing this, imagining you are cozied right up on the Father's lap, your head against His chest, listening to and feeling the beat of His heart for you!). When I spend time being with Him, i experience the rpesence of the holy spirit with me.
It is in these times of being with the LORD, that I know who I am and how much He loves me. It is in these times I experience the love of the Father, the grace that Jesus covered me with when He died for my sin and rose again, and the presence of the Holy Spirit who is in me, around me, and so close I feel His nearness. And I worship. The warmth that runs through my body - it is undeniable. I feel it, not once, but over and over again, like an electric current that can only explained by the presence of the Spirit rushing in and over and through me. "Oh how we love you, oh how we love you" are the words spoken by Melissa. And she goes on to say "You're the one always running down my road. You're the one always running down my road. Covering me with affection and clothing me in mercy. We can not outrun your love. We can not outrun your love. Your the one thats always running. Your always running. You're always running. Covering me in mercy. We drink it in. Its not one time, or two times, or a hundred times. its thousands and thousands and athousads and thousands of time. We drink it in. We let the weight of your mercey cover us from head to toe. We let the weight of your mercy wash away the shame and the filth. You cover us with affection and surround us with your mercy and we drink it in."
As these days of January go from one to another, God has been doing a work in me. A work of transformation. A work that is hard to describe but it is my prayer that people will one day see how God has transformed this gal. And, I believe He will be tranfsfroming me from now until I am with Him. We "never arrive" this side of Heaven, but we can let Him do the healing process, the refining process, the restoring and the transforming. I have had, and enjoyed the time being able to drink it in!!
These days are pretty quiet. I believe that is a gift of Covid. The gift of stillness and the gift of rest. Years ago He told me (while at the Come Away retreat at Mark Centre in November 2018) that He was going to bring me back to being a Mary. I knew what He meant as life in ministry had gotten full, and it was full of Martha activity. Of serving which involved cleaning, cooking, serving, and then repeat. In the fullness of ministry, I had stepped out to spend time in a silent women's retreat, and this is one thing He said. And then I kind of forgot about it - till Covid hit.
Brining me back to being a Mary. I blieve this is who I am at heart, but also see how He gave me the strength to be a Martha. I remember those days in the early days of ministry, when the pain from fibromyalgia was so bad as I vacuumed and cleaned and cried out in yells to God - "what are you doing with me? I can't do this." But then I did. AND He gave me joy in the serving. Seriously !! Only. God.
So coming back to being a Mary. Comeing back to my heart. Coming back to sitting with Jesus. To weeping as I gazed upon His beauty. To cry out and know He had heard my cries. Oh, I love how He does what He has done in me!!
So those are my thoughts on this day in January. Oh God I give you the glory! Great things you are doing in this gal! And oh how I love YOU!
Sitting with Jesus today,
j
PS Here is the link to the song on youTube: take a listen
OFFICIAL LYRICS
[Verse 1]
I’ve Heard the Accusation
And I’ve Heard the Propaganda
I’ve Heard the Lies
They Whisper to my Soul
That I have been Forsaken
And I’ll Always be Forgotten
No Matter what I DO
It’s not Enough
Then I Heard a Voice
As it Opened Up the Heavens
Reminding Me
Of Whom I’ve Always been
[Chorus]
I am Your Beloved
You have Bought Me
With Your Blood
And on Your Hand
You’ve Written out me Name
I am Your Beloved
One the Father Loves
Mercy has Defeated all my Shame
[Verse 2]
There’s no Accusation
Or any Condemnation
When I Look into my Fathers Eyes
They don’t See my sin
They only See Redemption
This is how my Heart
Has been Defined
I can Hear a Voice
That is Louder than the Thunder
Reminding me
Of Whom I’ve Always been
[Chorus]
I am Your Beloved
You have Bought Me
With Your Blood
And on Your Hand
You’ve Written out me Name
I am Your Beloved
One the Father Loves
Mercy has Defeated all my Shame
[Bridge]
The One who knows me Best
Is the One who Loves me Most
There is Nothing I have Done
That could Change
The Father’s Love
The One who knows me Best
Is the One who Loves me Most
There is Nothing I have Done
That could Change
The Father’s Love
The One who knows me Best
Is the One who Loves me Most
There is Nothing I have Done
That could Change
The Father’s Love
[Chorus]
I am Your Beloved
You have Bought Me
With Your Blood
And on Your Hand
You’ve Written out me Name
I am Your Beloved
One the Father Loves
Mercy has Defeated all my Shame
I am Your Beloved
You have Bought Me
With Your Blood
And on Your Hand
You’ve Written out me Name
I am Your Beloved
One the Father Loves
Mercy has Defeated all my Shame
[Spontaneous]
I can Hear the Feet
Of the Father Running
I can Hear the Feet
Of the Father Running
OH, I can Hear the Feet
Of the Father Running
OH, I can Hear the Feet
Of the Father Running
It’s Like a Stampede of Grace
Coming my Way
Mercy I Never Earned
Grace I Never Deserved
Coming to bring me Home Again
I can Hear the Father
Calling my Name
I can See the Face of my Father
I can Hear the Voice of my Father
Calling out my Name
I can Hear the Father
I can Hear the Heart
I can Hear the Heart of my Father
Here He Comes
Here He Comes
Here He Comes
[Bridge]
OH, the One who knows me Best
Is the One who Loves me Most
There is Nothing I have Done
That could Change
The Father’s Love
OH, the One who knows me Best
Is the One who Loves me Most
There is Nothing I have Done
That could Change
The Father’s Love
LYRICS I AM YOUR BELOVED BY JONATHAN & MELISSA HELSER
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