I love the psalms. They just seem to express what is on my heart. David - a man with a heart after God's own (as scripture calls him) seemed to know how to take a pen, and journal!! And I am so glad - because those psalms resonate over and over and over again within my being!
Life has been complicated lately. It has been good. It has been hard. It has seemed long. It has seemed like time has flown by. It has been happy. It has been sad. It has been full of hard work. It has included days of rest and relaxation. Complicated. Full. And well, it has also been MESSY. (that is just me I guess!)
Anyhow, today, as I have written in my journal, my thoughts, or my "cry" as I wrote it, was the words from Psalm 40. I noticed in an old bible that I was using, I had written " *summer and fall '94" by the Psalm. (yep, I write in my bible) This means that at that point in my life, this psalm was pivotal. Actually, Psalm 40 has been MY psalm over and over again through out life. I remember reciting it when my mom was living her last week in the hospital in 96. Scripture is such a healing salve to weary and hurting souls! This is the Psalm that I wrote out in my journal:
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
When I was done, I leafed over in my old bible and noticed that I had also written by Psalm 42 which is also a favorite of mine. David sounds "messy" here and is crying out to God. David knew where his strength came from! He was also a man who just poured his heart out. Psalm 42 says it like this:
For the choir director: A psalm[a] of the descendants of Korah.
so I long for you, O God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
3 Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and 6 my God!
Here is what I wrote beside verse 5. Now even though I wrote it, and have no quotations or source written by the quote, I am pretty sure I wrote it from somewhere. I wrote:
"David turned the gaze of his soul heavenward. He saw God as an inexhaustible source of Hope. But his response to God was not passive. He talked to himself, challenged his downcast soul, admonished himself to hope in God and reassured himself that he would yet praise the Lord for his help!" SOURCE UNKNOWN
to that I added MY words: "if this was our only prayer, it would be enough!"
This is timely words for me this morning, and for the day, in the midst of my messy life. God will be GOD and give me a firm place to stand, and a new song to sing! That is MY hope and prayer.