Thursday, September 1

those that wait upon the Lord ~ (oh Lord, please help me)

I will admit - I have had a hard day today. It has been full of physical pain (another fibromyalgia flare up) and I find the pain makes me even more emotional than I usually am!  Last night, about 8 pm, we concluded another chapter in our lives,    and a new one began. Last night's sleep was hard (due to the pain and stiffness) and when the alarm went this morning and I needed to get dressed for work - I felt like the "tin man" again.  (guess I would be the tin woman!)

On the way to work - I stopped at a McDonald's ... and before I got my Golden Bran muffin and black coffee, I used the washroom.  Now, THAT was quite the experience.  I walked in, and immediately noticed a yucky smell (checked to see if there was pee on the floor somewhere) and there was toilet paper scraps on the floor (some used, so that was equally gross!) I did the "squat" thing (which I got down pat during my trip to Thailand a couple years ago) and then went to wash my hands.  GROSS again ... water all over the messy sinks.  I was never so glad to get out of a bathroom (using something to cover the handle so that my hand didn't get contaminated on the way out!)  BUT THEN ... as I was leaving, I notice that (um-hum...) I was in the MEN'S BATHROOM.  So now, I was REALLY grossed out!! (and may I add that when I got into the car, I pulled the hand sanitizer from my purse and used it!)

As I drove, I wondered how I made this mistake? Was I just tired?  Ya, I figured that was a good answer!  Honestly I just really did not like this start to my day!

But here, at the other end of the day, I can say I have been reflecting back onto the day, and actually onto the other days in this terribly full week, and I realize a couple things.  The most blatantly obvious is that my "busy-ness" has occupied my day - and has crowded out the Quiet Time with my Lord.  I have not spent the time I have wanted with Him.  I have not bowed low daily, giving Jesus all my cares, and "laying them down at the cross" so to speak.  And I realize that this neglect in itself, has set me up for some hard times lately.  

You see - I know enough through my 53 years, that life IS hard at times.  That life is EXCRUCIATING at some times.  That life can also feel "easy" at times.  I also know that often when life does get hard - it is much easier to walk through my days when I have come before the throne in time with my Jesus! So it made sense that today, amidst the physical pain, that I just felt totally out of energy - out of emotions - out of strength.  MINE was depleted over and over and over - years ago ... and because of my lack of QT this week - I was not being enriched and strengthened the way I know I can be when I include HIM in my walk.
(okay, now I feel like I am babbling)

Anyhow - the tears have flowed today - for many reasons.  Today we marked the first few paragraphs in the next chapter of our lives.  One day - over coffee I can fill you in more.  But for now - I know I want to get back into the practice of coming "face down" before Him daily - waiting on HIM - listening - praying - because I know that Scripture says - that those who wait on the Lord - will renew their strength.  And right about now - I need that. Thank you Lord for your promise!  O Lord, help me to wait - help me to worship - help me to love you fully with all my being.  O Lord, hear my prayer!

Isaiah 40  verse 27 to the end of the chapter, in The Message puts it this way:  

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, 

   or, whine, Israel, saying,

"God has lost track of me. 
   He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts. 
   He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. 
   And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired, 
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out, 
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. 
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired, 
   they walk and don't lag behind.

or as it is in the New Living Translation, same chapter in Isaiah says it like this:

28 Have you never heard?
      Have you never understood?
   The Lord is the everlasting God,
      the Creator of all the earth.
   He never grows weak or weary.
      No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
 29 He gives power to the weak
      and strength to the powerless.
 30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
      and young men will fall in exhaustion.
 31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
      They will soar high on wings like eagles.
   They will run and not grow weary.
      They will walk and not faint.

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