Saturday, October 11

Beginning to breathe again.....


It is absolutely quiet - except for the quiet hum of my clothes dryer. I can look outside and see the flag on our flagpole gently blowing in the wind. I love this feeling right now. And all that I can think of is that I am finally being able to breathe again. Funny how life does that to us. The eleven weeks have been a flurry of emotion, and exhaustion, as well as the depts of great sorrow to great excitement and often, if you can imagine, a combination of both extremes. Tossed in there, in the whole mix, is university. This past week, my thoughts were "Joy, what were you thinking when you signed up to begin taking courses!!" And, to think that originally I was thinking that I would take two courses to begin with. I had to ask myself if I was crazy?!

I think the reason I realize how quiet these moments are right now, is because I am just finally able to relax, even a little bit. While I was basking in the moment on Monday when I got my quiz back with an A on it... at the same time I was swetting/fretting as I had to have an essay done for Friday at 4:30.
My week was so full just with work stuff, I would start, but think I still had time. You have to know (if you don't know this already) that I "fly by the seat of my pants" at the best of times... really, I KNOW that I can get things done in limited time, but this essay was really REALLY putting me to the test, and I was hating it! So, armed with way more books than I needed from the library, I began, taking into consideration the tips that my girls gave to me. And what the heck was the CHICAGO STYLE of essay writing.... I had so much to learn in so little time!

Well, one day led to another, one night meeting to another, and finally at 11:30 or somewhere around there, I got home from a meeting, and got to work. I warned my husband that he may wake up with me not being in bed, but not to worry. I made myself a strong pot of coffee and got to work at the dining room table....
(thus the picture to celebrate the beginning of the essay in written form...) Well, a few cups of coffee later, I could hear my husband get up and look over the banister down into where I was and ask if I was almost done. To which I replied, "almost". Well, I got into bed about 5 am, knowing that I would get my daughter Ash to help me with the footnotes, etc.
She did, and I printed it off complete, on Thursday night. Then yesterday, I dropped it off in the hands of Professor Zerbe, and he actually looked like he was waiting for it. Perhaps, since I am obviously the oldest in the class, was he actually wondering if I would get it done? Or maybe I was the only one that he was waiting for. Regardless, he had a smile, and I had a smile.... and I began to BREATHE!!

Maybe I am crazy.... and yet, amidst the deep sorrow of grief over my grandson, and the deep joy of Ashley and Michael's wedding - I am finding that university is exhilerating!! And each class, each assignment, I am closer to that degree that I will graduate with about 7 years from now. And, I am learning in the process!
God, thank you for your Word, but mostly for your tangible presence during each moment of my life. I think you must also smie with me during these times.... and I know that you continue to be my strength!

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