On the way to work - I stopped at a McDonald's ... and before I got my Golden Bran muffin and black coffee, I used the washroom. Now, THAT was quite the experience. I walked in, and immediately noticed a yucky smell (checked to see if there was pee on the floor somewhere) and there was toilet paper scraps on the floor (some used, so that was equally gross!) I did the "squat" thing (which I got down pat during my trip to Thailand a couple years ago) and then went to wash my hands. GROSS again ... water all over the messy sinks. I was never so glad to get out of a bathroom (using something to cover the handle so that my hand didn't get contaminated on the way out!) BUT THEN ... as I was leaving, I notice that (um-hum...) I was in the MEN'S BATHROOM. So now, I was REALLY grossed out!! (and may I add that when I got into the car, I pulled the hand sanitizer from my purse and used it!)
As I drove, I wondered how I made this mistake? Was I just tired? Ya, I figured that was a good answer! Honestly I just really did not like this start to my day!
But here, at the other end of the day, I can say I have been reflecting back onto the day, and actually onto the other days in this terribly full week, and I realize a couple things. The most blatantly obvious is that my "busy-ness" has occupied my day - and has crowded out the Quiet Time with my Lord. I have not spent the time I have wanted with Him. I have not bowed low daily, giving Jesus all my cares, and "laying them down at the cross" so to speak. And I realize that this neglect in itself, has set me up for some hard times lately.
You see - I know enough through my 53 years, that life IS hard at times. That life is EXCRUCIATING at some times. That life can also feel "easy" at times. I also know that often when life does get hard - it is much easier to walk through my days when I have come before the throne in time with my Jesus! So it made sense that today, amidst the physical pain, that I just felt totally out of energy - out of emotions - out of strength. MINE was depleted over and over and over - years ago ... and because of my lack of QT this week - I was not being enriched and strengthened the way I know I can be when I include HIM in my walk.
(okay, now I feel like I am babbling)
Anyhow - the tears have flowed today - for many reasons. Today we marked the first few paragraphs in the next chapter of our lives. One day - over coffee I can fill you in more. But for now - I know I want to get back into the practice of coming "face down" before Him daily - waiting on HIM - listening - praying - because I know that Scripture says - that those who wait on the Lord - will renew their strength. And right about now - I need that. Thank you Lord for your promise! O Lord, help me to wait - help me to worship - help me to love you fully with all my being. O Lord, hear my prayer!