just be

I had many conversations with people this morning - family and friends I bumped into and talked with on the phone.  However since one of them, God has really been speaking into my being.  And, I have been hearing him loud and clear.  I love that about God.  He speaks .... and often I am too busy or distracted to hear - but today he is really speaking some simple words to me.  Words about just being still.  Timely words in many ways.

Lately, I have not allowed myself to "just be" .  My QT with the Lord has been lacking.  The fact that I am fighting with fatigue these days (presumably accented by low iron) just adds to the way life has been.
I give it all at work - but then on the off days, find myself just wanting to get other things done, odd jobs tied up.  I have been missing a regular schedule quiet time with my Lord, and I am seeing how that lack affects my life so drastically.  I am finding that I am not allowing time to just BE STILL and sit with Him.  I miss that.

I think God has used several things in my life to try to impress on me the fact that it is so necessary to just  be!  I don't know any other way to put it.  Sometimes when I talk to people, they totally get the "just BE" part.  Other people just don't get it.  That's okay - it is their life.    Lately I have had people asking me - "so what are you going to do at the retreat centre?"  "What are you going to offer for the women as far as types of retreats"  "What topics/sessions will you offer"

I was trying to answer their questions, and as I mentioned to Alvin, I often came away from there feeling like "what in the world are we doing?"  But today ... after a conversation about the retreat bed and breakfast for women that we are building - God just kept saying and reminding me that when He first gave this vision to me 10 years ago - He said it was to be a place where women come come and "just BE!"  God never gave me the impression or the go ahead to plan a place where it was so busy that women went away overwhelmed, or as tired as they came.  NO ... the vision was all about offering a place where women would be able to retreat to - and just be able to rest, renew and refresh by providing a place where women could feel relaxed and able to just rest if they wanted to rest ... walk if they wanted to walk... read a book in their pj's if they wanted to .. sit in a hot tub ... get a nice lunch or perhaps breakfast in bed if they stay over night.  A place where they could come alone or with a sister, or a friend.  A place where they could journal, or paint ... sit or sleep ... talk with others or enjoy quiet ... walk, or bike or just sit on the porch with a great cup of coffee and listen to and watch the birds!
I realized today that when some people ask me "what am I going to be doing ... what am I going to be offering etc..." that it makes me feel hurried.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever happens in the house will be made very clear to me, so while I work on writing down ideas and reworking some of them ... I am going to continue to just be and listen to what God is saying.  I do not want to offer a place where there is so much happening that I lose the initial instructions from God .  He said to offer a place where women could come and just be.  That is my intent .  O Lord, may you find me faithful to this.

I came across something I journalled in summer of 2002.  Seems I always have a tendency to run hard and then realize I am not taking time to have my quiet time with the Lord.  Today, He has spoken again, and well, after two full FULL days of work - I am so glad I can have the quiet time - and to hear him loud and clearly saying ... JOY JUST BE ... be still.

Thought I would share this writing with you - if you wish to read it!  As we go into the Long weekend - may you find the time to just be ... and to be able to rest, renew and relax!  Enjoy "be-ing" ...

With Him

Lord?

Lord? Are you there?

Yes my child ~ but where have you been?  

I've missed you

It's been a few days since you and I 

have really spent some quality time together.

Father, please forgive me.

I haven't intended to be neglectful

I love you Lord

But my life just got full ... 

I've been running with all kinds of things that occupy my life

I have been so tired and ...

My child, I don't need to hear your excuses, its okay

I am just so glad we are communing again

I long to walk with you

There is so much I have to give you

SO much I want to tell you

Ah, here I am Father

It feels so good to be here

Just rest in my presence dear

Quiet yourself

Lay your head against me, and just "be"

Don't let your head run with schedules, or lists, or plans

Just enjoy my presence, and our time together

Lord, I can feel your arms around me

I can't see you, but I feel like I am wrapped tightly in your embrace
Yes my child, just like a parent holds their child

And Lord, your shoulders are so big...

Big enough to carry all your cares and concerns, 
and still have room for you to lean your head on

Father?

Yes?

There is something I feel as I rest against you ~

It feels like the beating of your heart

Can you feel it my child?

Yes Lord, I can.

It  is my heart and it beats with a passion for you my child.

Feel it ... let it become one beat with yours

Know that my ways, I want to be your ways too.

It beats with love.

Love that is everlasting and overflowing

It pulses with grace ~ that is abundant and full

Don't rush away my child

Just rest here

Rest in my love

Just "be"

Renew your spirit and refresh your weary soul

And then Joy ~ go out and share me with others around you

oh and one more thing...

hurry back to me

I am missing you already.

I love you

written in the summer of 2002

but resonating strongly in the summer of 2011!