random thoughts on the last monday in february

the sound of my husband getting out of bed

morning is still young

the sun is just trying to rise

kind of like myself

not an early riser ~ but wishing i was

the weather channel checked

he slips back into bed

for one last snuggle

giving me five more minutes until my feet hit the cold floor

will i ever like winter?

the sound of the coffee running down into the pot

and the smell of it - hitting my nostrils

ummmm coffee

rich, bold, one of the best things about morning

the next half hour is full of activity

getting dressed

giving my man a quick haircut

getting some of his stuff together for his night shift tonight

and eating miniwheats together

the neighbor's dog (Copper) barks in the yard next door

soon he won't come to say hi to me when i am out

i will miss his friendly dog-face :)

the sound of his truck leaving the driveway

a driveway that we will not be parking in for much longer

a wave of sadness fills me

another transition

another chapter in our nomadic life these days

and well ~ it is all okay

really

dishes on the table waiting to be cleared

dishes by the sink waiting to be washed

bible study lessons waiting to be finished for tonight's study

and packing

i need to begin packing up our stuff

not that there is much

but whatever we brought to this loft will need to be packed up

i don't think i will ever enjoy packing

but it has to be done

the day calls

while still early, there is a list of things to be done

while i would love to procrastinate

that does not solve anything

gotta just get going

think my bible study will be first

seems like my coffee would go well with that

and who knows ... i may just get a little visit in with my grandson and kids.

that in itself would make my day

oh, and before bible study tonight is supper together with my other kids

this day - with all its stuff

is going to be mighty fine

Mighty FINE!!

thank you Lord for this day - for the sun that shines - for the ability to experience life around me - knowing that you have it all under your control.  I love you and thank you for my life - for my family - for all that today will hold.  Amen.

Hands

For some reason today - I have been thinking about "Hands" ... guess it started as I was thinking about work YESTERDAY and about my shift TOMORROW.  Both shifts will involve some time doing "What's Your Type" where we go into a place (or yesterday a class of kids came into the centre) and we spend time blood-typing them.  A procedure that takes less than 3 minutes per person, and they walk away with a band aid on their finger and a card that tells them their blood type.  It is actually very interesting.

Anyhow - yesterday I typed 14 kids that came in - and this morning I was thinking back to that.  When people are nervous they always seem to have cold hands.  I know when I used to get up to preach - my hands would be cold.  However what I have found is that when their hands are cold - it is harder to get that drop of blood!!  As each kid came and sat down on the other side facing me - they would give me their hand, and I would take it in mine.  The odd cold one, I would put both of my hands around theirs and say - "Ohhhh you've got some cold hands there - gotta warm them up a little" and at least get a smile out of them.  (it is amazing how nervous these kids can get over getting their finger pricked.)

Today as I was thinking of hands - I realized that I had a massage booked with my friend Trudy. (who teaches Massage at the college).  When I went today - God used her hands to bring renewal to me.  As usual with her - we talk.  It was good - I haven't had the chance to be there in a while - and it is hard to get an appointment.  So we had some catching up to do!  I believe that God uses Trudy's hands through which to relay HIS healing touch.  I know that sometimes she just lays her hands on me - and prays.  I have that sense... I love that we can spend the time together, and I can talk/she can talk/and it is a life-giving hour in many many ways!  Her hands are healing hands.

I sometimes get a foot massage from my husband.  Now - that man has working hands.  Sometimes people look at them, and I am sure they are wondering if he EVER washes his hands!!  They have "work" ground into them... and they have a nicks and scratches.  Actually, they only time they come perfectly clean is when we go away on holidays and he spends time in a pool!! But Alvin's hands - they are strong, strong hands... hands that are kind, loving, extra hard working, going the extra mile. 

I look at my hands, and wonder when they got so old looking.  Slightly wrinkled, with some sunspots happening.  I think of what happens with my hands.  Today they put together another "traditional" birthday cake, they carried groceries, they washed dishes, they made meals, they opened mail, they rested during my massage, they carried coffee into Josh and Leah's house in the city, they picked up my little grandson, and well - they are typing this now.  I imagine they will get more wrinkled, and more sun-kissed, but they will continue to reach out to others as long as God gives me the strength.

I love taking pictures of my little grandson Everett's hands and toes.  He has been doing some "signing" and has lately gotten quite good at signing "more" with his hands.  He also uses his little pointer finger quite well to show us what exactly he wants!  His little hands are soft but already strong.  What will those little hands grow up to do?  Only God knows that, but it has been my prayer that God would grow Everett up to love HIM and to be a strong and mighty man of God! 

Ashley took a picture of Mom Klassen - of her hands.  They are strong, weathered, worn.  We always laughed and said that Mom would rub VICKS on you and exfoliate you at the same time - they were a little rough!  Mom's hands have become a symbol of dedication to a prayer life and walk with God.  I have been thinking alot lately about her.... I miss her.

I know that in my life - I will continue to serve God with all that I am - with all that I have - as long as he gives me breath and strength.  Who knows what these hands will do... as long as I am willing.
Sun-kissed and wrinkled - God can still use them!  Tomorrow as I type people again at work - there will be more hands...

O Lord - continue to use me - and make me a vessel of your love, your peace,  your grace!  Amen.

Memorizing Scripture with Beth Moore and friends...

So far this year - as Beth Moore posts her verses, she challenges us to also post ours on her blog.  I thought I would also post them on mine.

The verses that I have chosen thus far are the following:

January 1st - Jeremiah 29:11-14a (New International Version)
 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD,


January 15th - Isaiah 26:3 (New Living Translation)

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!


February 1st:  John 10:9-11 (New International Version 1984, ©1984)

 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.


February 15th:  I Corinthians 10:23 (New International Version)

 “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive.

Happy Birthday Photo Tribute to my Birthday Guy!!

 Sept. 2, 1978 - 20 years old

 Valentine's Day - 2010

 2010  birthday - celebrated at Pineridge Hollow

 Walking the land together at Anola - Winter, 2009

 

Gingerbread House Decorating with the kids - December 2008 

Celebrating Alvin's birthday with Everett - Feb 2010

Last "portrait" taken of family on the land in Anola.  Everett is there as a "baby bump"

Fall - 2009

Alvin and I at the lake... Thanksgiving, 2008

summer 2007

cutting wood - winter 2009

Josh, Mike and Alvin - the "boys"

Alvin and I when we went to the Mark Center in Abbotsford, BC

October 2008

Poppa and Ev

Alvin with his girls!

Alvin and I - Cuba 2007

Alvin and just another day of fighting fires and rescuing cats!!!    Picture from Winnipeg Free Press

Rather small picture - but this is Alvin and I at the age of 17 and very in love !!!    :)

My man - not just an amazing HUSBAND and love of my life, but also a cowboy...

                                                                          firefighter...                                                                    

world traveller!

Alvin at Niagara Falls Feb 2011

Friend to many...

A wonderful son...

Pretty darn cute baby!!  (looks like our Everett!)

He is a supporter of our vision

Builder!

Extremely hard worker....

Amazing Poppa!!

Never a dull moment when the camera is out!

Happy Birthday to my sweetheart - Alvin Gerhard Klassen

We have come a long way together ...

Looking forward to the rest of life together.

I love you.

-joy

Valentines and aMpUTaTioNs

What in the world is this title all about.  It seems that I have been lagging behind in the blogging and journalling departments!  Not that I don't want to write - it just seems that by the time I get a chance it is too late (just before bed) and I decided to "do it tomorrow" and well, I am sure we all have things that don't get done "tomorrow"....

The weekend was full.  4 of us couples celebrated Valentines Day together on Saturday night.  After some brainstorming and planning - we met with our men at Mountain Bean, gave them the first "envelope" and left them with coffee and cards to "write a love letter or poem to your sweetheart".  Needless to say, the evening was fun and we ended up eating at the Keg ... which is another word for "amazing steak meal!"  I am so thankful for my "Valentines"  (my sweetheart Alvin, kids Ashley and Michael, Joshua and Leah, and grandsons: Jay (in heaven) and Everett.  While we are still in our kid's loft (about 40 steps from their house) I am really cherishing the last few weeks of being able to see my grandson standing at the window at the front door - and being able to kiss his sweet little face! I honestly, do not take that privilege for granted, and I know already how much I am going to miss being in their front yard! (the moving will begin soon for both of us - the kids are moving to the city, and therefore we are moving too!)

On Valentine's Day however, I was really missing my firstborn Grandson Jay.  This would have been his 3rd Valentine's Day in Heaven.  And my heart ached for him.  I decided to go to Sunnyside with some flowers.  While the road was plowed, I had to walk through alot of snow (yep, in my shoes, since I had not planned the snow part!) and when I got to his little grave site - I had to use my car snow brush to dig around the stone and brush it off so you could see it.  And then I laid the bouquet of flowers.  Yes, I know you are thinking perhaps why? ... after all, I didn't take flowers to my parents grave site, or to my in laws.  I also realize that this is the "resting place" for his little body, but perhaps I just need to do this for me.  I miss him so much and continue to wonder what he would look like at 2 1/2 years of age, and what we would do together, and how he would play with his little brother.  He just really holds such a huge place in my heart alongside Everett - even if I did not get the chance to watch him grow.  I often ask the Lord to tell him how much I love him!

So now - perhaps I need to explain amputations!  I realize that an amputation is all about missing a part of you that has been removed from your body (usually through an accident or through medical intervention due to health reasons).  My dad was an amputee (as a result of injury during WWII).  I watched as he struggled with learning how to use new prosthetics.  I watched him fall down and get back up.  I heard him talk about the phantom pain he had - as if the leg was still there.  What does this have to do with me?

Well on Sunday, I realized that even though I was sitting in a different church, and had peace about that decision, but it felt like an amputation of sorts.  You see - it seemed that we needed to leave in order to move along in our journey of healing.  Thing is - we also left behind the church body that we love... and miss.
I know - you are likely thinking - then why did we leave? It is a long story.  Bottom line is - we felt that was the only way we could move forward.  I almost hate talking to people about it - as our painful journey began two and a half years ago - and some people likely want to just tell us to "suck it up and move on".  Reality is - it is a journey.... we are moving on in it... and well, it just feels like and amputated limb.  Enough said.

Our weekend was full of fun - of surprise - of deep thought.  Last session in the Bible Study that I am doing - (Beth Moore ~ David - Seeking a Heart Like His) I read the scripture from 1 Samuel 30:6 that said, "David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of storing him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters.  But David found strength in the LORD his God."  One of the things she said during the DVD session was:  "You better know what to do - when it's only YOU!"  You need to know that your strength is found in the LORD!

So even if I struggle with amputation, I know where I can find my source of strength!  In Jesus Christ MY Lord and MY God!.  Thank you Lord.

craziness at times

I can't believe it - it is the 7th of February and this is my first post of the month.  It isn't because nothing has been happening, because it has.  It isn't because I haven't wanted to write - because I have wanted to.  But I just don't know - I have just been working alot it seems (all good though) and I have also been tired.  I still seem to be trying to regain the momentum of reentering the working world!  It seems the older I get - the longer some things take.

The past few weeks - have been full of new working experiences, including an overnight mobile.  They have also contained many coffees with friends - many suppers made for friends coming over - many lunches made for the boys (because even if I am at work - I still need to leave something for the workers!).  And yet - I am so tired. 

I feel like the emotional tiredness is getting better.  There has been huge weights lifted from Alvin and I as we have made a decision on where to attend church.  And the most unlikely place for us has become the place we have chosen to go to.  Choosing to leave a church family that has been your "family" for 32 years - is NOT an easy thing believe me - but well, it is just complicated, let me put it that way. 

I know the emotional causes physical stuff - I am well aware of that.  But in the midst of all of it - there is a peace and we just know God is bringing about healing bit by bit. 

We have also made a decision to travel first of all - to see my sister and brother-in-law when they come to Niagara Falls, and we have also booked a cruise with friends to Alaska.  (we are pumped about this and so I am really hoping that I can get the time off). 

I have also begun the Beth Moore Bible Study on David -- and let me tell you - I am always eager to do the study - even if it takes about 40 minutes a day.  There is nothing like being in the Word of God!!  I missed last Monday night because I worked late - so I am looking forward to going tonight.

I have stepped up my exercise again - and enjoyed my first Curves ZUMBA class (zumba combined with the stations).  LOVED IT!

And today - (and I should be getting going!) I am joining my girls for a Spa Day - lunch, massage and pedicures at the spa at Inn at the Forks.  OOOooooo..... I can hardly wait.  Pampering will feel wonderful!

Sometimes life is crazy
you know that too -
but in the midst of craziness
i know that HE IS...
MY GOD loves me - and carries me - and holds me.
He IS GOD over all .... even the craziness of life!