Wednesday, October 28
Today - was a full day. In view of most of my days - today was full. It began with an early rise - sitting with Alvin as he ate his Rice Krispies and chocolate milk (we ran out of white milk!).... a cup of coffee, nice hot bath, checking emails, quiet time with the Lord and a quick clean up and I was out the door by ten thirty.
And here I sit - almost twelve hours later - and wondering where the time went.
The day included spending time with my daughter Ash around lunch, and later with Ash and Michael at the mall (had to finally make some changes to cell phone plans). The rest of my day included a trip to the Unemployment Office (not sure if I qualify or not since I quit) ~ and my last trip to the chiropractor (on my year long plan) and then, ahhhhhh, a trip to see Trudy for a massage!! One hour never feels long enough.
I have to tell you about my friend Trudy, who actually teaches massage. I know that when I go for a massage it is OKAY not to talk - and to just rest or sleep. But that is never the way with Trudy and I - we talk, and it is all good. And, sometimes I cry (and she has too) and sometimes I know that she is praying over me, even though she is not praying out loud.... I just sense it.
It is pretty awesome having her for my massage therapist - for a number of reasons. We are friends. We also did ministry together. She understands pain, and loss (of a different kind, but none the less loss) and she gets "ministry" and I also think that she has heard my hurts, and has validated them. And while all this happens, she uses her hands to soothe aches and pains in my physical being, and works out knots in muscles, and "lays on hands" as she prays. God uses Trudy in an amazing way, and I am very thankful for her.
Today when I came in, and laid down on the bed - and she asked what I needed worked on today? I told her that I had fallen in the ditch on the weekend, so I had a bit of a sore upper back/neck. This followed through into talking about my week (past two)and how I have struggled with purpose and self-worth. And then that followed into talking about how I felt about old work-related things. And on and on it went until it was time to turn over - and to let her work on the front of my neck and head. It was especially at this point - with her hands resting on either side of my face, that she was quiet, and I sensed there was some praying happening.
I don't think I am unique. I think this is just Trudy and the fact that she is a Christian and she is a massage therapist, and together God uses her hands and her prayers as agents for healing. How cool is that!
I left Trudy's with a strong sense of well-being. We talked about self-worth and how in the hard times, or in the times when God seems silent - that we often struggle more.... or at least I do!! Trudy did not give me the pat "christian" answers.... you know which ones they are? (usually the ones that say Jesus won't give us more than we can bear??) Really, I am 51 and I have trusted my Lord since giving my life to him at the age of 8. I could recite many of the scriptures that we use when we want to help someone and don't know what to say...
(I know they are well-meaning, but sometimes, it is better just to hug!!)
I shared with Trudy that I know all of the stuff in my head, but my heart is struggling with some of it again during this period of "waiting". If someone could tell my heart? Trudy and I talked about walking through the dry times and knowing God is with us. Yes - I do know that alot.
Yesterday - my other good friend Meggie reminded me of God in our lives - and how even though it is hard to praise God in the hard, dry, dark times - it seems that in these times, the praises lift us!! She said she uses some Gaither music - that it usually causes praise to lift from her heart! So, yep, I pulled out the Ernie Hause and Signature Sound dvd... and praised.
I am so thankful for friends who help me see the goodness of God - even in the times when He is there with me, but silent....
I am very aware that He is making me wait - and you know, I thought I knew about waiting, and about resting in Him, and about being still and knowing HE IS GOD...
but apparently I am still learning. God is using Trudy's healing hands, her prayers, and my family and friends like Meggie - over the past two days to just say again...."Joy, I am here.... trust me Joy, just trust me!"
O Lord, please give me the courage - the strength - the patience - to rest in you, to wait for you to move ahead of me - and cause my faith to grow, my patience to increase and more than anything - I want to fall more head over heels in love with you Jesus, and learn how to dance with the Trinity!!
today's ramblings written by the relaxed mouse herself!
posted on Wednesday, October 28th
at 9:56 PM